What Did You Do Saturday Night?

We didn't have big plans this weekend. My wife has been without a job for some time and our recreational plans have been "scaled back" some over the last month or so. We've gone to a movie or two. We've changed our out-to-eat habits from steak and seafood to burgers and fries. We are being more selective on what we spend our recreational dollars on.

So....when this weekend approached with nothing on the radar, my wife tries to find stuff that will keep me occupied. Inner Space Caverns isn't far away. I've bugged her to go for some time. I enjoyed it when I was a kid. But, we found out tickets were $18 a person. If there were rides in the cave or live music or a stripper pole, it might be worth $18 a person, but that would be about an hour and we'd be out $36 with only stalactite memories to show for it. The cave will be there when we have more money to waste.

So....just when it appeared it would be another evening with our beloved high definition television, I started looking at fun things to do in the area once we get a kid. Trust me - there ain't much. One thing that popped into my mind was Summer Fun Water Park. When I was a kid, it was a swimming pool called Riverside. It was originally built in 1920 and was an "old school" swimming pool. Same pool my mom and aunts and uncles went to as kids. My brother and I went ALLLL the time growing up. I remember the water was ICE COLD and it took 30 minutes just to get my dingle dangles below sea level. There was a high dive....but the pool was only seven foot deep. My brother chipped his tooth on the bottom once. My childhood memories of the place are AWESOME. Then, in 1988 - they closed it and built this thing they call a water park. I have never been back. But, I decided to see what the prices were for when we had a kid we could take there. I have been begging my wife to go to Schlitterbahn with me. That's the MONSTER park about 2 hours away. It's expensive and VERY crowded. My wife doesn't do hot, crowded, and bathing suit.

So....I pulled up the website for Summer Fun Water Park. $17. A little high, but do-able. Then, the gods shined down a ray of light. Summer Fun, for the first time ever, is having Adult Night. There was one in June, one in August, and ONE TONIGHT! Tickets are $15. BYOB. A special "show band" from Austin. I meekly mentioned it to Lori and shockingly, she asked where our swimsuits were. Evidentally, as long as I leave hot out of it, she does crowded and bathing suit!

So, I ran up and got tickets early, went to the store and bought a smaller cooler, a 12 pack of beer, and a new beach towel. By the way - Note to beer companies: If you want me to drink your overpriced, but swell beverage - PUT IT IN A DAMN CAN! I can't take bottles to the water park. I was forced to pick between Miller, Bud, and Natrual Lite (Miller was my choice). I was disappointed that I didn't have more of a choice.

We prepared ourselves accordingly, got there early, moved in front of a big line because we already had tickets, showed our ID's to the portly Belton PD at the door and we staked our our plot of land. I could still recognize a couple of old characteristics of the old Riverside pool 21 years after I had dipped into it's icy confines. There were some "monkey rings" still strung across the big pool that were still there (I became an adult the day I could make it to the end of those). The pool I remember was still there....it had just been modified a little. More slides going into it. A giant mushroom in the middle with water pouring off the sides like a giant umbrella. They had added four water slides. And, there was a "lazy river" that ran around the back of the park. They had plenty of picnic tables, a couple of volleyball courts and some more bells and whistles.

As everybody filed in, 8:00 pm and the owner came over the intercom and told the lifeguards to get in their places. The pools were OPEN! What happened after that was a little bit of Redneck Heaven. There were no whistles by the lifeguards to stop running. Nobody told me that I couldn't take my beer in the pool. Nobody told me I was being too loud. They simply let the rowdy crowd get rowdy. Nobody got hurt. We watched young tattoo-covered, rebel flag bikini wearing, three packs a day couples fight and cry and laugh and yell and splash. It was amazing. Lori and I took our beers into the lazy river and proceeded to float in a circle for over an hour.

We weren't the oldest people there. We weren't the ugliest people there. And God knows we weren't the fattest people there either. I actually gave the lazy river a new name - Whale Watching. I saw more inapropriate bikinis in an hour than I had seen in my whole life. Whoever is making Rebel Flag bikinis in a size 22 needs to stop. Or at least give the sized 22 girls another option.

After an hour, we decided to give up our tubes and head over to the main pool. I had loaded about 200 songs on my iPod and had some speakers just in case. But, the band had started and it appears that they STOLE my exact playlist. The band was called LC Rocks and they looked like they might be distant cousins of step-brothers of some unknown 80's band. But, they did a pretty good job considering there was a big sign right in front of the lead siger that said "DONT RUN". I don't know if Frank Sinatra had to deal with pool warnings.

And that's when I saw it. A sight out of my dreams. The pool had become one giant night club. Everybody had drinks in their hand. There were people making out in every corner. The giant mushroom that so many children play on each and every day and become a giant stripper pole. It was the water park of my dreams. Chlorine became more necessary than it ever has. While being serenaded by Sweet Child of Mine and Rock You Like a Hurricane, people were drinking hurricanes and doing things below the water that brought a whole new meaning to Summer Fun.

We stayed until my beer was long gone and our fingers and toes were as pruned as possible. Three hours of sitting in cool-ish water in the late night 90 degree heat. We cut out a little early because we saw how drunk the people were getting and knew they would be on the road shortly. Stopped off at Whataburger to complete our college-day fantasy.

Now, we'll sit and wait for Adult Night at Inner Space Caverns. Live the dream.