Random Thoughts

Number one recent work frustration - Workers that show up and finish 80% of all the stuff they're supposed to do.  Why not just do it all so you don't have to come back?  I'll never understand it and it frustrates me to no end.  I had a list of ten people today to call and gripe out because they didn't finish their work.  I called eight of them.  I figured that'd be good enough.

New wife pet peeve - Take the damn lid off the stuff!  There's a "peel off" lid that is included with the catchup, mustard, spice bottles, butter, peanut butter, and sour cream.  For some reason, my wife doesn't want that to leave the container.  She'll peel back a part of it and then put it back.  It's confusing when you have a half empty spice jar and nothing is coming out.  Then you realize that the "cover" is still intact.  Recently, I've made it my mission to get rid of these barriers in my life.  Don't know if she's noticed or not.


I have a bad habit.  Well....maybe it isn't.  When someone is talking to me, more often than not, all I can think about is for them to finish so I can tell a better story.  Wait.  That's not right.  It's usually not a better story.  It's usually a lame story.  But it's a story I want to tell because, most importantly, it involves me.  And those stories are better.  Dang.  I just tripped on my ego.

It is SO hot down here this week.  It's been 103-105 with a heat index of 110-115.  I lay on the floor under the ceiling fan with the AC cranked down low and sweat and think "How the hell did people live in this before air conditioning?".  Then I think "What the hell is a heat index anyway?  If it FEELS like 115 degrees, then it's onn-hundred-and-fifteen damn degrees."  I talk to myself a lot.

Since I've had the kids, I've eaten at McDonalds more in the last nine months than I have my whole entire life.  Their food is absolutely horrible.  All of it.  The McChicken for a dollar is the only thing I can eat there without also eating my pride.  McDonalds is trying to beat all the other competition like Starbucks (with coffee) and now real fruit smoothies.  Why not just go the whole nine yards.  I say they start selling McBeer.  It would totally change the face of fast food as we know it.  That would be one FUN play area, too.  They could have adult night at the play area.  On second thought - eww.

The best form of parenting is the art of the BRIBE.  My kids are incapable of behaving without some kind of carrot at the end of the stick.  That carrot could be dessert, candy, lack of punishment.  Rarely do they participate in the good behavior game on their own.  Come to think of it, my wife can't get me to lift a finger without some sort of bribe, too.  She just doesn't see it that way.

Some random mother yelled at my little girl yesterday at McDonalds.  She deserved to be yelled at for what she did, but not by THAT biotch.  I was all for letting things work themself out.  My wife, however, went to protect her bear cub.  She forced Bailey to come down off the play area and offer up an apology.  It was only ten minutes AFTER the confrontation that we all thought up the best comebacks to say to her.  When she screamed "Who do you think you are?!" to Bailey, we decided the best thing for her to say was "I'm Barbie and this is my dreamhouse.  Get your kid and get off my property!"  It's always 10 minutes too late.

Went to Austin today.  Austin is cool - but-
Austin is wierd - I'm not a gay person, but I don't mind them.  But the gay people in Austin go out of their way to make you uncomfortable.  Just be gay.  Don't wear a tiara and fancy fairy wings to the grocery store to make sure everybody can see you and your 400 pounds of gayness.  I don't wear a speedo to proclaim my straightness.