An Idiots Guide to Life

The incredible Shrinking Man

2011-08-27T23:35:00.000-05:00

My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I'll be 42 in 3 months. It's always in the back of my mind. Blood pressure issues run rampant in my family. I carry my mothers anxiety and stress with me. I inherited it - there's no book or doctor that can do anything about that. It's who I am and will always be. Always wanting to please others before myself. Worried what other people think. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

On August 5th, I went to the doctor because I had something weird on my back. I thought it was a pimple at first, but it wouldn't go away. It bled everywhere. Ruined shirts. It grew. I know. Nasty, right? Finally, I figured out it wasn't going to go away on it's own and I had to have it removed. I joked with the doctors that it was my evil twin's finger trying to get out. If it wasn't the evil twin, maybe I was the evil one. Everybody laughed. Honestly, I was scared to death at what they were going to find once they cut it off. Turns out, everything was fine. There was a long name for "growth that means nothing" and that was it. But, my blood pressure was high. A little too high to use the term "pre" anything. This was beyond "pre" and if I didn't do something, it could be "post" real fast. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I made an appointment to have a physical for three weeks later. I walked out of the office and I think something clicked. I was 320 pounds. My diet sucks ass. Gas station lunches. Butter covered dinners. Never have time for breakfast. I don't care for fruits or oatmeal or yogurt or fish. I don't mind them, buy why have that when there is steak and gravy and convenient stuff in cans and packages that I can get from freezer to gut in 3.2 seconds? Seriously, who's got that kind of time? My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I've got plenty of reasons for going on a diet. Being around for my kids is the one everybody thought would get me to lose weight. Turns out, no. Instead, I finish all the crap that they won't eat. I don't like to waste food. I'd have a small meal, then eat half a pot of pasta over the stove before doing the dishes. I gained 20 pounds at the oven. And, at 320, nobody knew it. I've always been a big guy, but nobody really knew HOW big. I mean, I "wear it well". At least I used to until recently. A little at the neck, a little in the butt, a little around the chest, in the arms, legs, back of the head. My gut had been screaming at me lately. But, my excuse was something like - "I don't drink, smoke, party - the one thing I like to do is eat." And eat I did. What I wanted whenever I wanted. Three times more than I should. Who's going to stop me? My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I went home and looked around and told myself to at least get a plan. There are so many plans that nobody knows what to do. Low fat, low carb, low sodium, drink this, not that, biggest loser, don't lose too fast, P90X will change your LIFE! It's all too much. I knew what I didn't want to do - Fad diets. No cabbage soup diet. No adkins. No stand on one leg and eat tofu M&M's. I wanted to do something that I could start RIGHT THEN and keep doing forever. Meaning always. Meaning till I'm 142. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I turned first to what was familiar to me. The Food Network and Alton Brown. He had just recently had the premiere of his new season and had just lost 50 pounds. I wanted to do what he did. He has a four list system. Foods he eats every day, foods he eats 3 times a week, foods he allows himself to have once a week, and foods he never eats again. There was nothing crazy. A fruit smoothie at breakfast. Always breakfast, no exceptions. Gotta eat breakfast. Sardines and avocado for lunch......wait. Sardines. More on that later. Other than the sardines, nothing I can't eat today. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I went to the grocery store and bought fruit. I made the smoothie I saw on the TV show. I don't eat fruit. Turns out, I can drink it quite well. I drink a giant purple monstrosity every morning that taste kind of like ice cream. There are things in it that the old Steven would laugh at the new Steven for putting past his lips. But it ain't bad. I bought oats. No sugared cereals. No breakfast sandwiches in a bag. Oats. Turns out, it ain't so bad. A little honey and cinnamon and BANG - instant goodness. I bought sardines and pink salmon in a can. More on that later. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I learned what soy milk and almond milk were. I learned what quinoa and couscous were. I read labels and figured out what I needed to eat every day. I had bought a kitchen scale a couple of years ago. My father-in-law had taken it to his house and forgotten about it. I wiped the dust off. In my over-preparedness, I tried to get together a spreadsheet of calories and grams and percentages of what I should eat. I was and I am still measuring out food like a freaking chemist. I know down to the half gram what goes in my pie hole. Luckily, I found a free website called CalorieCount.com that does a much better job of calculating it all for me. Threw the spreadsheet away and dove in head first to the lifestyle change that I made fun of whenever somebody else did it. But, my mother had a stroke at age 42.

Switched from peanut butter to almond butter. Switched from red meat to chicken and sometimes sardines. Switched from no milk to milk, then to soy milk, and now almond milk. Switched from white bread to wheat bread. Switched from canned vegetables to frozen vegetables. Switched from ice cream to light yogurt. Switched from snack crackers to nuts. Switched from sodas and (my real weight gain downfall) Gatorade to water. I drink so much friggen water. And breakfast. Always breakfast, no exceptions. Gotta eat breakfast. I have a fruit smoothie each morning that makes your fruit smoothie roll over and ask for another swat. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I had the diet in place. I stayed away from the scale. I knew I was dropping weight but I didn't want to be shocked or let down. I just wanted it to last. I have a bad habit of collecting hobbies. I'll spend tens, hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on what I think is going to be my passion forever and then something shiny catches my eye and I ditch it for the next big thing. I desperately DONT want this to be THAT. I'm aware. I have safeguards. I have people that will nag me. I hate to be nagged. I was missing one thing. A workout. I needed to do something to make this thing happen. The weight was one thing. The blood pressure was another. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

I got a hold of the P90X workout system. I had heard all about it on the radio. Reviews all came back positive. But, it was EXTREME. I'm motivated enough. So, I popped in the first video. I almost threw up watching the first 5 minutes. They started with 15 pull ups like it was a stretch. Pull up? I can't do a pull up! I weigh 320 pounds! I haven't been able to do a pull up since.......EVER! It got worse from there. No way. I'd quit before I start. What to do? Turns out, there is a prequel to the P90X system called Power 90. I got a hold of that and still felt a little sick. That looks hard! But, I dove in. It is hard. The first night was "Sculpting 1-2". I did o.k. I couldn't finish some of it. But the dude that talks to you the whole time tells you "That's o.k." (I'm sure he'll scream at me about how I'm pond scum later in the workouts....but he's nice on day one). The next day, I thought I was going to die. Day 2 was "Sweat 1-2" with "Abs 100" after it. I didn't have to think I was going to die after day to. I knew I was. But, I kept going. Day three was a little easier. Day four was just as hard. Day five was a bit easier. Day six was easier than I thought it'd be. Here I am sitting on Day 7 and I feel like 90 days of this will be awesome. I can feel it in my arms and legs. I can see it in my chest and gut. I can breath it when I walk the dog. I have to make it 90 days. After that, I'll go back and look at that P90X again. I'll probably still throw up. But, my mother had a stroke at age 42.

Thursday, I had to go back for my followup appointment. Nervous, but excited, I was an hour early. I had printouts of my CalorieCount.com food logs to show my doctor. I wore clean underwear. I was ready. I told myself that if my blood pressure was down, I was going to treat myself to a SMALL Dairy Queen Nutter Butter Blizzard. I'd denied myself anything close to it for 3 weeks. Turns out - no blizzard. My blood pressure was better but still not "borderline." The never say low or high with bloodpressure. Like it's going to hurt my feelings. It's always "pre-hypertension" or "above borderline hypertension." It's high blood pressure! I get it. But, my blood levels were pretty outstanding. My doctor was pretty amazed at the weight loss. 308 pounds. Lost 12 pounds in 20 days. He put me on some medication but told me to check back with him in 90 days to see if I needed the refill. I won't. Instead of discouraging me, I worked out harder on Thursday and Friday. I ate better than I ever have. By Saturday, I was eating more but better and I was down to 305.8 this morning. I'll get that small Blizzard when I hit 300 and then I'll never see another Blizzard again. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

Wait. That's not true. I'm not on a diet. If I want a Blizzard, I'll have a freaking Blizzard. If I want a chicken fried steak, I'll have one. I'm not crazy. I'm trying to eat clean. I'm sure the term "eat clean" is patented and someone is making a lot of money off of it, but I feel like I made it up. I know how many calories I need. I know how many calories I have. I know how many calories I burn. Every day I'm learning more and more how to control how it all goes in and down. I'm hoping that eventually, I won't even want that Blizzard. I'm not on a diet. I just eat clean. It's o.k. to get a little dirty now and then. As long as you take a bath and work that Blizzard off. My mother had a stroke at age 42.

My goal is 250 pounds. My doctor mirrored that request. At this rate, I'll be there by Thanksgiving. But, I'm not a fool. I know I'm about to slow down. I actually feel like I've lost a lot of this too quickly. But, I can actually SEE the difference. I have the before pictures. I won't show them to anyone until the after pictures are ready. They're gross, but they're still kind of me. Soon it won't be. My reward to myself won't be anything to eat. When I hit 250, I'm going to call over to Salado and book a flight. Then I'm going to jump out of that flight. Skydiving. Maximum weight - 250. I thought that ship had sailed long ago. I'm excited to have a chance to try and do it again. My mother had a stroke at 42.

By the way - my mother is an amazing woman. She's probably healthier now that she ever has been. She's probably healthier than most of the people I know. She's proud of me. I just don't want to be sitting in a wheelchair next to her talking about how we should have done something sooner. That's my motivation. It's different this time because I'm not doing it for her. I'm not doing it for Lori. I'm not doing it because of my kids. I'm doing it for me. That's it - just for me. The fact that everybody else is involved is just a huge bonus.

I'll be different at 42. Promise.

Diary from the Drought

2011-07-28T22:39:00.001-05:00

Day 1 - Had a nice rain shower last night. I'm getting a little tired of the mud, but I'm sure summer will be here soon enough. I love summer. Can't wait for the swimming pools and water parks.

Day 7 - Wow. Sure did get my wish. It's been at least 100 degrees for the last seven days. I love it! You can really tell who the native Texans are as opposed to the transplants that complain about the heat! If you don't like it, go back to where you came from!

Day 14 - Whew! It's really hot out there. Grass is really starting to suffer. Cooled down in the pool yesterday. Wish it wasn't so crowded. That's o.k. Just part of being a Texan! It's funny - everybody is cooking eggs on the sidewalk. I wish they'd stop. It's starting to stink around here.

Day 21 - Man. This is a tough summer. I think I've lost 50 pounds in sweat. Sure would be nice for just one day of rain. My water bill is sky high. I'm getting tired of hearing how cool it is up north. Suck it yankees. At least we aren't living in the snow! My seat belt has branded itself into my chest this week. Fun!

Day 28 - Are you kidding me? It's halfway to boiling. 106 degrees is too hot for anybody. With the wind, I feel like I'm living in a friggen hair dryer. Everything is dead. I got my electric bill today and I think I'm going to have to apply for a loan to make it next month. Sat in the pool but even that was warm. This is really starting to get old. The corn on the stalks has already started popping.

Day 35 - Uggggg! I've had it. The difference between 90 degrees and 106 degrees is the look on everyones face like somebody just farted. My grass is beyond repair and the city is telling me to conserve water? Screw that! The water in the pools is evaporating so fast, the lifeguards were begging us to pee more often. I got kicked out of Walmart today for loitering in Frozen Foods without my pants on.

Day 42 - Now I know how the people in the middle east feel. I'm considering putting on a turban and finding a cave. I can't imagine the desert being much hotter than this hell hole. I stabbed a lady in front of me today with a Slim Jim because she said she was leaving for New York to visit family. Nobody leaves this heat. I worry that if I fall and bump my head I'll cook to death on the pavement before somebody finds me. This is not normal.

Day 49 - There is a hurricane in the gulf. Normally, everyone would be scared. But we're so desperate for rain, we don't care if it wipes out this sand dune. Just rain already. The only difference between Texas and Iraq is that we have Blue Bell ice cream. Without that, we're one step away from camels. I had to pull of the road today because the asphalt on the road reached it's melting point.

Day 56 - I've packed the car and we're moving to Canada. At least there I can complain about being a transplant.

American Idol - 2011 - Final Six

2011-04-21T21:22:00.000-05:00

Over on Facebook there is a conversation and it's too hard to write paragraphs of it all. And even if nobody reads it, who cares. My fingers want to type.

I've enjoyed this years version of American Idol TONS more than I thought I would. Tons. I thought it jumped the shark without Simon. Nonono. There's a new Simon that nobody saw coming this year - Jimmy Iovene. He's mean, he's caring, he's usually right, the contestants love him and hate him all in one. He's the new Simon. I've enjoyed the "Behind the Scenes" view of the prep work each week. I think Idol SAVED itself this year with that alone.

The Judges:
Randy Jackson - has pretty much taken over the role of Simon by default. He's no harsher than he ever was - he just doesn't sugar coat every single word. He's cut back on the "dawg" and the "yoyoyo" and even the "pitchy" comments a lot more.

Steven Tyler - I love the guy. He cracks me up. But, as a judge - he's horrible. He loves everybody. He can't tell anyone that they suck. But, he's unpredictable in his love for everyone. I'd like to see him do a duet with James Durbin on the finalie. That'd be sweet.

J. Lo - Let it be known - I am NOT a J. Lo fan. I think she's pretty. But, I can't stand her movies (except for Out of Sight). Idon't think she's just a bad singer. I think she's one of the worst I've ever seen. Her Saturday Night Live appearance was downright embarrassing. But - as an American Idol judge - she is head and shoulders one of the best. She's compassionate about her criticism, she loves these kids as much as Paula ever did without actually sleeping with any of them, and she can give criticism without being cruel. I think she's found her niche.

The contestants:

Sefano - He went home tonight. He's been one away for about six weeks now. I think he was actually relieved. I'm sure he would have felt guilty if he would have been safe again. He's a likable kid. He's an alright singer. He still has no idea how to perform to his strengths. He still doesn't know what kind of singer he NEEDS to be. He knows what he wants to be. I think off the show, he'll be a moderate star. I think he's got more of a chance to have a career as a heart-throb for 12 year old girls than a serious artist. But, that's the persona he wants to project I think.

Next that I think should go home:

Haley - She's a really good singer. But, she has no - and I mean NO idea how to put on a performance. She sang Adele last night and sang the hell out of the song. But she looked bored doing it. She throws her arm up. I can only remember one performance - the one where she crawled around on the piano. I've liked her singing almost every week, but I can't watch her. I hope she goes home next.

After that, I think the final five can win - even if I'm not a huge fan. In order that I think should leave:

Scotty - He bugs me. He's doing a Josh Turner impersonation. I'm happy that he's stuck to his roots every week, but c'mon. Sing a rock song with a country twang. He picked "Swingin" out of "Songs of the 21st century"? He should be disqualified for that alone. I was singing that in high school in the 80's. He picks George Strait and goes for I Cross My Heart? Of ALLLL the great George songs, that's what you pick? And if he doesn't hold his mike like a man pretty soon, I may buy a ticket to Hollywood and arrange for an accident to injure his right hand just so I don't have to see it anymore. I think he's a fine singer - but he's cheating himself by singing the safest songs he can find. Next week, I heard it's Disco night. He's going to sing George Jones "He Stopped Loving Her Today." C'mon.

Lauren - I think she's really good and she could really win. But she doesn't think so. It's painful every now and then watching her get uncomfortable while the judges tell her that she is better than she's acting. I think if she chooses to be a country star when she's off the show, country will embrace her and she'll have an o.k. career. But not like Carrie Underwood or even Kellie Picklar. I think she's real similar to Miranda Lambert without the edge. Country doesn't need another Miranda Lambert.....especially without any edge. If she chooses to go pop, I think she would be a great Nickelodeon star. She IS a better singer than Miley Cyrus.....but I think she should have the same type of career.

Jacob - Jacob is possibly the most unique singer who can do the "biggest" things. He's very immature though I think. I don't think the other contestants love him like they love everybody else. I especially don't think the remaining guys have anything to say to him. I think he thinks he's a diva and he doesn't like Casey's off-beat personality. But, I think Jacob could easily step in to the Luther Vandross spot that easy listening stations across America are BEGGING for. John Legend is the only name I can think of that is in that "classy smooth R&B voice" category. I think Jacob could be a HUGE star. He could also go into gospel music and have a safe career. Not huge - but safe. I don't think it's a secret that he's gay. That might keep him from going too gospel.

That brings who I think should be the final 2: James and Casey.
I think they both should win for different reasons. But, if it comes down to them as the final two, I think I've got it picked.

Casey - I was glad that the judges saved him. I wanted to see more of the "quirky" Casey instead of the "angry" Casey. I wanted to see him play the stand up Bass and the Beatles guitar. I wanted to hear him do things that the other contestants wouldn't dream of even trying. He's funny. He's entertaining. He looks like Seth Rogan's talented little brother. I think he'll find the most consistent career of all the contestants. He'll be in commercials, movies, duets, guest appearances. He's just got the personality to dominate all of it. He's already America's puppy. He was saved from defeat, he kissed J.Lo, he sang a jazz song and people loved it. He's been my favorite from the beginning (except someone else has jumped him). He's the CLASSIC "Second Place" winner.
Season one - Justin Guarini had marginal talent, but he was likable with crazy hair
Season four - Bo Bice was amazing on the show. Lost to Underwood. Crazy hair.
Season six - Blake Lewis. Crazy hair. Beat Boxer who charmed his way up.
Season eight - Adam Lambert. He probably should have won. He was too controversial and quirky for America. Crazy hair.
Season nine - Crystal Bowersox - Crazy dreaklocks. Quirky. More than the winner.

That brings us to:
James - Crazy James. He could very well come in second to Casey or another because of the same reasons I think Casey will come in second. He's got crazy hair and crazy facial expressions. But, his singing and performances aren't crazy. They're always awesome. He's the one that people are tuning in to see. What's he going to do this week? He usually comes through with amazing performances. I wasn't a fan at first. A screaming psudo-metal head? I mean, if he really goes to OzFest, the true metal heads will pelt him with beers and batteries until he's a bloody stump. You just can't win American Idol and be hardcore. It can't physically happen. But that doesn't mean he can't be the next Daughtry. He's like Adam Lambert without the swish. He's like Bo Bice without the southern rock. He's like Daughtry with three more range. I think Jimmy Iovene already has a spot for him. He's had a couple of dud performances, but he always comes back strong. This week's song was amazing. He's got control. He can tone it down and carry a tune with any of them. He can crank it up and sing at a level that even Steven Tyler is in awe of. He's got the backstory that the grandmothers love - he's overcome autism and other challenges to get where he is. He's got the pipes to remind middle aged metal fans (ahem) of what music is missing. And, if he's up against Casey, Jacob, I think he's got the advantage. If Lauren makes it to the final two, I'd suspect her confidence would be soaring and she could sneak in and win.

Thats what I think anyway.

Black Friday 2010

2010-11-27T22:17:00.000-06:00

O.k. O.k. O.k. I'm late posting this. Fact is, there isn't much to post. Nobody got kicked in the head. Nobody cussed at me for taking the last Nano-bot. Nobody lost a finger reaching into the clearance bin for Playstation games in spanish. But - some stuff happened. I'll try to remember in the sentences that follow. Let's seehow motivated I am.

This is our third year of "participating" in Black Friday. The first, I was not prepared. I saw things that would forever change me as a human, and American, a shopper. That poor lady probably still has a scar across her forehead from protecting that pink Leapster that her little brat has probably long outgrown.

Last year, we were a bit more ready for what we were getting into, however, we miscalculated how important Toys-R-Us was to parents and were WAY back in line, left to deal with some 'Us managers who were tired, under-trained, and honestly - idiots. Took us an hour to get in the door, thirty minutes to get what we came for, and probably two to check out in a web of gridlocked over achieving parents. I won't go back to doing that again.

That brings us to year three. Problem this year was - we had no plan. We had already um....."made sure Santa had secured" the prized present this year - Nintendo DSi's. Every present after that is just a wild guess based on several factors including my kids mood, attitude, the price of oil, and a few others. So, as we sit at the dinner table with the family and big newspapers in hand, we have no idea why we would even want to participate. We got the paper out and we all sprawled out on the living room floor.

We spotted a few things at Toys-R-Us that caught our attention. It opens when? 10 P.M. WHAT? Did they consult with the government? How the hell can it be a Black Friday sale if it starts on Thursday??? That's a major breach of shopping etiquette. The other stores should all get together and kick Toys-R-Us's butt. They should follow the unstated rules like everybody else. But, their rudeness was our gain. That just meant that we had to actually HURRY and get there as opposed to sauntering there. And - those who know me know how much I love a good saunter.

We get to "The 'Us" around 8:30 and make it in line somewhere between the PetsMart and Office Depot (aren't all the strip malls basically the same?). We missed the hollowed out Circuit City by about 30 people. About 300th in line. Last year, we were probably 500th in line. It was a bunch colder this year than it was last year. It started out 75 degrees, but by the time we got in line it had dropped to about 40. Apparently, several people in the Killeen area do not own a television or radio or have any common sense because half of them were dressed like they were going to a slutty beach party. We were in line to buy toys. You would have thought we were there to see Lady GaGa. I'd like to dress like that, but I didn't know we were going to the White-Trash Prom. And one big gripe that I probably had last year. Why isn't your baby/4 year old/handicapped mother HOME? It's 40 degrees and late at night. Either get a babysitter or buy your kid the knockoff oriental brand.

Toys-R-Us had learned it's lesson from last year. I'd like to say the manager last year was fired, but more likely he committed suicide on the Saturday after Black Friday. The replacements had it under control. Every once in awhile, they'd come walking by with "tickets" for the big-ticket items. When somebody screams "Mickey Mouse Picnic Table!! I've got 3 left!!!" you think "maybe I DO need a Mickey Picnic table!" They should do that with everything. People would buy it just to keep everybody else in line from having it.

Right at 10 they started letting 25 people in at a time, five minutes apart. Took us about an hour to get to the front. The whole time, it was getting colder and colder. The line had started to wrap around the building. Traffic was horrible. Somebody tried to cut in front of a pickup with their little Kia and the guy in the pickup got pissed. Fingers were shared. High beams were turned on. A truck door opened. I got my camera ready as quick as I could but by the time the power was on - it was over. Once we got inside the building, it was nice and fun. There was no "must have" item that we were looking for, so we walked down the aisles and found the bargains. A drum kit here, a keyboard there. A skateboard with pads, games. The Snoopy Sno-cone machine was on sale. C'mon. My kids have to have a Snoopy sno-cone machine. I had 10 of them growing up. We were done shopping in 30 minutes again.

We found our way to the end of the checkout line, somewhere between baby diapers and Legos. The people in front of me had been there for some time and had two baskets full of crap. I couldn't tell if their kid was 2 years old or 20. They had a little bit of everything. She had a notebook full of graphs and charts. She wasn't just going after bargains. No, she was telling me where the good clearance items were in the store. I can buy clearance items in June lady. I'm here for the thrill of the hunt! She gave me some good stock tips, planned my next vacation, and diagnosed my cough with her handy little notebook while we were in line. She was nice. Just very strange.

The people behind me looked like they were going to a Puerto Rico wedding. The strange thing was, they brought their elderly mother who was in an electronic wheelchair. I have nothing against mothers in wheelchairs - I've got one. But why is she running over my heels complaining that she's cold/tired/hot/mad. She wanted the line to move faster, so her brilliant solution was to run into my butt a thousand times. Like I was going to bum rush the thousand people in front of me and get her out of there. She didn't know how to drive her chair in the first place. The fact that we were crowded into one side of toy aisles was just ten times worse. By the time we got out, I was ready to push her in traffic. No. It wasn't her fault. It was her daughter's fault for letting her come.

We got out around 12:10 or so. Just missed the opening of the REAL Black Friday sales that actually STARTED on Friday. But - we were pretty pleased with our haul of crap. Now, we had to make a decision. We decided to "drive-by" our local Walmart to check out the scene. I was ready to pack it in. We left it up to fate. Wouldn't ya know, as we pulled in, a prime parking spot opened up? We took it as a sign from St. Visa, the shopping God, and went in.

Now Wal-mart in Belton, Texas, is my people. I saw about 10 people I knew. One person recognized me from our newspaper article last Sunday. Apparently, we had purchased too much boy stuff at store number one. So we were there to make amends. I did have one thing I had on my radar for "the family." A set of new pots and pans for the kitchen. Ours were getting nasty. I've gotten used to flakes of no-stick teflon in my ramen noodles, but I wanted a change.

We bought three small toys, some pajamas and clothes for the kids. Checkout was again a challenge so went ahead and got in line. Wouldn't you know it? Sitting right next to the chicklets, somebody had gone and set down exactly what I was too lazy to go look for. The Paula Deen ten piece set! I LOVE Paula Deen! And I'm pretty sure her pans come pre-buttered.

So, we were able to pile on a bit more before closing out and heading home. Got home around 1:30 to relieve grandma and grandpa. Dalton had woken up and found grandpa there. He was told that mommy and daddy went to one of the elf meetings. Dalton was a bit concerned that his behavior over the last few weeks might influence the elves in a negative way. All was well the next morning though.

Oh. And the Paula Deen pots and pans contain no butter. That's just wrong.

Random Thoughts

2010-08-07T19:14:00.000-05:00

Number one recent work frustration - Workers that show up and finish 80% of all the stuff they're supposed to do. Why not just do it all so you don't have to come back? I'll never understand it and it frustrates me to no end. I had a list of ten people today to call and gripe out because they didn't finish their work. I called eight of them. I figured that'd be good enough.

New wife pet peeve - Take the damn lid off the stuff! There's a "peel off" lid that is included with the catchup, mustard, spice bottles, butter, peanut butter, and sour cream. For some reason, my wife doesn't want that to leave the container. She'll peel back a part of it and then put it back. It's confusing when you have a half empty spice jar and nothing is coming out. Then you realize that the "cover" is still intact. Recently, I've made it my mission to get rid of these barriers in my life. Don't know if she's noticed or not.

I have a bad habit. Well....maybe it isn't. When someone is talking to me, more often than not, all I can think about is for them to finish so I can tell a better story. Wait. That's not right. It's usually not a better story. It's usually a lame story. But it's a story I want to tell because, most importantly, it involves me. And those stories are better. Dang. I just tripped on my ego.

It is SO hot down here this week. It's been 103-105 with a heat index of 110-115. I lay on the floor under the ceiling fan with the AC cranked down low and sweat and think "How the hell did people live in this before air conditioning?". Then I think "What the hell is a heat index anyway? If it FEELS like 115 degrees, then it's onn-hundred-and-fifteen damn degrees." I talk to myself a lot.

Since I've had the kids, I've eaten at McDonalds more in the last nine months than I have my whole entire life. Their food is absolutely horrible. All of it. The McChicken for a dollar is the only thing I can eat there without also eating my pride. McDonalds is trying to beat all the other competition like Starbucks (with coffee) and now real fruit smoothies. Why not just go the whole nine yards. I say they start selling McBeer. It would totally change the face of fast food as we know it. That would be one FUN play area, too. They could have adult night at the play area. On second thought - eww.

The best form of parenting is the art of the BRIBE. My kids are incapable of behaving without some kind of carrot at the end of the stick. That carrot could be dessert, candy, lack of punishment. Rarely do they participate in the good behavior game on their own. Come to think of it, my wife can't get me to lift a finger without some sort of bribe, too. She just doesn't see it that way.

Some random mother yelled at my little girl yesterday at McDonalds. She deserved to be yelled at for what she did, but not by THAT biotch. I was all for letting things work themself out. My wife, however, went to protect her bear cub. She forced Bailey to come down off the play area and offer up an apology. It was only ten minutes AFTER the confrontation that we all thought up the best comebacks to say to her. When she screamed "Who do you think you are?!" to Bailey, we decided the best thing for her to say was "I'm Barbie and this is my dreamhouse. Get your kid and get off my property!" It's always 10 minutes too late.

Went to Austin today. Austin is cool - but-
Austin is wierd - I'm not a gay person, but I don't mind them. But the gay people in Austin go out of their way to make you uncomfortable. Just be gay. Don't wear a tiara and fancy fairy wings to the grocery store to make sure everybody can see you and your 400 pounds of gayness. I don't wear a speedo to proclaim my straightness.

My 10 favorite things:

2010-07-31T09:36:00.000-05:00

I've committed to come up with something to blog about this weekend and the writers block is in full force. The idea well is dry. So, I'll go with the only thing that's floating around up there. A list of some of my current favorite things (in no particular order):

1. The first bite - When you're really hungry and you've just sat down in front of one of your favorite meals. That first bite it like the dam breaking and the flavors and memories come flooding in. Recently, it's been the first grape. The first one is always the juiciest and best tasting. Every bite after that is just a little less pleasurable. In just about everything, I've forced myself to appreciate the first bite more.

2. Bailey's laugh - It's hard to get to sometimes, but when I do something that makes her laugh that little girl laugh, it makes my heart melt. She's got the fake polite laugh down pat. That one makes me happy but doesn't make anything melt. I get it when she tells an unintentional joke and she realizes that she made everyone else laugh. I get it when I play one of her hand-slap games with her. I'm sure I'd get it if she got a pony. She's not getting a pony.

3. 8:30 PM - Actually, I dread 8:29 pm. I've been waiting till this time to take the dog for a walk. It's too hot to do it earlier with the kids. So, I wait till the kids are asleep and the sun starts to set. I get some alone time with my dog and my iPod. The neighbors are out. There's usually a breeze. There's no one telling me what to do or where to walk or anything. I end up loving my walks.

4. My iPod touch - It was the only thing I really WANTED for Christmas. But, no way I was getting that. It was pre-kids but we were still saving money. I was able to scrounge up enough that it was buyable. One of my favorite purchases since I bought my first Tivo. Very few things in life live up to expectations. The iPod runs circles around my expectations. I have any song you would want on it. Something like 5000 songs. I have tons of pictures and it's like having a photo album ready and waiting to show whoever ask. I have a couple of movies on there for the kids to watch in those tense moments. I have more than enough games to keep an army occupied. The built in speaker rocks when I'm doing some mundane task at work and can't keep earphones in. I hook it to my car radio and listen to the songs I want to all day. I download podcast and catch up on radio shows I no longer get now that I've gotten rid of my XM Radio. A year later and it's attached to me.

5. Dalton's accomplishments - My son had some issues when he came to us. Still does. Probably always will. But, developmentally, he wasn't up to speed. We've been working non-stop to get him up to speed. His frustration and anger usually delays that progress we're looking for. But, recently, he's getting it. He had to teach himself to do things and now he's learning the right way. The look on his face when he finally "gets it" is the definition of pure pride. Tied his shoe (for real) and did a good job. buttoned all the buttons on his shirt without struggling. Learned to swim. Caught the baseball in the glove. All things that gave him that look. It's enough for me to look past the frustration.

6. My guitar - I've had my guitar for over ten years now. For the past nine, I haven't learned to play it any better than I did back when I first got it. I don't pick it up enough and I've taken my....ahem....natural talent for it as far as it's going to go. I should take lessons. But, I'm comfortable with picking it up when I need to. I'm good enough that I can do what I know I can do. I have my own songs that I can play. It's like an old friend that's there when I need him. My kids think I'm Eddie Van Halen. I'm actually more like Teddy Van Halen, his less-talked-about brother that they don't let out of the room much. But, I love to play it. I love to have my kids sing along.

7. Nickelodeon - This is a love/hate relationship. I get sick of Nickelodeon sometimes. But, they do something that Disney and the other kids TV channels dont - they include jokes for adults. iCarly is a wonderful show and I like every character on it. I want to hang out with the cast. I'd even try to bring my kids with me. Spongebob makes me laugh. There are 10 other shows on there that are pretty entertaining. And, it keeps my kids quiet and still for three to thirty minutes.

8. Texas country music - Blame my recent love affair with my favorite kind of music on two things. My iPod and the free concerts they're running this summer with all my favorite musicians. I feel like I've been let in on a secret that few people know about. I'm lucky that I like the music that is local. I like it more than any other genre of music. So much so that I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that everybody doesn't like it.

9. Watching my dad with my kids - We're lucky to have my dad with us today. I didn't know if he'd get to see his grandkids at all. I enjoy his joy of watching the kids. I enjoy his joy of watching Lori and I with the kids. It really has been a gift when we're all together. The same is true with my mother and Lori's parents. But, the time with my dad is bonus time.

10. Sudoku - I don't want to love it anymore. But I can't stop it. Somebody make me stop it.

School for Parents

2010-07-05T22:13:00.001-05:00

I've had a wonderful weekend with my kids. July 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays because it was always around ALL my family. To experience it with my own kids was awesome. But, I'm tired. It's tiring doing things with the kids. I knew it would be, but nobody ever warned me about a lot of things that I think I had the right to know about before I became a parent.

Then I realized, no new parent knows. They just kind of learn along with their kids and before long, they don't even know they know it. Well....I have a million dollar idea to change that: The University of REAL Parenting. It's going to be great. I have a whole set of classes just waiting to be taken.

How to Open Childrens Toys

When I was a kid, it was all about how to put the toys together. My father would stay up all night to put that bike together, that game together......not anymore. Everything is done for you these days. Cheaply, but already assembled in most cases. However, now it's the PACKAGING that is the real challenge. Expert parents describe the panic and fear that they faced the first time their five year old demanded that they play with their Barbie NOW while the parent tried to figure out how to get the miriad of twist ties off of Barbie's legs and off of the cardboard backing. Techniques in cutting the plastic casings so that the toy is not ruined before it even leaves the box are explored in the advanced classes. A masters program will be offered in how to save every little scrap of the packaging in case the item ever needed to be returned for a refund.

Always Have a Little Screwdriver for Battery Compartments

No more lost battery compartment covers like when we were kids and duct tape helped hold the batteries in place. There are little screws that help parents remember not to lose those covers. The importance of having the right sized screwdriver so that when the batteries go out your seven year old won't commit a third degree felony on the toy is the main topic of this course. Advanced courses discuss the importance of always having the right sized batteries at any given moment. The masters program focuses on how to change the batteries of a Leapster 2 game while driving, on the phone, and breaking up a fight in the back seat.

Buying Tickets With your Six Year Old In Mind

On the surface, buying tickets to a movie, play, circus, concert, or sporting even might seem like a simple task. Most new parents who want to please their child try to get the best possible seat so that the event is the most enjoyable. However, what any parent who has been through this even once can tell - this is a falsehood of epic proportions. The importance of BATHROOM LOCATION will be discussed for the majority of this course. Advanced classes focus on bathroom breaks and the intervals at which these must be taken in relation to A) Concession Stand visits B) Size of soda purchased C) When the most important/interesting/special moment of the event is going to happen as to not miss it by standing in line for the bathroom. The masters program will delve into how to position yourself so that your seating allows for minimal inconvenience of the people around you.

Six Year Old Negotiations

Once the new parent has successfully completed their law degree from an Ivy League University, they will be allowed to take this introductory course in negotiating with a six-year-old. Techniques such as remembering exactly what was said three months ago so that "But you said..." can be rendered useless will be discussed. Dealing with difficult situations such as "That's Not Fair," "I don't like that food this time," "Last time you let me," and the dreaded "but pleassssse?" are dealt with in an unemotional process. There is no Masters program for this subject. If anyone is able to actually pass this course, you get the Masters degree for free!

How to Turn a 5 Minute Game into a 2 Hour Time Waster

There is nothing scarier to a seasoned parent than a rainy Saturday morning with nothing planned for the day. How to fill THAT many hours? This course will teach you 1001 ways to keep a 6 year old occupied with a deck of playing cards, a rubber band, and a stick. Parents that pass this class are eligable to participate in teaching the "How to Survive a Wolf Attack" class.

Don't Listen to the Experts - The TV is the Best Babysitter

Many new parents who have taken parenting classes have been told for years not to just put their kids in front of the TV and let the television do the parenting for them. At The University of Real Parenting, we challenge that belief system. The simple fact is, the people that program childrens television are probably pretty good people. Spongebob must have some educational value. iCarlie seems to be a good show. As kids, we had to look past questionable TV role models such as Peppermint Patty and Marcie (why did she call her Sir?), Bert and Ernie, and H.R. Puffinstuff. What harm could todays programming do to our kids? Let the TV executives who spend millions on focus groups and marketing do their job. You owe it to your kids.

The Art of Never Answering "Why?"

This simple word has caused nervous breakdowns in parents for years. This class will focus on the simple task of NEVER answering the question of WHY. "Can I have a cookie? No. Why?" The end. Common mistakes of "Because I said So" and actually trying to reason with the child through a useless game of logic and understanding are dissected. By simply making it policy, parents have been able to actually enjoy their lives again.

Ending A Fit Without Bloodshed

The University of Real Parenting is still searching for a suitable professor for this position.

Random Thoughts

2010-06-11T20:50:00.003-05:00

Damn. It's been a long time. I need to kick start this off again. Some of these I've probably heard from someone else....but I'm typing them in anyway:

I just emptied the dishwasher. We had 17 different kid of glasses and cups. In my heaven, there will only be small cups and large cups. All stackable. There is no need for a different cup every time. But, I'm sure in heaven, I'll have a naked angel girl do my dishes.

When I'm driving and I see a pedestrian, I hate them. When I'm a pedestrain, I hate drivers. But no matter what I'm doing, I always hate people on bikes. Always.

I just started watching Glee. It's pretty good. But, I'm worried that they're all really dead and the series final episode will explain that they all died in a high school shooting and Glee club is really a metaphor for heaven. And that will piss me off.

If I ever went back in the past 50 years and could take one item with me to show how cool the future is going to be, it would be my iPod Touch. Shoot. Somebody showed me one a month ago and I thought THEY were from the future......and I OWN one.

Speaking of the past. If I felt the way I feel on a GOOD day now when I was 15 years old, I'd ask to go to the doctor and stay home from school. I remember when I could fall off a roof and get right back up. If I did that today, I'd envoke the DNR request even though I'd probably still be awake.

Laura Bell Bundy is to country music what O-Town was to pop music. Extremely unnecessary and cheesy. It's seriously embarrassing to watch her "sing" her song and know that I'm from the South. Giddie on up....Shuttie on up. She's like Britney Spears with no talent. She's doing choreography on the same stages where Johnny Cash punched a guy. There should be no choreography in country music. Seriously.

I'm not sure how people grocery shopped before plastic bags. I would rather carry 50 of them at once than make 2 trips to the car. And screw you if you look down on me for not being "green". I'm done faster. That saves energy. Or something like that.

I took my kids to see IronMan2 (so my wife could go see Sex and the City 2). I thought my son would enjoy it and I guess he kinda did. But he must have asked "What just happened?" about a thousand times. He was more worried what the name of the bird was.

Spongebob is the most genius cartoon of all time. Why? Because there are no commercial interruptions from the beginning of one episode to the end of another. I could care less about plot, story, etc. It keeps my kids still for 11 minutes at one time.

I think I'd watch iCarly even if I didn't have kids. It's funny and I like every character. And, I'm pretty sure my interest in Sam (Carly's sidekick) borers on creepy with criminal a few exits down. But hey - I liked Kristie McNichol when I was a kid. So that should explain it.

I don't text in my car while driving. I play iPod video games. It helps me focus.

The World Cup is starting today. I was all excited to watch it because it's the biggest sporting event in the world and it only happens once every four years. Did you know it's soccer? Screw that.

Gary Coleman died and I read that they just found Will #3. I say they just give it all to Willis and call it a day.

I watched a commercial today for the Snuggie. What a stupid idea. I wanted to change the channel but I ended up watching the whole thing. I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold.

My son stinks at Rock/Paper/Scissors. He loves rocks. And we all know it. It's hard not to be a paper person when you know that.

A friend of mine is going to jury duty on Monday. I gave her my best advice I've ever given anyone. Preface ever question with "According to the prophecy......."

It's getting late. I'm getting tired. But honestly, I can't remember the last time I was ever not just a little bit tired.

Christmas Stream of Thought

2009-12-26T22:25:00.003-06:00

Ahhh....10:25 PM. The first chance I've had since I woke up this morning to sit and just reflect. I've got crayons in the crayon maker (like an Easy-Bake oven for crayolas to make new ones) because somehow, my kids think I promised to make them their own crayons by morning. Whatever. I get to play with one of their toys tonight. I ain't complaining.

I'm forty years old and this is the first year of my lifetime that I didn't celebrate Christmas under the tree with my parents. But - you know what - I never had a better offer until this year. Dalton and Bailey have made things a bunch different around here. Christmas was as rewarding as any Hallmark card or Norman Rockwell painting could have painted it. It was harder than that - but just as satisfying.

Wednesday night, I got the party started by mixing up all the dough for sugar cookies. The kids were wired for speed. But the threat of Santa Claus coming seemed to temper things just a bit (I hope). Thursday, I got off work early and the bake-a-palooza began. I made sugar cookies, cheese crispers, sausage balls, and a couple other kinds of cookies. The kids impatiently waited for everything to be done because all they cared about was decorating them......

In the middle of it all, an unexpected and AMAZING thing happened. It snowed! It snows so rarely down here, and even more rarely for the kids. I was hoping that there could have been some that stuck. there was enough to make two small snowballs.....my kids didn't get it. Any snow to them is a blizzard. Still....it was a magical thing to happen on our first Christmas Eve together. Cookies were decorated. Fudge was made. Quiet time on the couch watching bits of Home Alone, A Christmas Story, and every other show we could find.

Overall, the kids were as behaved as I think they ever have been. They colored and played quietly on their own. Just to type the words makes me gasp in amazement. It's been a long four months to get to that point. Getting them to GO to their room has been a challenge. To have them willingly go there without a fight is an accomplishment. The fact that they were playing there without a newsworthy event was a Christmas miracle. Our biggest challenge has been bedtime. It was the first and only time they willingly went to bed. Dalton was especially adorable with his excitement. I hope I remember that look and that evening many years from now. I think I will.

Around 10:30, Santa stopped by and delivered the presents. I wrapped the couple of small things I got for Lori. Savored the quiet to myself for an hour or so.

Saturday morning, I beat the kids up out of bed(unusual accomplishement). I was able to get the kids from their room to ours without them gawking at the tree. We patiently waiting for Sant.....errr...Lori's parents to make the 5 mile trip over to our house. Once they arrived, we opened present calmly and excitedly. They each had ten gifts and there were eight "group" gifts. The kids even let mom and dad open a few and were actually interested in what they got.

Just before they were finished opening presents, Dalton realized there wasn't a scooter yet. He asked if it was because he wasn't a good boy. "I don't know. We'll have to find out from Santa." He was o.k. with that answer. I had them pack up all the trash and take it out to the garage to the trashcan. That was a neat moment. When they realized that they were pretty good kids after all. They were SUPER excited to get on them. It was still a little dark out and we had to wait. We went back in and had piggies in a blanket and cinnamon rolls.

Here's what I learned on Christmas morning:
Worst Gifts My Kids Got on Christmas:
1. Walkie Talkies - What was I THINKING?? I have now given my kids the ability to fight with each other from separate rooms.
2. Velcro Ball "dart" boards - It was a good idea at the time. One ball is lost, the other has been thrown at every family member. They didn't last long.
3. Light Saber - "This is not something to hit your sister with!" That lasted all of an hour before tears were shed. Just not ready.

Best Gifts My Kids Got on Christmas:
1. MP3 Players. In fact, ANYTHING with headphones! They put the headphones on, listen to whatever song they want without fighting about who likes what and they dance and sing and act cute. We weren't expecting them to take to them so much.
2. Leapsters. I have to say I was really worried that my kids would think they were too "easy." They've never had a video game though - so they're just happy to push buttons. I'm so impressed with how much they've learned in three days. My little girl knows more spanish (Dora game) than I do. I actually heard her say "Dang it! I KNEW it was an S" when she was trying to spell the plural of a word. Dalton has a Dinosaur game. Leapster has added "secret codes" that the kids can get if they get to the next level. I take the codes onto the internet and they get "prizes." So far a dinosaur coloring page and a Piston Cup cut out. It's keeping them interested in the game. Way to go Leapster! Oh - one final bonus - HEADPHONES!
3. DVD player for the car with dual screens. The DVD player with a MP3/Leapster combo has made driving our vehicle so much more......fun?......quiet?......satisfying. I think that's the word. No fights, no "Daddy LOOK", no "STOP LOOKING AT ME". Oh.....and HEADPHONES.

We actually went to big lots and bought six more sets ($4 a piece). I'll never run out without having backup headphones.

We played, eventually got on our scooters. There were a couple of spills. I need a butt-pad for Dalton. Bailey stops by running into the curb and flying over the handlebars into the grass. She thinks it's quite fun. Daddy is looking for alternatives. We played until 2 and then went over to MeMaw's and PePaws.

It was true my whole life - Christmas at my parents was like Santa's dumping ground. We hit the jackpot every year. Now it is for my niece and nephew. We went over to see what they scored. The big score was the trampoline. My kids had a blast. They got another big score of Barbies, Littlest Pet Shop, and Hot Wheels Cars. One thing my brother, SIL, and mom and dad did well was got my kids storage. Hot Wheels Storage. Purses. Very cool for mom and dad.

My brother started a new tradition about four years ago that has become my favorite tradition of all. I had forgotten about it with all the hubbub this year. We tired of the traditional turkey and dressing dinner. He works so hard at making Thanksgiving such a big deal that it almost becomes boring on Christmas. SO - we go Cajun Seafood! We all love seafood (the kids don't - but we're done with them by Christmas evening). Crawfish etouffee, grilled talapia, boudin, shrimp as big as a fist ("I'm not a shrimp - I'm a KING PRAWN"), hush puppies. And it rocked. ROCKED. I brought home leftovers and I'll eat them for the next 4 days.

I'm going to end my perfect Christmas story there. Because on the way home, the perfection wore off. Saturday and beyond has been a mess. But, with that much distraction, it's expected.

It was a Christmas I'll never forget.

2009-12-18T14:57:00.001-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Black Friday 2009 - The Return

2009-11-27T07:17:00.009-06:00

My special Black Friday uniform. I was trying to let the people in front of me know that they should move to the back of the line to get better service. Nobody moved.

Last year I witnessed my first real taste of Black Friday. It was an innocent 5 am trip to WalMart to get a $5 Barbie doll on our way to Circuit City. What my wife and I saw changed us forever. We were both a little less innocent from that day forward.

Fast forward a year later. This year, we have actual kids to buy for. Not just me saying that I have kids - really buying toys for myself. We decided we were going to take this seriously this year. I started doing my research two weeks ago. Turns out the ads appear online weeks ahead of time if you really look. By Monday, I had a good healthy list of stores we could go to. We modified it throughout the week.

After Thanksgiving dinner, my wife and I sat down and made sure we had a gameplan. We mapped it out. First up - ToysRUs at midnight. Second - Target at 5 am. Then - Staples, Office Depot, or Office Max for one last purchase.

The timeline:
11:00 pm - Lori's parents arrived at our abode to "babysit" our kids. The kids were dead asleep after a rockus day at meemaw and peepaws. A bomb could have gone off and those kids wouldn't have woken up. But, just in case, they were standing by. The plan was to tell them that mom and dad were having a meeting with Santa Claus. Dalton wasn't very good going to bed. That would have scared the bajeezus out of the poor kid. I was leaving prepared this time. Armed with a camera, "5 Hour Energy", and a pretty impressive shopping list, Lori and I made the 20 minute trip to downtown Killeen to hit ToysRUs at midnight. Plenty of time. On the way, we stopped and heckled the poor kids at Best Buy. They had been on television earlier. They'd been sitting out since Wednesday. I wanted to know what they were buying....so I asked. I wanted to ask if they had real jobs (or real familes....I already knew they didn't have real girlfriends) but we decided to head to the 'Us.

11:30 - We pulled around the corner and our stomach's sunk. The line was loooooong. It stretched around the building. I'd say there were 500-700 people in front of us. The good news was once the place opened, there were 500-700 people behind us, too. There were people in shorts and flip flops (it was 38 degrees). There were people there with their kids. There was one lady right in front of us that had a newborn. Before the line started moving, we noticed flashing lights the mile or so ahead (at the front door). We heard through the grapevine that it was like cutters. At that moment, I didn't care about drugs or gun crime. Arrest those line-cutting SOB's! I was COLD and Lori was starting to get grumpy. I kept the crowd cheerful with my tired wit and dry judgmental humor (Everybody in front of us is going to ToysRUs. Everybody behind us is going to ToysRThem......Is this the line for the Sarah Palin book signing?......Is this the line for Academy?.........The manager just told me that Taylor Swift is doing a surprise concert inside.) There were one or two people that didn't take my jokes the right way and got a little offended. If you decide to bring a newborn baby to stand in line in the 38 degree weather for an hour, then you deserve to be made fun of. And we just told her to go sit in the car and we'd let her back in line so the baby would stay warm. Most of the people around us had a good time.

12:45 - We're at the door! We had decided at that point that with all the people in front of us who had raped the shelves, we should just grab anything pink or blue and be happy with it. Our shopping list was detailed and plentiful with exact sale items. Once we got in, we instantly found the one "must have" item for us - Leapsters. Only green - no pinks left. Oh well....two green ones it is. We had other items on our list - some we nailed, some we missed. Once we decided we had scavenged all we could scavenge, we decided to find the end of the line. But - that was easier said than done. We quickly discovered that the captain of the ToysRUs ship was for ages 5-7 like the Leapster we were purchasing. There was a gridlock of baskets, rednecks, and white trash that were quickly growing angry and tired of the manager's directions. It was a mess. It took over an hour to get through the checkout line. And, that was with a little luck. Somehow, we ended up spending $178. But - the impressive stat is that we saved $143 dollars.

2:30 - Lori and I get back in the car with our new treasure. Our ankles a little sore. Our knees a little weak. My Five Hour Energy drink has kicked in full force. Lori, on the other hand, is fading fast. We get home around 2:50 and relieve the babysitters. They look at us with the pity and confusion of only two parents of 80's children can look. There was Black Friday in their day - but they didn't participate. And if they did, it wasn't at 3 am. I took a bathroom break, stocked up on supplies, got my ad's for Target and etc and hit the road again. This time solo.

3:30 - I pull up at the Temple Target and find that I'm in pretty good position. I'm about 30th at that point with an hour and a half wait until the doors open. The crowd is much more subdued (as any 3:30 am crowd should be). Pleasant, but honestly a lot more boring. I couldn't be friends with these people in real life. They snickered at some of my jokes ("Lets all rush across the parking lot and kick the butts of those Best Buy wussies") but I was tired and they weren't listening as much. I took a seat on the concrete and did my best not to drool on the shoes of the person in front of me. I took my second hit of 5 Hour Energy around 4:30 am. My list was a lot more serious this time. It consisted of the stuff I was not able to get at ToysRUs (Razor scooters, board games, Bakugan) and some stuff I was specifically there for (Leapster games, DVD car player). I checked the line before entering the store and saw that it was as impressive as the ToysRUs line earlier in the evening. Just the boost I needed to keep me motivated and my eye on the prizes.

4:59 AM - The staff at Target was awesomely friendly and helpful. Nothing like the dee-dee-dee's at ToysRUs (who looked as if the crowd in front of them was just a big game of russian roulette). They gave us neat little nylon shopping bags, maps of the store, helped the clueless on where to go once they entered the store. There were enough employees that it seemed like if there wasn't someone hovering over me, I could find someone if I just turned around. I got my Razor scooters to complete my "must have" list for the night. Got my Bakugan set, Uno cards, Candy Land game, Magnadoodle Pro, DVD, a little somethin' somethin' for myself, and then finished up with a butt load of Leapster games. Enough that I can give them games for Christmas and then another for their birthdays soon after Christmas. The DVD player for the car might even be an after Christmas/birthday gift. Looking at my list, the only thing we had as a "must have" that we couldn't find is karaoke microphones. At Target, we bought some big ticket tiems. Spent - $277. Saved $171 plus a $10 gift card (so $181). Impressed with my big bad self, I headed to my last destination.

5:30 am - I stuck my loot in the back of the truck and walked two stores down to Office Max. There were only three people in line. A kid who obviously had no friends away from his computer screen and two nerdy old men. I sat and listened to the nerdy geezers talk about how they had camped out at Best Buy since Wednesday to get a laptop computer that was awesome (but without Blu-ray, a camera, less memory than they would like....but other than that.....). As tired as I was becoming, it was rather relaxing. I was just here to get a wireless printer for my wife and I. If I didn't, no big deal. But the one we wanted was on sale for half price and is supposed to be awesome. Thirty minutes and we're done.

5:50 - Still listening to the old men impress each other with their computer conquest. But, I heard one of them say something about 7 am. 7 am? What happens then? Office Max opens at 7? No way....it must be 6 am. Everything opens at 6 am. Loner Everquest dude chimes in that the ad in the paper says 7. Screw that. I have TEN MINUTES to make it to Staples. It's 15 minutes away......but I'm in the zone......

5:59 am - I screech into the parking lot at Staples and walk up to the line of about 30 people about the time the doors open. I find exactly what I'm looking for. Looks like there is one left. I grab what I need. Cost - $162. Save - $150. In and out in 4 minutes.

6:23 am - I pass by Shipley's donuts and decide that donuts are a good thing after a night of no-sleep shopping. I grab a dozen and head to the house.

6:40 am - Home. Complete. I sneak the Target warez into the closet and hide them, update Lori on my antics and hijinxs, and sit at the computer to decompress. Thirty seconds after sitting down, my little boy is up and comes in to give me a hug. He has no idea I ever left the house. Except now there is a big printer box in the middle of the floor. Five minutes later his sister is up pestering the dog.

7 hours and 40 minutes of activity and it's over. We need more stuff for Bailey. Dalton is easy to buy for. He likes everything. Bailey - notsomuch. She's hard to buy for. She likes Dalton's stuff. But, if it was over today, our kids are more than taken care of.

I'm 20 minutes from my second round of Five Hour Energy wearing off.

Total Stats:
$617 Spent
$474 Saved
$1091 worth of crap purchased

Random Thoughts

2009-11-21T22:24:00.003-06:00

It's been awhile. I have a couple of good excuses for not writing. Their names are Dalton and Bailey. They go to bed at 8 so I should have time to myself in the evenings....you'd think, huh? I have several random thoughts I thought I'd jot down.

Watching SNL right now. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the host. He looks like he's uber-talented. That's my way of saying that he's a lousy SNL host. I think if I met him, I'd want to punch him in the face. But I bet other actors love him.

If I were 12, I'd have the HUGEST crush on Jennette McCurdy (Sam on iCarly). She's this generation's Kristy McNichol.

Nothing bores me more this year in sports than watching SEC football.

I'd love to keep a blog of unusual, strange, and cute things my kids say. They say so much I could fill a book. By the time I find a pen or get to the computer, I can't remember what it is. Sucks.

The more I watch the Mentalist, the more I love it. I don't think I love it as much as I loved Heroes the first year it came out....but it's the only TV show I make time to watch now.

In regards to the Jon and Kate situation - I'm waiting for the older kid to get into porn and write a book to figure out which parent screwed up that family. Oh wait. She'll be in porn. Never mind. They both did.

I don't mind the cold. I hate the wind when it's cold. I don't mind the rain. I hate the mud after the rain. I don't mind the sun. I hate the sunburn.

I'm watching the Dave Matthews Band on SNL now with closed captioning on. What language is he singing in. Because thats not english on the screen.

I am still addicted to watching UFC and i can't figure out why. I don't like boxing. But, I watched. I just watched Forrest Griffin beat up Tito Ortiz. Tito lost - but he's married to Jenna Jameson. So - does he really lose?

Last year was my first adventure into Black Friday. Now, having two kids, I'm getting ready to put on the gloves and get serious. ToyRUs, Walmart, Target, and Office Depot. We have a plan. Plan B involves violence and duct tape, but we're hoping it doesn't get that far now, aren't we? (And i'm gonna take my camera. I'm buying one too)

Speaking of Black Friday, here's the list of things we want to get:
-Scooters for the kids (they aren't ready for bikes, but they're too big for trikes). We want this to be their "big gift"
-A Karaoke machine or karaoke microphones. The kids love to scream
-If it works out at ToysRUs, Leapster 2's are in the kids future.
-The software is on sale at Target.
-Magnadoodles
-Bakugan - I don't understand it. I don't want to.
For me:
- A digital camera. I've researched until my eyes bleed, and I haven't figured out what I want. Well....that's not true - what I want, I can't afford. I haven't decided what I'd settle for.
-A wireless printer.
-SD cards for storage
-An iPod touch.
I'm not getting my iPod touch - it's just not in the budget. The printer and cameras I want are on sale at Office Depot. Who woulda thought. I'm a Best Buy guy. Best buy deals suck this year.

My little girl cracks me up. She makes up words....or rather invents words.
She likes to mix ranch dressing and catchup for her chicken nuggets - "Ranch-up"
Today we saw a broken entertainment center on the side of the road - "Freeniture"
She just told me that she burped and farted at the same time. - "Farped"

(the day after I started this blog post)
I bought a camera today. I researched for 3 weeks. When I got to the store, I cheaped out and got the cheapest one that I liked instead of the one I know I wanted. Now that I have it home and charged up, I'm trying to talk myself into liking it. I don't like it. I've got to find a way to return it and get the one I want. I'm an idiot sometimes and I HATE returning stuff.

Inglourious Basterds

2009-08-24T17:45:00.002-05:00

My wife and I took some time out of our busy weekend schedule to see the new Terrintino film, Inglourious Basterds. I'm a Terrintino fan. My wife is a Brad Pitt fan. It was a no brainer. We try to go to the first showing on a Sunday when we can. We hiked the 20 miles to Harker Heights to the "fancy" movie theater, got there early, got our popcorn, and settled in for a fun movie.

But first - I have a gripe. It almost kept us from seeing the movie. The Basterds is a strong R rated movie. Much gore and violence....but still a pretty funny movie at the same time. The movie was supposed to start at 12:15. At 12:40, the movie finally started - WHY? Because of the GROSS amount of movie previews. Now, don't get me wrong. I love movie previews. But they've started to "target market" and show the appropriate previews for the movie that's playing. So, every one of the previews we saw was an R rated violent movie. There were TWELVE of them. Most were about the end of the world. Most were gross, scary, or just downright depressing. The last one was was for Halloween 2 and scared the crap out of everybody in the movie theater. By the time the movie started, I wanted to slit my wrist and get it over with. I mean, according to three of the movies, the world is going to end any minute now and only a few of us will survive and then we'll hunt each other down. Lori almost walked out. I was really nervous that she would. She was in such a bad mood when the movie started that I thought it had been ruined for her.

Anyway - back to the movie. It was classic Terrintino. The first Chapter was a long, drawn out dialog with a french farmer and a Nazi nicknamed "The Jew Hunter" played by Cristoph Waltz. Last summer, when I saw Heath Ledger play the joker, I knew I had just seen the best supporting actor. I think I just saw it again. Any comparasons to Hannible Lecter are justified. He was a psyco.
But the Basterds were good fun. Every single line Brad Pitt spoke was greatness. He nailed the part. Dare I say his was my favorite Terrintino character of all time.....and that's saying something. Waltz's character was the most evil, but I wouldn't mind at all if someone did a backstory movie on how Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) got to be where he was. He had a scar across his throat that was never explained. The rest of the basterds were entertaining, but not nearly in the movie enough.

The movie had everything you want from a Quintin movie - a mexican standoff, one of the main characters dies in early in the movie (don't worry....I didn't give anything away), and the narration and music is cheesy and cool all at the same time. No scene is rushed and the dialog carries on for longer than any other director has the nerve to talk. Each scene is a movie in itself.

There are actually two stories going on at the same time, both clashing in the movie theater at the climax. The story that did not involve the basterds was pretty entertaining, but not nearly as much. But, it did help to make a very satisfying payoff at the climax to the movie.

.......and everything that happens after the climatic scene is wonderfully pleasing as well. It may not be the BEST Terrintino movie (I love Kill Bill 1 and Pulp Fiction is realy good too). It may not be the BEST World War 2 movie (Saving Private Ryan, and my indulgent favorite "1942" hold a special spot). But, it was amazingly entertaining. I'm not really a Brad Pitt groupie, but I'd see another movie with his character in it anytime.

.......just lay off some of the previews.

Use What You Have

2009-08-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

A cake pan. Bleach. Duct tape. Rubber tubing. A leaf blower.

Here's the story.

Finally settled down in my chair to rest. Worked all morning, then rescued my parents with a dead car battery, took my wife to Target, took my truck to get washed, quick lunch.....now resting until we go to Salado (Stagecoach Inn) for my MIL's 70th birthday celebration (calm down...I'm not that excited).

My wife and I hear a sound we'd rather not hear. Drip drip drip. It's coming from underneath our AC unit. Why do these things always have to happen on a SATURDAY when every person I could call to fix it for me is knee-deep in nowhere near me? Worst possible time for our AC to be shut off. This has happened before and it SOAKED my carpet. It took me days to convince my wife not to replace it until I did every construction trick I knew. I was able to escape without $4000 of new carpet. I got smart and put a metal cake pan underneath the area that leaked last time so that if it started dripping again, I'd be able to hear it. Thank God we were home and we DID hear it (monumental victory #1 - I'll be using the "I told you so" for years and years on that one!).

So....the AC company that installed this when the house was built did it.....unusually? no......differently? no......wrong? Yeah. Wrong. The condensation line goes directly into my slab and then comes out underground. For it to drain, it has to go uphill. Water doesn't run uphill very well. But, my bad for assuming that they knew what they were doing 3 years ago. I know better. Of course it showed up 2 months after my 2 year warranty was up. So, I hired MY A/C company to do their best to fix it. Put in a p-trap (you don't need to know if you don't already), fixed some stuff out in the yard...but I still suspected it might show up. So....when today's "drip drip drip" started, I went into action.

Problem is, I don't keep a lot of tools that normal people have. I'm a builder - I hire people that have those tools so I don't have to have them. But, this needed immediate attention. I found a piece of rubber tubing that I had left-over from an ancient hobby I briefly had of making little fountains. I have a habit of collecting hobbies. I have tons of stuff I save that I'll never use in a million years. Most gets sold at garage sales, given to Good-will, or just thrown away by the powers that sweep through the house every now and then. Luckily, this looked work related, so it got stored in a box. I used it to stuff it down the pipe to see if I could see what was blocking the pipe. I pulled out a little bit of slime. I could already hear my wife in the background mumbling things like "Maybe we should call............Do you want my dad to........Are we going to need new carpet?..........So that's where my cake pan went to.........I'm hot......."

So....I knew what had to be done. First, I poured as much bleach as I could to kill any mold/mildew. Most of it poured out into my cake pan. I was proud of my pan once again. My big problem was I knew that I had to "blow out" the pipe. That was the only way to reach the slime. My neighbor has a compressor....but my neighbor likes to talk and show me stuff and have me help him move big piles of nothing. That was going to be my LAST resort. I needed something else. Something more "clever."

I searched the garage over. Duct tape! I grabbed it, not sure what I was going to use it for. But I knew that it fixes everything. Digging through, finally it hit me. I have a leaf blower that I never use because my in-laws cut the flex-pipe off short. Because I'm tall, it's useless to me. A short stubby person can control it quite well I imagine. I had it figured out.

Wrapped the duct tape around the end and created a tube and taped the other end to the pipe. Turned it on and ran around to the outside of the house. It looked like my condensation pipe just awoke from a hangover and a mass of slime popped out of the hole. Disgusting, but sweet all at the same time. I did it! I saved myself $150, I get to sit in the AC for a little while longer, and I get the satisfaction of telling my wife "JUST LET ME DO IT" for a few more weeks.

Bring on the in-laws! I can fix anything!

Gay Marriage/Adoption

2009-07-26T10:12:00.002-05:00

Sitting here on an innocent Sunday afternoon and my wife played back a show she tapes called 30 Days. It's done by the same guy that did SuperSize Me and she loves him. I think it's a lot of propaganda and I don't watch much of it. The host - Spurlock is his name I think - has his beliefs and I don't think he "documents" it as much as he spins it to his way of thinking. If I agree with his opinion, I'm entertained. If I don't, I get angry. This morning's show however, I DID agree with the spin, yet it made me angry at the same time. So much so, I need to write about it. What better time for a blog post.

Today's episode was about gays and lesbians being allowed to adopt. There was a gay couple with four adopted boys who had a guest. She was a mormon who was very set in her moral beliefs that gays and lesbians should not be allowed to marry or adopt. Her core arguement was that having kids in a gay family would help to "train" them that it's o.k. to be gay and that such issues should be shielded from children at all cost.

The show made her go into situations where she was confronted left and right by gays and lesbians that were compassionate and understanding of her beliefs and many more who were confrontational and downright angry that she wouldn't change her mind on the spot. She kept telling the gays that it wasn't personal and they fired back that it sure the hell WAS personal when she fought to pass laws to prevent them to adopt (and marry....but that issue was put on the back burner). To her credit, she did not throw religion in their face. She simply stood firm in her beliefs.

The most emotional part was when she talked to two kids that had "aged out" of the foster system. They explained that they'd rather be raised by aliens than live in the situation they grew up in. They showed her the group home and the neighborhoods they grew up in. It was heartbreaking.

That's when I got angry. This compassionate woman totally understood the issue. But, her belief that being gay is "wrong" outweighs the reality that kids need to be adopted. She met this gay family that was better than 95% of all families on the planet, yet she thought the kids should go somewhere else because they slept together. She was offended when the gay dad told her he didn't think they would stay friends off the show because his friends support him and he didn't think she could. She thought that if she suupported him, that meant that he wasn't supporting her beliefs. She had several emotional breakdowns when she hit that "wall" of questions that her religious upbringing wouldn't let her question.

I have more than a few friends and especially family that are just like this woman. Compassionate, loving, caring, and understanding. Yet, when an issue comes up that questions a belief that they've had since they were little - there is no room for the question. The answer is "God's will" or "the bible says" or "that's just my opinion and we are never to speak of it again." It frustrates me more than anything else in life.

In school, I was an outstanding student. My biggest flaw, according to my progress reports, was "doesn't ask enough questions." So, over time, I learned how to ask questions. I learned to challenge authority respectfully when I needed to. I was forced to learn this. As an adult, I have questioned many of the things I learned when I was five, including religion. I am accepting that people have religious beliefs that are the basis of who they are. But, and this is the reason shows (and opinions) like this make me SO angry - When presented with a problem that directly conflicts with your moral beliefs, why does the wall go up? It happens with friends, relatives, members of my family......uggg!

Kids need families. Period. You had two kids stand there and show you the suffering in the world. Sure - there are some gay people that have no business adopting. But, there are millions more straight families that have no business being parents. It's not a gay/straight debate. It's an asshole/good person debate. She kept saying kids needed a mother and father. What about the kids that are being raised by one parent? Should kids be taken away from single parents, too? She couldn't separate her moral beliefs from the problems she faced.

I'm not FOR gay or lesbian marriage or adoption, but I'm DAMN SURE not against it. I'm for kids being raised by loving families. I get angry that the religious and political right fights so hard to keep gays from having the same rights as I do. I don't know how gay marriage and adoption affects me. Actually, I DO know, and I'm o.k. with it. Gay marriage compromises the tradional institution of marriage. Forget that straight couples have ruined that instituion many many years ago. Gay adoption is going to breed more gay kids. I believe that for almost all gay people, it's not something you learn or choose (I think some do choose it....but they are just confused idiots who could decide on what to eat for dinner either). I'm not gay, so it's not something I can begin to JUDGE people on. I am adopting, so I do think I have some say if I think gays should be able to adopt. Bottom line is, if a kid I was "in the running for" was instead adopted by a gay family, I'm going to bet that their situation was better suited for that kid.

And in the end, that's what this lady couldn't see. It's about the kids and what's best for them. If the whole world turned gay and every kid was happy, I'd worship Richard Simmons instead.

What Did You Do Saturday Night?

2009-07-12T10:36:00.012-05:00

We didn't have big plans this weekend. My wife has been without a job for some time and our recreational plans have been "scaled back" some over the last month or so. We've gone to a movie or two. We've changed our out-to-eat habits from steak and seafood to burgers and fries. We are being more selective on what we spend our recreational dollars on.

So....when this weekend approached with nothing on the radar, my wife tries to find stuff that will keep me occupied. Inner Space Caverns isn't far away. I've bugged her to go for some time. I enjoyed it when I was a kid. But, we found out tickets were $18 a person. If there were rides in the cave or live music or a stripper pole, it might be worth $18 a person, but that would be about an hour and we'd be out $36 with only stalactite memories to show for it. The cave will be there when we have more money to waste.

So....just when it appeared it would be another evening with our beloved high definition television, I started looking at fun things to do in the area once we get a kid. Trust me - there ain't much. One thing that popped into my mind was Summer Fun Water Park. When I was a kid, it was a swimming pool called Riverside. It was originally built in 1920 and was an "old school" swimming pool. Same pool my mom and aunts and uncles went to as kids. My brother and I went ALLLL the time growing up. I remember the water was ICE COLD and it took 30 minutes just to get my dingle dangles below sea level. There was a high dive....but the pool was only seven foot deep. My brother chipped his tooth on the bottom once. My childhood memories of the place are AWESOME. Then, in 1988 - they closed it and built this thing they call a water park. I have never been back. But, I decided to see what the prices were for when we had a kid we could take there. I have been begging my wife to go to Schlitterbahn with me. That's the MONSTER park about 2 hours away. It's expensive and VERY crowded. My wife doesn't do hot, crowded, and bathing suit.

So....I pulled up the website for Summer Fun Water Park. $17. A little high, but do-able. Then, the gods shined down a ray of light. Summer Fun, for the first time ever, is having Adult Night. There was one in June, one in August, and ONE TONIGHT! Tickets are $15. BYOB. A special "show band" from Austin. I meekly mentioned it to Lori and shockingly, she asked where our swimsuits were. Evidentally, as long as I leave hot out of it, she does crowded and bathing suit!

So, I ran up and got tickets early, went to the store and bought a smaller cooler, a 12 pack of beer, and a new beach towel. By the way - Note to beer companies: If you want me to drink your overpriced, but swell beverage - PUT IT IN A DAMN CAN! I can't take bottles to the water park. I was forced to pick between Miller, Bud, and Natrual Lite (Miller was my choice). I was disappointed that I didn't have more of a choice.

We prepared ourselves accordingly, got there early, moved in front of a big line because we already had tickets, showed our ID's to the portly Belton PD at the door and we staked our our plot of land. I could still recognize a couple of old characteristics of the old Riverside pool 21 years after I had dipped into it's icy confines. There were some "monkey rings" still strung across the big pool that were still there (I became an adult the day I could make it to the end of those). The pool I remember was still there....it had just been modified a little. More slides going into it. A giant mushroom in the middle with water pouring off the sides like a giant umbrella. They had added four water slides. And, there was a "lazy river" that ran around the back of the park. They had plenty of picnic tables, a couple of volleyball courts and some more bells and whistles.

As everybody filed in, 8:00 pm and the owner came over the intercom and told the lifeguards to get in their places. The pools were OPEN! What happened after that was a little bit of Redneck Heaven. There were no whistles by the lifeguards to stop running. Nobody told me that I couldn't take my beer in the pool. Nobody told me I was being too loud. They simply let the rowdy crowd get rowdy. Nobody got hurt. We watched young tattoo-covered, rebel flag bikini wearing, three packs a day couples fight and cry and laugh and yell and splash. It was amazing. Lori and I took our beers into the lazy river and proceeded to float in a circle for over an hour.

We weren't the oldest people there. We weren't the ugliest people there. And God knows we weren't the fattest people there either. I actually gave the lazy river a new name - Whale Watching. I saw more inapropriate bikinis in an hour than I had seen in my whole life. Whoever is making Rebel Flag bikinis in a size 22 needs to stop. Or at least give the sized 22 girls another option.

After an hour, we decided to give up our tubes and head over to the main pool. I had loaded about 200 songs on my iPod and had some speakers just in case. But, the band had started and it appears that they STOLE my exact playlist. The band was called LC Rocks and they looked like they might be distant cousins of step-brothers of some unknown 80's band. But, they did a pretty good job considering there was a big sign right in front of the lead siger that said "DONT RUN". I don't know if Frank Sinatra had to deal with pool warnings.

And that's when I saw it. A sight out of my dreams. The pool had become one giant night club. Everybody had drinks in their hand. There were people making out in every corner. The giant mushroom that so many children play on each and every day and become a giant stripper pole. It was the water park of my dreams. Chlorine became more necessary than it ever has. While being serenaded by Sweet Child of Mine and Rock You Like a Hurricane, people were drinking hurricanes and doing things below the water that brought a whole new meaning to Summer Fun.

We stayed until my beer was long gone and our fingers and toes were as pruned as possible. Three hours of sitting in cool-ish water in the late night 90 degree heat. We cut out a little early because we saw how drunk the people were getting and knew they would be on the road shortly. Stopped off at Whataburger to complete our college-day fantasy.

Now, we'll sit and wait for Adult Night at Inner Space Caverns. Live the dream.

I'm Lucky

2009-06-30T22:19:00.002-05:00

Because somebody called me out - I'm blogging. And this is a true ramble. I'm just going to write what's on my mind. Something self-indulgent. I usually talk about the "bigger picture" stuff or complain about the wife or something.

Music. Well....let's go deeper than that. I'm incredibly lucky. I am a white male with great parents growing up in the greatest nation in the greatest state amongst the greatest people possible. Seriously - all those matter.

I don't want to be a female. I know too many miserable females that have brains that work entirely too hard to figure out things that just don't matter. I get tired even listening to the logic pattern as to why the women I know are upset with certain things. I'm white. And everybody knows when your a white guy they just give you stuff for free whenever you ask for it. How lucky could I be? I live in Texas. Yeah - we Texans are way too proud of our state. We don't care what you think about it. People from Bangladesh want to wear a cowboy hat and say "yee haw". I should be proud of that. And I have both of my parents close by, my brother, in-laws, nieces, nephew, cousins.....I'm amazingly lucky that my wife LETS me be near my family.

But...moving here hasn't been all peaches and cream. It's been tough. Mostly through job stress. The ways of shaking that stress are few and far between in the country. There isn't a lot of distractions. I thought I was handling it well. But, a couple of weeks ago, my brother and I went to a concert. It was almost like an awakening for me. How lucky am I to live an hour from the live music capital of the world? A big star in our little country-state played a show about 15 miles from my house and I had a wonderful time. My whole attitude has changed over the last two weeks.

The little town of Holland, Texas, holds the Corn Festival every year (I swear it was the Corn Cob Festival when I was little). This year, they got a big name to come play - Jack Ingram. He was the CMA new artist of the year last year (he's been around for 15 years....why he was "new" last year, I don't know). He's had a number 1 hit and a few other big hits. For this little booger of a town, it was big.

The opening act was Honeybrowne, a local band from Austin who is on the verge of making it big. I hadn't really heard a lot of their stuff, but listening to them play, I realized that it had been a couple of years since I had sit and watched musicians play and just how much I absolutely love to do that. By the time they were done, I was a fan.

Then, Jack Ingram got onstage and blew everybody away. That's when I realized just how lucky I was to live in Texas. There is a genre of music called "Texas Country Music." Some call it "Outlaw Country" or "Americana" or "Alternative Country". But, the other terms for it bring in other kinds of country that don't really define "Texas Country Music." I was lucky enough to have a friend that was a Pat Green fan before anybody knew who he was. He convinced me I needed to listen.

I was just out my divorce and needed something to fill my lonely moments. What better way than music. I went to the store and picked up a couple of Pat Green CD's and on the way out a CD by someone named Bruce Robison caught my eye. I remember sitting in the car for about four hours that night listening to it in my car. It was songs I wish I had written. They were songs that I should have written. It was things I wanted to say. I was hooked.

Over the next three years, I became a fan. I bought a guitar and learned to play a few chords. I wrote bad country music with a couple of friends. The music was pretty simple but the lyrics were about places I knew. The themes were more honest than the country music I heard on the radio. It wasn't your typical "dog died pickup truck in the rain" country. This was "you dumped me and I slept with your sister" and "what was your name again" country.

Going to that concert a couple of weeks ago rekindled my love of this music. I'm lucky I live here because if I didn't, I probably would have never even heard of the people I listen to. I'd be just like 99% of America, listening to what corporate radio thinks I should be. I try listening to mass-market country and it depresses me really. So, for anybody interested (the zero to two people that will ever read this), if you have the ability, might I reccommend:

Jack Ingram - This Is It. His early stuff is dark and booding. His recent stuff is a little more commercial. But he hasn't totally sold his soul yet.

Bruce Robison - Country Sunshine or anything before that. His recent stuff has gotten a lot more "folky". But, he is my songwriting idol. Songs like "Traveling Soldier" and "Wrapped"

Charlie Robison - Beautiful Day. Charlie is Bruce's brother. He recently divorced that Dixie Chick. This album basically talks about the divorce. I also love Life Of the Party.

Roger Creager - Fun all Wrong. His first album is one of my favorites ever. The Everclear Song is well known around these parts.

Cory Morrow - His live album from Austin City Limits is amazing. Another songwriter who I admire.

Pat Green - Carry On. Pat Green has become famous and gotten away from his Texas roots. He re-recorded the Carry On song for his recent Nashville album and totally ruined it by taking out all the meaning and soul. He's got more fans than he ever had, but they don't LOVE him like his local fans did when he was on the way up.

Kelly Willis - What I Deserve. Kelly is married to Bruce Robison. She went to Nashville and signed a contract. Had one album. They wanted her to be "the next Trisha Yearwood." She's painfully shy and hated every minute of it. She came back to Texas and just sells thousands of CD's a year instead of millions. But - hands down the most soulful country voice in America. She really is amazing.

There are other forms of music that I love and play and listen to. But this group of musicians who live to play the live show more than they live to record a CD is what I love.

That it. I blogged again. I feel better now.

My Daily Struggle

2009-05-11T19:22:00.002-05:00

I expect this to be a very rambling post. It kind of mirrors my thoughts on this subject

I have many friends and family that would label themselves "religious." I am not one of them. When the discussion comes up, I say that I am "spiritual" but not religious. When asked what religion I am, I have an easier time telling that person what religions that I'm not. I don't know what religion I am. I avoid the subject when at all possible. I believe it is a personal thing and that my religion (or lack of it) should have no effect on anyone. Witnessing to me will not make me follow your path. I admire people who are that committed to something.

Here's the sentence that scares most of my religious friends and family (I think they think I'm going to hell for thinking this):

I do not believe the Bible is the Christian's "Law Book."

I believe, that it is more a book of fiction than fact. I believe that it was written by men (and women) who believed exactly what they saw, may not have understood it at the time, and told the story the best they could. I believe each Bible story has a moral that we can translate into our lives today, but if it is taken literally, it can not only be incorrect, it can be dangerous depending on how it is interpreted. Christians told me it was "guided by the hand of God." Isn't everything guided by the hand of God. Humans are imperfect. To expect the Bible to be the perfect book is asking too much.

I've struggled with this belief my whole life, but as I grow older and question things (like I was encouraged to do at an early age), I find I am less religious than I thought I was when I was younger. Some of the stories just don't make sense. How big would Noah's boat have to be to get two of every animal? How many people built this boat? Wouldn't other people that had boats survive, too? If people saw Noah building this giant boat, wouldn't you think SOMEBODY would have taken more notice and maybe build a boat of their own? Why didn't some of those animals eat the other animals? What did they eat for 40 days? Where did they go to the bathroom?

Don't get me wrong. I don't think this is all one big cosmic accident. I believe someone or something bigger than us had something to do with it. But I don't believe God's plan includes some of the trivial things in our lives that so many people tend to "Thank God" for. I believe God created the Earth, gave it a spin and watched things happen. I believe in heaven and hell but I do not think any one religion has it right. I think most religion is set up to make you feel better about what happens once you die. Nobody knows. But, sometimes I think they think they do. I do not think "God works in mysterious ways" is always the answer to the tough questions. Sometimes, people are just assholes.

I think I just don't like churches as a group. There are good individual churches. But, too often, it becomes more about the social group and money than it is about God. There tends to be more judging of people in churches than out of churches. What do I care if gay people get married? Is it really that big of a deal if the word "God" is in our pledge of alligience or on our money? I know who God is. I'm not against taking "God" off of our pledge. But I can't say I'm for it either. It is what it is. I don't know that changing it matters as much as everyone fusses about. I had a pastor tell me (to my face) that I was not allowed to join the church until I committed a pledge of 10% of my total income. The consequences if I didn't? I would not be allowed to join and I could possibly go to hell. Yeah. Seriously.

Maybe it's been more on my mind recently now that I will be a parent to a little boy or girl that will have questions soon. What do I say? I do want to get involved in a church - probably my parent's church that is close by. But I'm not sure I want that particular church group to be my son/daughter's primary social group. I like the group of people that church has become. For the most part, they let me come when I feel the need. There is a little bit of pressure to "let us see you more often".

I pray. But, I think I'm talking to myself as much as I'm talking to God. I don't REALLY expect him to turn the red light green before I have to stop. I don't REALLY want him to determine if the person calling is someone I want to talk to and not my grumpy boss. I do have a running conversation (mostly in my head) with "God" about more serious subjects. I need to have the conversation. If He's listening, great. If not, I still need to have the conversation - so what's the harm?

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my doubt will cost me in the long run. Some Christians have asked me "What if you're wrong?" My answer is "What if YOU are wrong?" I've been looked down upon by several people way more religious than me, only to discover that their moral character is way more suspect than mine. I feel bad for those people. It looks like too much pressure to come across as so "godly" when the cracks are showing. I have owned up to what I'm not. I hope I have owned up to what I am as well.

Swine Flu

2009-05-01T22:14:00.004-05:00

I'm writing this from a deep bunker in an undisclosed location. The terrorist have unleashed the swine flu on America and as soon as you catch it, it eats your flesh and causes you to ooze bacon grease from every pore. Part of me wants to catch swine flu. I like bacon.

Seriously - this whole mess troubles me. Not the disease. Not the CDC warnings. It's the mass hysteria caused by the media. The local news broadcast live from an elementary school because two first graders from the same class stayed home from school because they weren't feeling well. Yup. It's the end of the world. Osama Bin Laden is laughing his ass off from his cave television. We are a psychotic mess.

I went to the doctor today (for totally UNRELATED items than the Swine Flu). I announced to everyone in the waiting room that I was certain that I had the swine flu. My skin was itchy (it wasn't). One lady gracefully switched seats by pretending to get a drink of water in between. Another man lectured me on the symptoms of Pig Flu (and the poor dude was SO misinformed).

When I got to the doctor's office, I started off by saying I was certain I had the swine flu. She knew I was joking. But we talked about it. She's been bombarded with every kid and adult with half of a cough. She's sent hundreds of samples in to be tested. It cost the patient money, it cost the insurance company money. It cost everybody money. And ZERO have been the swine flu. Is it possible that the swine flu was started by Obama's team to stimulate the economy? Hmmm.

My doctor went on to talk about the disease itself. Turns out, it's treated the exact same way as the regular flu. Acutally, it isn't even as BAD as the regular flu. It has the potential (like any virus) to mutate into a harder bug to crush, but it's currently not that bad of a bug. The CDC is freaking out because it's a NEW bug....but it isn't necessarily a BADDER bug.

The state of Texas is going Ape-Sh!t. Schools closed for two weeks. Proms canceled. High school sports canceled. They're closing pools, parks, churches, libraries. So, if you think you HAVE the swine flu, you can't go to the library to read about it. And, what happens when a school is closed? Don't all the kids hang out together elsewhere? Malls and Burger Kings and stuff? Is it possible that the swine flu was started by perverts who just wanted the kids out of school? Hmmmmm.

I had my little checkup and left. When I went to check out, I announced - "Yall were right! It isn't the Swine Flu. It's the SHEEP FLU! Run for your lives! Baaaaaaaaaaa" The ladies in the office thought it was funny. The Pig Flu lecturer didn't laugh.

I'm continually amazed at the paranoid state of everyone as a whole and individuals. Mothers are able to justify their paranoid state. "Oh....I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm going to protect MY kid." I've been told to cook my pork products or else I could get the swine flu. Um....if I don't cook my pork products, it's not the swine flu I'll have to worry about - it's salmonella!

Do the math - 30 million people in America. 350 cases so far. So, if I get out my calculator and crunch those numbers. 30 million divided by 350, carry the 1........... That's a low percentage! Maybe it isn't has hard to catch as advertised. And the way the media is telling me to NOT catch it includes covering my coughs and sneezes. Um....hello? Wouldn't that be keeping others from catching it if I had it? What are yall trying to pull? If I have it, shouldn't I cough it all away from me? Why hold it in?

And all the mask that everybody has on is funny to me. Nobody knows WHY they're wearing the mask. If you asked them, they'd tell you it's so you don't breathe in the germs. Turns out, that's not what they're for. It keeps you from breathing your piggy germs on other people. So, you go ahead and wear the mask. The swine flu is better than how silly you look.

How not to get the Swine Flu (according to my local news):
Dont' lick pigs.
Cover your coughs and sneezes.
Panic like a virgin in prison.

Random Thoughts

2009-03-22T14:51:00.004-05:00

Springtime! Spring is in the air. What's that mean, anyway? What does spring smell like? Pollen? That sucks. Animals mating? Ewww. In my neck of the woods, the smell of spring is the lake "turning over" and stinking up the place. It actually isn't bad this year. A couple of years ago though - we thought we had made a horrible mistake.

I love this time of year for some other things though. Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs. There are other variations of this masterpiece. But the egg.....ahhh the egg. It has the perfect balance of chocolate and peanut butter. The egg shape gives you some options. More peanut butter at the thin end. More chocolate at the big end. Perfection.

March Madness is going on right now. I ALWAYS participate in a bracket-pool contest for money. Always. This is the first year that I can remember that I haven't. I'm enjoying the tournament, but I bet I would be enjoying it 100 times more if it mattered to me who won or lost each and every game. That being said, last night was the best night of basketball watching since....last year's March Madness. These first four days of the tournament are the best four days for watching sports on TV for the entire year. Yes, that includes the Superbowl.

We went last night to see a christian stand-up commedian. Although, I think he could be just a normal commedian with a little bit of effort. Or maybe a little less effort. Some of his stuff wasn't really "christian friendly". The crowd was made up of mostly a congregation from some mega church in Killeen (Life Ministries....or something like that). He made a joke about homeschoolers and there was a hiss. He asked and of the 200 kids and teens there, I'd bet 180 of them were homeschoolers. He welcomed them to the outdoors. I guess religion and homeschooling go hand in hand. I didn't know that till last night. He was funny and I'd see him again. I like my comedy a little more "edgy" I think. But, I can appreciate some clean comedy, too.

I'm forcing myself to pick up my guitar more often. I haven't written anything in a few years and I really need to. One is because my wife is sick of hearing me play the same five or six things over and over. I restrung my guitar for the first time in a loooong time last night. It was scary. I always had assistance from seasoned guitarist in my past. I did this on my own. I think I did it right. It works....I just hope it stays in tune as much as it used to.

My new pet peeves -
1. Sunday "I need help" cleaning. My wife doesn't give me a list of what needs done when the weekend starts so that I can do it. It's on a "need-to-know" basis. I am not able to get things done and relax. It's spread out over the entire weekend. To protest, I requested a list. I'm dragging it out all day. I know it's counterproductive to my cause. I don't care.

2. My wife wakes up before I do. We've had to work that out. The solution of me just waking up when she does doesn't always work. So, when she's done in the shower, she wakes me up. Some days it works because I'm already kind of awake. But on the days that I'm not, her method of waking me up really contributes to my bad day. She beats on a door and SNAPS me out of bed. I ask her to turn on a light or shake me gently. Some day soon, I'm going to wake up early and toss cold water on her face and claim that I don't know another way to wake her up.

3. "You know". For some reason, my brain has started to pick up on this tic that a lot of people have when they talk. They throw in "you know" at the end of each sentence and whenever there is a pause in the sentence. I can deal with the "umms" but since I usually DONT know, its started to bug me when they tell me I do.

4. Attention whores. There was a girl at the concert last night that was just trying too hard. Purple prom type dress, black lace gloves (think Madonna 1984), pigtails, black high heels, several braclets, makeup very overdone (I could go on). She had a bunch of friends there with her and she was downright rude to them. Of course, there was an annoucement right before the concert started that there was a birthday. Guess who? A couple of kids next to me thought it was funny to scream random things at the commedian. I wanted to lean over and say "I know you think your wittiness makes the girls giggle. You think it's the thing that's going to help you get some. In fact, it's the one thing that will not." I'm not against getting attention. I'm as guilty of it as anyone. I just cringe at the ones that are trying way too hard. I hope I can instill this in my child.

5. Horror movie trailers. There is a haunting type movie that is out. There is a scene where some kid pukes something up in slow motion. They play it all the time. During cartoons, sports, Oprah, cooking shows. I don't want to see it. I have an issue with puking in movies anyway. I used to have a rule that if someone puked, I couldn't include it as a movie I actually liked. Then, about ten years ago, somebody decided it would be a good idea if people puked in every movie ever. Seriously. Somebody pukes in just about every movie that comes out now. I want to see the new Judd Aptow movie about the mall cop with Anna Ferris. She pukes in the trailer (and this he kisses her). In the TRAILER! C'mon! We're eatin' over here!

6. Marketing. I bought a couple bottles of 5-hour energy. I am trying to be healthier so I chose the decaf (in the name of every-little-bit-helps). Turns out, my "decaf" energy drink still has CAF in it. It's just a lot less than the caffinated. How do they get away with that? Terms like "No sugar added" and "reduced fat" and "healthy".....all marketing gimmicks. It's no wonder we have no clue what to eat. My wife thinks she's going to lose 10 pounds because she buys the "no carb" donuts. But everything else we buy has a gazillion carbs. I don't think it works that way. I'd pay an extra $20 a grocery visit to have a nutritionist follow us around and coach us on what we put in the basket. We don't have a clue. Really.

Here's to the Dogs.

2009-03-07T21:35:00.006-06:00

Tonight a very good friend of mine lost her dog. It got me thinking about all of my dogs who have crossed the Rainbow Bridge in my past. I've always been a dog person and I reckon I always will be.
Dinky, Tuesday, Gizmo, Bear, Scooter, and King. Each one was my favorite dog in their own way. I miss them all and can remember the day each of them died vividly. I find that fascinating. I don't remember much about my grandparents funerals or their passing, but I can tell you vivid details about each of my dogs and how and where they are buried in the back yard of our little house on Mobud.

When I met Lori, we eventually moved in to a house together. I remember wanting a dog the DAY we moved in to the house. But Lori had never had a dog before. Heck, she have never had a PET before. Well...I think she had some fish briefly....and an imaginary cat. I knew it would be a battle to get a dog.

Then, one day soon after, in one of the neighborhoods I was building houses in, I came upon a gaggle of children fighting over a scruffy little dog. I investigated and discovered this dog had been wandering the neighborhood for some time and the kids were fighting over who got to keep it. Being the peacekeeper of the situation, I offered to temporarily take the dog and went back to my office and got a bunch of paper and pens and had all the kids put their energy into putting up "Found Dog" signs so we could send this little old lady home.

She was very dirty. I took her home and made a place for her in the garage. I called Lori and told her the situation and I can't really say she was all too happy about it. She was more concerned with getting dog hair all over the new house. When Lori got home, the dog turned on the charm. It wasn't five minutes later and that dog was sitting on the couch with us.

I remember having to give her TWO baths just to get her hair unmatted. Turns out, the signs didn't work. We ended up taking the dog to the vet. She said she was old, but in pretty good shape considering.
We ended up naming her Smokey. She was demanding but polite. Our most vivid memory was her "tapping" your leg with her paw to let you know she was there and wanted a bite of your food. She had to sleep in our bed and loved to get in between your feet so she had walls on each side of her.

One day in October, I came home and my father-in-law mentioned she was limping. I took her to the vet and she gave her a cortizone shot and told me to monitor it. Friday, there was no change. Saturday, Smokie wouldn't stand up. I took her to the yard and she just laid there. I took her to my vet and when she came in, I could tell by the look on her face that it wasn't good. We rushed her to the Gulf Coast Vet. Clinic. That place is nicer than the nicest hospital I've ever been in. They said they could probably tell us what was wrong with her but it would cost $5000 minimum, and at her age, they didn't reccommend it. She was never in any pain that we could tell. We gave her a great last year of her life. She meant so much to my wife and her mom and dad. Because she was our first, it was increadibly hard.That next week without Smokey was increadibly quiet. I couldn't stand it. That next weekend we went to a local no-kill shelter "just to look." We came upon a dog who had been there for six months and was one big hair-ball. All of the other dogs were doing their best to impress - wagging their tails, barking, getting attention. This dog, fittingly named Fozzie, just laid in the back. He didn't show much emotion at all. We opened the cage and he came up and put his forehead on Lori's knee. We knew immediately. The people at the shelter cried. They loved him. The reason he had been there so long was that he was heart-worm positive. He had just finished his treatments though.
We had ol Fozzie for a good long time. He became somewhat of a celebrity in our little neighborhood. I'd regularly walk down one certain street that had about 20 kids that always played in the front yard. When they saw him, they'd come screaming down the street. We'd line up in a line and when I yelled go, I'd take off the leash and Fozzie would take off with the kids close behind. He seemed to always let them win.....and he usually got distracted by a great new smell at a tree or something.

He developed a "cough" from the heartworms. We took him in several times to the vet and she said there wasn't much we could do. It got worse over the years and eventually, I had to take him to Texas A&M to a specialist. They're only reccomentadion was surgery - but it wasn't a sure thing.

Soon after, the cough got worse and we had to make the tough decision. I fed Fozzie hot dogs for breakfast and steaks for dinner. That was just as hard if not harder on Lori and her mom and dad. For me, it was devistating. That was August 23, 2006. I still miss him like it was yesterday. We still talk about him quite often.

We went for a long time with no dog. We moved out of Houston to Belton, Texas. We were patient, but after a couple of months, I got the itch again. I combed the internet and a dog caught my eye at a shelter in Austin. Her name was Miss Pickleshorts.
She was about six months old when we got her. That was almost two years ago to the day. We've had our growing pains. We came home one day to all of the stuffing in our furniture laying in the middle of the living room. Since then, we've come a long way. She's learned how to walk without the leash for the most part. She still has her puppy urges, but she has become one great dog.

My thoughts are with my friend Donna and her dog Shelby. It's made me reflect on the good times with my doggies.

Must Love Dogs

2009-01-17T21:47:00.004-06:00

My wife decided that we could see a movie today. What to see? My vote was for something action packed. Paul Blart: Mall Cop was considered and quickly vetoed. I've seen most of the 'Award' movies. Valkyrie was the only one left standing. Not real jazzed...but I'd heard good things. My wife voted for Bride Wars. I've got nothing against chick flicks....but I stood my ground. It just looks mind-numbingly torturous. So....a compromise: Marley and Me.

I knew what to expect and I voiced my concern. It's not really a comedy per-say. My wife said she wanted to see something funny. I threw Paul Blart back out as an option. She convinced me and caused me to break one of my rules. My wife will NOT go see a horror movie. Period. Ever. Never ever. She hates them and doesn't find them entertaining. The same is true with me and "cute dog that dies at the end". The movie we saw today may have been pretty good, but I couldn't enjoy it. I hate movies like that.

I'm a dog person. I love my dog. Freckles doesn't care what kind of job I have or what kind of clothes I'm wearing or if I ran the errands I was supposed to run or how I did my job that day. She just cares that I come home, feed her, pet her, play with her, and walk her. And for that she is my biggest fan. Coming home to that dog is always the same - overjoyed excitement. It's awesome.

But....as much as I love Freckles, I love all of my previous dogs. Fozzie, who we put down about three years ago, is still very much alive in my memory. My wife and I talk about him often and I wasn't ready to put him down. It was the right thing to do, but I had so much fun being his owner. Smokie, the stray that was our first dog as a couple, was old and we gave her a good year. In that year, she bonded with everybody she came in contact with. Her passing was sudden and awful. Again - I wasn't ready.

And the list goes on. Dinkey, Tuesday, King, Scooter, Bear, Spotty, Crunch. I love all of my parent's dogs, too. Zeke, String Bean, Midget, Cougar, Shasta, and Sasha. I'll cry when they pass on. My immediate family has only cried as a family twice that I can remember. First - with the University of Houston basketball team lost to NC State in the finals (83?) and when our dog King died. My dad and brother started digging the grave, I got there and mom sat on the patio and we all just cried while we did it.

So today - as I watched the movie, I thought about all of that. I knew how the movie was going to end. And I enjoyed the cute puppy and the first 45 minutes of the movie. Then I figured out that the dog was getting older and I just wanted to leave. I couldn't enjoy any part of the last half of the movie. Every scene reminded me of one of the dogs from my past.

Lifting Marley into the car to take him to the vet - Tuesday when she got sick and we did that.
The grave and impromptu funeral - King and our family cry.
Walking in the field with the dog - Crunch and our dirt road walks.
Most of it reminded me of Fozzie and our two years with him.

My wife was upset with me after the movie. I didn't want to talk about it. Still don't. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston may have been good in the movie - I couldn't tell you. The dog was good. Good dog.

Random Thoughts

2008-12-16T19:53:00.003-06:00

It's almost Christmas. I'm restless (for reasons some of you know about....but some don't...yet). Lots of stuff on my mind. Having a hard time focusing. Figured it was a good "Random Thoughts" time.

- The Charmin Bears. I hate them. Hate is a strong word. But so fitting in this case. I don't think you should be able to use cute cartoon animals to talk about wiping your a$$. If they're going to do that, why don't they have Patchie - The nicotine patch wearing puppy. Thumper - the safe sex rabbit.

- Lloyd Dobbler is my favorite movie character of all time.

- The Mentalist is on right now. I freakin love this show. I didn't expect to. But, I love all the characters on it. Patrick Jayne is a brilliant idea for a character. I don't know how they didn't think of this before.

- Facebook is my new obession. I've connected SO much with my past, which is something I've really been missing recently. Old high school friends first. Then recently, a few people that I grew up with and I've known since BIRTH. Friends that are more like long lost brothers and sisters. We've been talking about getting everybody together for a reunion. I hope it happens. It's weird seeing people you only have memories of as a 10 year old with 3 kids.

- Baklava. That is my new project. It may take me awhile to purchase all the supplies that I need to complete such a culinary project (food processor, rose water). But I like Baklava. And I like to have kitchen projects. After that, I'm going to tackle red beans and rice done the RIGHT way. All hail Alton Brown and Good Eats.

- Work sucks recenly. But, not in the way it has sucked for the last four or five years. It's slow. I only have three or four houses. So, busy work is thrown in. Processes are being "fine tuned". Everybody has an opinion and everybody but the builder is right. I have about people that consider themselves in some way "my boss". All of them have their own opinion about what is the right way to do somehting. So, whatever way I choose, the other three people think I'm wrong. And with the economy, there won't be any bonus. They aren't telling us....they're just telling us our "quality" is poor. So, during review time, that will be the justificaiton I think. It's frustrating....especially when you know the outcome before the end.

- I've enjoyed living near my parents during the holidays more this year than ever. I got to go to my neice's fourth birthday party last week. I got to go to a big "dinner theater" type event at my parent's church Sunday night. If I lived in Houston, there would have been no chance of going. I enjoyed both very much. And with Thanksgiving and Christmas, I can look forward to it without having to worry about how and where we are going to sleep. It's wonderful.

- I got myself a GPS for the car for Christmas. It's wonderful. It's got me into Geocaching again. I'm in the process of loading up a bunch of caches for my nephew and I in our hand held GPS units. When it turns warmer, we're going to go hiking in the woods.

- I am SO freakin excited about 2009, I can't stand it (again....for reasons some of you know about....a few still don't.....yet). It will be the most challenging, rewarding, emotional, fun thing I've ever done in my life.

That's enough for now. I had thirty other things in my head when I started writing. But, that focus thing is still on the fritz.

On the Other Side of BLACK Friday

2008-11-28T10:42:00.002-06:00

I had a good Thanksgiving. The meal was most excellent and for the first time in a long time, it was more relaxing than it was a chore, which with my family, is an accomplishment. I was so relaxed, I grabbed the paper and started looking through the "Black Friday" ads. Hmmm.....I don't really NEED anything, but there are a couple of things I WANT that I could score quite nicely on.

I made the mistake of telling my wife that she "didn't have to go" which was interpreted "I don't want you to go. In fact, I hate you and you smell funny". What I meant was, I knew exactly what I wanted, where I wanted to go, and how long I would take. My wife, being highly offended, plotted her revenge quietly and cunningly by saying "Wake me up when you get up and let me decide then." My wife is not a 4:30 AM person. Hell - I'm not a 4:30 AM anything. Did you know there is no sun at 4:30 am? Weird.

So, I did my due diligence research on what I wanted to buy. I wanted a GPS for the car, an iPod Touch, and some new binoculars. I went through every ad I could find. Everybody had GPS's on sale. Most for $99. But, I started doing the reviews on those and for what I wanted for me, my wife, and her parents (they do big giant roadtrips and need something EASY to operate) I decided I needed something more up to date and top of the line. Best Buy had a TomTom on sale. 6 AM. No problem. Dicks Sporting Goods had binoculars on sale. Cool. But my iPod touch? No chance. Those marketing bastards. They know everybody wants one and will pay up the bazokie for one. I scratched that off my list. On a whim, I checked Circuit City online. Turns out, one of the highest rated GPS systems that I had seen was on sale. $150 off! Out of my budget, but I increased my budget. But Circuit City opens at 5 am. One less hour sleep. I look at my clock and it's 1 AM. Holy crapola. G'night.

4:30 comes fifteen minutes later and I'm up. My dog is confused. Nobody is up at 4:30. I wake Lori up and she's ready to go almost instantly. I tell her my plan and she says "Let's stop at Walmart on the way." She doesn't think the Belton Wal-mart will be that crowded. She wants to get a $5 Hanna Montana doll for my neice. I'm oblivious. Sure. I'm sure my high-tech toy can wait another 15 minutes.

Then.....like it was on cue, it begins to rain a little bit. The temperature cools quickly. As we pull around the corner, I see it. The parking lot is full. Our first plan is to just drop Lori off and let her grab her little doll and be done with it. I quickly assess the situation and realize that what is about to happen beyond those walls would be a bloodbath beyond anything I had ever seen before. I wasn't disappointed.

(This isn't exactly what we saw.....but not too far off)

I walked in and what I saw took my breath away. I realized Lori was in a sea of empty carts somewhere in the back middle section of shopping madness. The store is open 24 hours, so people must have been there for two or three hours picking their "spot". I looked in shock as women crowded around racks of cheap childrens coats with their hands on the hangers, like they were frozen in time. They had their hand on the item they wanted and must have been told they weren't allowed to take it off the rack until 5 am. I told the guy next to me, "I bet if I put a dog turd down and put a "1/2 off" sign on it this morning, someone would buy it."

Five minutes to go and I make my way through the gridlocked sea of empty carts to electronics. There, the novelty has worn off and people are a little more tense. Screams of "MINE" and "Dibbs!" ring through as shouting matches between roller-haired grandmothers and peach-fuzz college kids fight over what 32" plasma televisions they have claimed. Again - I looked on with shock and awe.

At one minute to five I had reached the outskirts of the mob that had become the toy section. I didn't know it at the time, but I was standing right next to what would become ground zero. It was a display of some kind of Leapster gadget. I couldn't see the display because it had become a ball of people, all with their hand on one, two, three, or four of them.

The manager came on and said some things about safety and manners (I'm not too sure because the lady next to me was screaming "NO! THE BARBIE CAR! THE BARBIE CAR FOR CHRIST SAKES!" to someone across the lane that apparently had misjudged their placement. Then the manager said "NOW" and it happened.

I have never been to war. I can't say I can relate to anything that a soldier has seen or done on the battle field. But this morning, I think I'm a little closer to understanding. The ball of country folk beside me exploded. Literally. Somebody had their hand one someone else's claim and that person decided to claim a third person's Leapster. Elbows were thrown. "Oh no you didn't"'s were flung. Minimum wage Wal-Mart checkers became bouncers. One lady was knocked to the ground. Instead of being angry, she found a Leapster someone had dropped and her morning took a quick 180. Thirty seconds later, it was done. A heap of mangled cardboard lay in the middle of the lane. Evidentally, these Leapsters were $30 and were normally $80-90.

I picked a spot between fabrics and office furiture and decided to wait it out with some of the other husbands that had the "shell shocked" look. I started trying to entertain with some one liners:
"The Jonas Brothers are here, right?"
"I'm just here for milk."

Fifteen minutes later, my wife has found me. She got into the spirit of things and had cussed out and pushed around enough people to get about $50 worth of crap for my nephew and neices. She got her $5 doll, but was also able to grab things that wads of people were fighting over, so they MUST be good.

We didn't get out until 5:30. Bruised, bloodied, and a lot less innocent than when we went in. We quietly made the 15 minute ride to the Circuit City. I stood in a line to get in, convinced my GPS was long gone after what I had witnessed. Again, with one liners like "Is this the line for Madonna tickets?" and "Who do you have to sleep with to get in this club?" entertained the drowsey crowd.

I got my GPS. Then I got my binoculars. Then, we even did some Bed, Bath, and Beyond, some Old Navy, Lowes, and a little grocery shopping to top it off.

But, I will never be the same again. Black Friday isn't because all the stores are "In the Black" on this day. It's from the black eyes. Gotta be.

My Niece Alysia can kick your ass.

2008-11-07T16:05:00.005-06:00

This is my niece Alysia.

She's 15. A little over a year ago, she started taking Tae-Kwon-Do classes. My brother and sister-in-law wanted her to increase her strength and flexibility for softball. She did a lot more than that.

She just got her Red Belt. She is training and studying now for her black belt. If she gets it in time, she will go to the Junior Olympics in Orlando. She's really good. There are no girls for her to fight in this area that are her age, so she fights the boys. She joined the demonstration team. They go to festivals and malls and parking lots and show off to recruit new people. Being a girl, she has become one of the most popular of the team.

Here is a video of her demo:

She's super timid and innocent in person. Really. But I don't pick on her like I used to. I play fight with her and she kicks me in the face. Not really. But she could. If I ever have to go to a bad part of town, I'm picking her up and taking her with me first.

All the boys at her school know what she is capable of. I think they're all afraid of her.

Random Thoughts

2008-10-28T13:35:00.002-05:00

I'm in a rut. Things at work are SLOW. So slow in fact that things are being created for me just out of spite. I'll never be caught up, but I'm not behind. I'm waiting for one of my workers to show up and really can't go anywhere for awhile, so I figured I'd type a little:

1. I got to meet five of my Dawgs (technically 6) in San Antonio last week. I took my wife. Well...I had to take her. Kat, Jeanne, Barb, Cynthia, Tigger (and DivaMom). It was a short visit but I had so much fun. More importantly, so did my wife. She may actually let me out of the house if such an opportunity ever presents itself again. I carry two packets of Sweet-n-Low in my wallet now. Someday I'll get them autographed and sell them for big money on E-bay.

2. My wife is VERY excited to start her new job. Wait. That's not really right. My wife is VERY VERY excited to leave her old job. Yeah. That's right. Since the moment she got the new job, she's been singing. Not singing anything in paticular. Just random words and melodies. I've been so used to her in a bad and stressed out mood, I'm having a difficult time adjusting. I hope it last (The good mood part. Not the adjusting part).

3. We're going to the Renaissance Festival near Houston this weekend. I had never been before I met my wife, so this is like "our thing". It's one of the first things I did with her parents (but they aren't going this year). I'm really excited because there is a chance that we will be taking my nephew T.J. He has always been in to swords and knights and dragons. I don't think he has any concept of what the Renaissance Festival is. I asked my brother not to tell him. I'm just going to let him spend the night on Halloween and make him go with us on Saturday. He'll be happy to go anyplace with Uncle Steve and Aunt Lori. I'm looking forward to his face when he figures it out. I hope he likes it as much as I want him to. Lori and I are going to try to spoil him a little.

4. I'm very much looking forward to Halloween this year. I've already started getting my costume ready by NOT shaving this week. I'm going to be a Redneck. I got the mullet wig, a fake mustache, big tacky tattoo, Dodge Hemi cap, wife beater t-shirt. I'm still trying to figure out other things to add to it. I'm going to talk way too loud and say "Get me a beer!" as many times as possible. I'll go to the store and get a 64 oz. Schlitz or something similar on Friday. Lori is going to be a "Rocker Chick"......although I'm calling her a "Redneck Wife". She's going to carry around my custom Guitar Hero guitar, she's got the fake wig, big tacky sunglasses, temp. tattoo, she modified her jeans, glitter makeup. She's going to wear it to work Friday. I'll go pick up my mom Friday so she can pass out candy. We'll open up the garage, turn on the scary music and make a little party out of it. My brother is going to take my 3 year old neice to a rich neighborhood first. Then they'll come by. I might fire up the grill. Rednecks grill.

5. Looking forward to next month. I'm not real busy at work, it's my birthday, Thanksgiving, wedding anniversary, and I might get to go with my dad and brother down to Houston to a football game. At least that's the plan. As stressful as the summer has been, I hope the fall and winter are the opposite. Lori's job should help a bunch.

I guess that's enough. Time to get back to work.

Lori - "It's Over"

2008-10-22T20:03:00.003-05:00

It's been stressful for the last six months. I try not to talk about it much because we have focused so much on it for so long now.

But, when Lori got home from work tonight, she announced - "It's over."

I knew eventually it would be over.

She finally got a new job! (What did you think I was talking about?) She works at a company which is the industry leader in woman's workouts......I'll change the name to protect the innocent. She works at "Turns". :) She's been miserable there for about six months. Her two bosses are like divorcing parents that are using their kids to get back at one another. The big boss is unorganized and everything is a panic. He demands manditory overtime and expects all of his employees to work 12 hour days while he works 4 hours a day. Her supervisor is afraid of him and will do anything she can to avoid confrontation....but won't actually do anything herself. It's messed up. It's messed Lori up. Headaches, panic attacks, daily bawling sessions.....

It really has been stressful on us both. Lori has been looking here and there for another job for the last 6 months. Nothing. Nada. Not one interview.

Until last week. Working for the state of Texas....but really, it's Texas A&M.....but really it's Scott and White Hospital. We haven't quite figured out they dynamic. She's going to be an Administration Manager of the.......well.....they work with Stem Cells. That's ironic because my dad had a stem cell transplant last year. There is a big research project headed up by some 80 year old world-renowned doctor.........

Bottom line is it ISNT the place she is working now (which is 47 miles from home). This is 7 miles from home. It's literally 1 mile from my office. She is making much less money....but will make up most of that in the gas she saves. Luckily, the guy that hired her gave her the maximum amount that he possibly could. She was expecting less.

Tomorrow at her current job should be very interesting. Her bosses have been paranoid that she has been looking for a job for awhile now. That's because she's had so many doctors appointments, they just assumed they were job interviews.

Hopefully, she'll have a couple of days off and we can take a trip. My vacation kicks in on November 1st. Regardless, the plan has always been to go to Fogo De Chao when she got a job. So, looks like we're going back to Austin on Saturday. Woo hoo!

Sarah Palin

2008-09-24T23:13:00.002-05:00

My wife and I celebrated a first tonight. Our first heated political argument. The problem with politics for me is - I really don't care. I label myself a republican. My wife labels herself a democrat. But, I really don't care. I am a republican because of the way I was raised (republican parents), my education (business is what makes America), I'm a white male in Texas. It just fits. But, if Obama wins, yahoo. Couldn't care less. I won't lose a wink of sleep over it. I have some friends that will. But not me. National politics are way down deep low on my priority list. Local politics - that's something that matters to me.

But tonight, we got to talking about Palin. Here are the issues:
1. She's a woman
2. She's from Alaska
3. She's a republican
4. She's pro-life big time
5. She's pro-gun big time
6. She has a pregnant daughter and a baby with down syndrome
7. My wife is a woman (and I'm not)

First - At face value, I would assume my wife would be somewhat supportive of Palin only because she is a female. My wife is not because she doesn't like "the picture" of her and her family. She thinks she should be home taking care of her down syndrome baby. How could she preach family values while she has a pregnant unmarried teen at home?

I'm floored by all of this. Enough that I'm acutally writing this down. If Sara Palin was a man - nobody would blink. Nobody would care. How many current senators have teens that are pregnant, in trouble with the law, etc? Nobody knows because nobody really cares. Why should some dumb decision that her daughter made have anything to do with why she is a bad choice for VP? I don't think it matters. My wife seems to think that's all that matters.

My wife is upset that women have a double standard. But, she is supporting that double standard with her arguement. I think she is inclined not to like her because she is a republican. She is full of all kind of hate because of her "pro-life" belief. I totally understand that my view of abortion is discounted because I am a male. But, that doesn't mean that I'm wrong. And honestly, I don't care if she thinks babies should be put to work right out of the womb. It just doesn't matter. The republicans are generally pro-life. So, it wouldn't have mattered who was the VP candidate, my wife was going to be pissed. For me - I could care less what Palin thinks about abortion. She gave her opinion. Good to know. The chances of her opinion actually coming in to play is so slim, it just doesn't matter.

My whole issue with her is that she is from Alaska and lacks any foreign policy experience whatsoever. THATS why I think she's a bad choice. Is she bad enough for me not to vote republican? I doubt it. I might not vote republican, but she won't be the reason. I didn't NOT vote for Bush because Quayle was the VP. I didn't like him either.

We argued for an hour. She talked about stereotypes, made my point for me, then told me we'd just agree to disagree. I think she actually agrees with me but is just too confused to know it.

Bottom line is - I don't care. I'll never get that hour back.

My Apologies to Mr. Ledger

2008-08-30T20:03:00.003-05:00

I saw The Dark Knight today. Finally. I've avoided it since it came out. Not really on purpose. First, I'm not a die-hard Batman fan. I mean, he isn't really a superhero. He's just a rich whackjob with some cool toys. I did like Batman Begins, but not enough to call Batman my favorite ever.

Second, I've never liked Heath Ledger. Not one movie. I think the movie I enjoyed the most with him in it was The Patriot, but I didn't like HIM in it. I saw a couple of interviews and always thought he was smug. On a radio interview on a Houston radio station for A Knight's Tale, he got mad at some question and muttered something rude and then hung up. Not my kind of actor. I've avoided everything he's done since. Yes, I saw Brokeback. The content didn't really disturb me. I just didn't like Heath's cowboy drawl. Ok....the content disturbed me a little.

But that brings me to today. We decided to see a movie and it was the next one up. I figured all of the Oscar talk was just all the other actors wanting to say and do something nice for the deceased Mr. Ledger. I mean, I figured he would be a "good" Joker. I just didn't think it would be anything more than just good.

I left shocked. I left disturbed (in a good way). I left telling my wife that he deserved every accolade he was given. My wife compared him to Hannibal Lechter from Silence of the Lambs. She will have nightmares for weeks. But, she agreed that he was great. It may have been the best performance I have seen in 15 years. He was a very evil bad guy, but you kind of rooted for him. He was a villian of his word. He had a sense of humor that was actually funny. You kind of understood why he was the way he was and strangely kind of rooted for him.

So, I offer up a public (as public as a blog is) apology for my avoidance of Mr. Ledger's work. He deserves the Oscar for that. Seriously. I don't think any actor could have done a better job with that role.

Olympic Hangover

2008-08-24T20:15:00.002-05:00

I enjoyed the Olympics VERY much. There were about 10 different defining moments throughout the games that I will remember forever. Michael Phelps, Usain Bolt..... I'm going to miss watching the obscure sports. Rhythmic gymnastics, team handball, table tennis, badminton. They were all exciting in their own way.

I think we did o.k. But, we weren't as good as we normally would in a couple of areas. It's time for the report card:

Swimming - A+
There were some disappointments that should have dropped this grade. Katie Hoff didn't win gold and Dara Torres was an agonizing .01 seconds away from a gold. But, MOST of America's medals came from the swim team.
31 medals - 12 gold, 9 silver, and 10 bronze.

Syncronized Swimming - C +
We weren't supposed to win a medal and we didn't. We tied for 5th in the team competition. A poor Japanese girl passed out in the pool and almost drowned. That was interesting.

Diving - D
We had a couple of medal hopefuls here. We didn't win a medal. The woman were training the new young girls and paying tribute to Laura Wilkerson, who should have given it up a couple of years ago. But we had a couple of men that were supposed to be pretty good. The Chinese spanked us here. They dominated and we underachieved.

Water Polo - A
The women were picked to win the silver behind Russia. The Russians didn't win gold (the Netherlands did) but the Americans fulfilled their expectations. Now - the MEN on the other hand were not supposed to come close. The ALMOST pulled off the gold medal, but eventually lost to powerhouse Hungary. But, Serbia lost on purpose to they would have to play us in the Semi-finals, thinking it would be an easy win. We spanked them. Bravo USA.
Two medals - 2 silver

Canoe/Kayak - C
We weren't supposed to win anything. We didn't. Slovakia owns this sport.

Rowing - B
Our men won a medal in the Men's 8. Should have been at least silver, but a bronze was ok. Our women's 8 won the gold, upsetting Romania. We had a couple of hopefuls in the 4s and pairs, but it wasn't meant to be.
3 medals - One gold, one silver, one bronze

Sailing - B -
We won in Laser Radial and Finn. Yeah. I don't know what that is either. Great Britain kicked butt here.
2 medals - 1 gold, 1 silver

Archery - C
Korea was supposed to do well and they did. We weren't supposed to win anything and we didn't.

Cycling - BMX - B
We were supposed to win gold and sliver in men's BMX. We let a Latvian win gold instead. There was a girl that snuck in for Bronze. I'm not sure I like BMX as an Olympic event. I mean, it's fun to watch, there were some great wipe-outs on the track, but it's too fast and too short. There were like 2 races. Swimming has 3,542 events. This has 2? Synchronized BMX. Something.
3 medals - 1 silver, 2 bronze

Cycling - Mountain Bike - C
Weren't supposed to win. Didn't.

Cycling - Road - B -
Our woman's hopeful, Kristin Armstrong was supposed to win the gold in the time trials and she did. But, she didn't place in the race. Our men's hopeful, Levi Leipheimer, snuck in for a bronze. He should have done a bit better.
2 medals - 1 gold, 1 bronze

Boxing - C -
Actually, this would be an F except I don't blame the Americans - I blame the scoring system. I watched a lot of the boxing and I think it's the biggest joke in all of sports right now. They tried to clean up the juding.....but they've turned it into a coinflip for who is going to win each match. It was slanted towards the Chinese fighters for sure. They arrested a Romanian judge that complained about it. I think they should just scrap it for the next Olympics until they get it figured out. America had one fighter that made the semi-finals and snuck in for a Bronze. We had three or four that should have gotten a medal. But, I don't know how much of it was their fault that they didn't.
One medal - 1 bronze

Judo - B -
Ronda Rousey was our only hopeful. She lost in the semi-finals but saved a bronze. Nobody else came close. We've never been very good at Judo.

Taekwondo - B
Steven Lopez was ROBBED. He was penalized and lost a point when he shouldn't have been and then lost in overtime. He was so upset about it, he considered not fighting for the bronze. He did and won. His brother and sister both got a medal. There was one other person that didn't win that should have for America. Good - but didn't overachieve.
3 medals - 1 silver, 2 bronze

Wrestling - B
Bravo Henry Cejudo! He came out of nowhere and won the gold. One of our females won a bronze. We had a couple of other hopefuls that didn't make it, but the gold was a big surprize. Russia whooped up in this sport.
3 medals - 1 gold, 2 bronze

Equestrian - B +
We won the gold in team jumping and that was a bit of an upset. Won a bronze and a silver in a couple of individual events that we were kind of longshots in. Not too shabby.
3 medals - 1 gold, 1 bronze, 1 silver

Fencing - B -
Right off the bat, we swept the medals in the girls sabre. But we kind of underachieved in the team events. We did o.k., but we could have whooped up. Instead, we just did so/so. Our men were....did they even show up? Our men didn't come close.
6 medals - 1 gold, 3 silver, 2 bronze

Weighlifting - D
Weren't supposed to win. Didn't. But, didn't even come close. We should have SOMEBODY compete in this.

Athletics - C -
First, the good news. We won more medals here than anybody else. The men won 14 and the women won 9. Now, the bad news. We should have had 50% more. Both of our relay teams dropped the baton. Tyson Gay was held up as one of our superstars. He didn't even make the finals of his event. The thing that gave me a bad taste in my mouth about it was the cockiness of the athletes. When they didn't win, they made excuses. When they barely lost, they sulked. Not all, but enough that it was a little embarrassing. This was the place we were supposed to clean up. Instead, we dropped the ball.
23 medals - 7 gold, 9 silver, 7 bronze

Triathlon - C
Weren't supposed to win anything. Didn't.

Baseball - C
We got the bronze, but we should have gotten gold or silver. Underachievers
1 medal - 1 bronze

Softball - D-
This was either all or nothing. We did the thing nobody thought was possible and lost. The only thing that would have been worse would have been losing earlier and not winning a medal. Still, there is no way we should have lost ever in this sport.

Shooting - A
We weren't supposed to do very well here. We actually had a lot of shockers in the trap and skeet events. The women weren't supposed to win anything and we snuck in a silver and bronze. There was a guy though.....last Olympics he shot the wrong target on the last shot and went from gold to nothing. He wasn't going to let that happen again. But this time, his gun went off too early on the last shot. Another freak accident. But, the overachievers made this a great Olympics for the Americans.
6 medals - 2 gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze

Tennis - C +
We won the bronze in men's doubles and the gold in woman's doubles. Shouldn't one of the Williams sisters have won an individual medal? I don't think tennis belongs here.
2 medals - 1 gold, 1 bronze

Table Tennis - C
What? No medal? C'mon. It's table tennis. We play it when we're drunk in America. It isn't a real sport. It was exciting to watch the Chinese whoop everybody. But not a real sport.

Badminton - C
Again. Is this a sport? I don't think anybody from America even attempted to qualify. But the Asian countries really did good. It was amazing to watch. They don't play it like I do in the backyard.

Field Hockey - Inc.
We didn't qualify. I'm pretty sure. I say get rid of this and include Lacrosse.

Modern Pentathlon - Inc.
This is a madeup group of 5 different sports. I didn't see anything about it. I know we didn't win anything, but since I don't understand it, I'm not grading it.

Handball - Inc.
Americans don't even know the rules. It's exciting. But we didn't even have a team as far as I know.

Soccer - B
Our men suck. They should have at least made the medal pool. The women rock. Not only did they make the medal pool, they won the whole freakin thing. Germany or Brazil was supposed to.
1 medal - 1 gold

Basketball - A +
We were supposed to win. We haven't in the recent past. We were looked at as spoiled and overrated. Both our men and women's teams kicked everybody's butts. We won and won convincingly. We were supposed to. The high grade was the attitude of the millionaires that play this game. They were out in public supporting other athletes, they were signing autographs, they were making the effort.
2 medals - 2 golds

Beach volleyball - A
Both the men's and women's teams dominated and it was fun to watch. They were both very gracious and did it with style. We had another woman's team that was supposed to get bronze....they fell short. But still. We dominated.
2 medals - 2 golds

Volleyball - A +
Our women weren't supposed to medal. They almost beat the Brazilians for the gold. The men's team had a hard road. The coaches inlaws were attacked and his MIL murdered on the second day of the games. The men had an outside shot at a medal. Instead, they rallied and beat the Brazilians convincingly. It was awesome.
2 medals - 1 gold, 1 silver

Trampoline - D
We weren't supposed to win, but I watched the guys we had. They would have been better off not trying. It wasn't pretty.

Rhythmic Gymnastics - C
It is pretty and all, but they should get rid of this and put in Cheerleading. All of the girls in America that can compete in this event are in some Vegas show right now.

Artistic Gymnastics - A -
The women could have done a little better. We fell a bunch in the team event. Everybody is focused on the age of the Chinese girls, but we didn't deserve a gold for what we did. Shawn Johnson and Nastia were fun to watch and represented us well. The cool thing was the men. When the Hamm brothers dropped out, we weren't supposed to come close. We won the bronze in the team event and squeaked in another medal. We could have done better, but we exceeded expectations.
10 medals - 2 gold, 6 silver, 2 bronze

Overall - B +
We did good. Real good. But we could have done so much better. We kicked major butt in the team events. But our track and field team let us down no matter how you look at it. They were supposed to dominate, but instead they just "got by". The Jamacians kicked our butts every chance they got.

4 more years till the London Olympics. Can't wait.

Olympic Fever! Catch it!

2008-08-16T07:32:00.002-05:00

I have been enjoying the Olympics this week very much. I love watching these obscure sports that I either see once every four years or I discover. Some say there are too many. Hogwash. I say - open the floodgates!

Here's what we have right now and what I like and don't like:

Aquatics: Diving, synchronized diving, swimming, synchronized swimming. I don't think the water people felt like they were getting enough with swimming and diving. So they just doubled it with the synchro stuff. Synchro swimming is kinda like freaky. Too much makeup in the water. They should make Michaelf Phelps wear makeup in his races.

Archery - This would be much better if they held it in the woods and put some deer out there. Actually, rednecks from all over would sit in the stands and shoot.

Athletics: Track and field - sprints, hurdles, and relays, javelin, pole vault, long jump, triple jump, hammer throw, discus, shot put, etc.

Badminton - I played this at summer camp when I was seven. Why don't they have horseshoes and washer tossing? Tetherball is another sport that should be played right beside this.

Baseball - They're getting rid of baseball. I think it's because the Major League players in America don't show up.

Basketball - We aren't as good as this as we used to be. Time to change the rules again.

Boxing - This has gotten boring with all the controversial scoring. They ought to just take off the gloves and start slapping and pulling hair. It would be SO much more entertaining.

Canoe/Kayak - Yeah. I don't get the point of this. I went on a canoe trip once. We camped. I didn't get a medal.

Cycling - There's road cycling (ala Tour de France). Boring. Track cycling. That's stupid. They go as slow as they can until the last few feet and sprint to the finish. Now they have BMX and Mountain Biking. Somebody at the Olympics has been watching the X-games. Next thing you know, they'll have skateboarding.

Equestrian - I don't mind watching it, but who gets the medal? The rider or the horse? Don't tell me it's the rider. He doesn't do crap. And if a 64 year old man can win a medal in this, should it really be a sport? I don't know. Let's add rodeo. I'd like to see a couple of frenchies on a bull. Or horse racing. We need more betting in the Olympics anyway.

Fencing - It's o.k. Tradition I guess. I wish they would use real swords. Then I would watch. Really. I would.

Football (soccer) - I will NEVER understand why 150,000 people will cram a stadium and cheer for a 0-0 tie. Get rid of soccer and put in indoor soccer. And why not American football? I'd like to see some NFL stars go up against Angola and Kenya.

Gymnastics - includes Rhythmic gymnastics and trampoline. I love the gymnastics, but the scoring has gotten all screwed up. Rhythmic gymnastics is like going to a Cirque show kinda. They should include juggling and magic. Trampoline? Who slept with who to get this sport in there?

Handball - I've watched a little bit. I dont understand all the rules. But I like it. Why isn't this sport popular in America? Jumping, bumping, and throwing balls at people. Here in America, we call it Dodgeball. THAT should be an Olympic sport.

Field Hockey - That poor girl in Meatballs got her leg broken in this sport. That's all I can think of when I watch this. What happened to Lacrosse? That was a sport once, wasn't it?

Judo - Another fighting sport I think would be much better with real swords.

Modern Pentathlon - Five events - Shooting, Fencing, Swimming, Horse Jumping, and then a 3000meter run. OF COURSE! These five sports belong together. It makes total sense! Oh wait. No it doesn't. First - here's a gun. Next - here's a sword. To this point, I kind of see a theme...weapons. But then, swimming and horse jumping? It would be better with sharks and swords. I don't know what is "modern" about it. Want to make it modern? Make it Computer gaming, NASCAR, Jet-skiing, and Segway racing. THATS modern.

Rowing - >yawn<

Sailing - I think they should force the landlocked nations of Africa to participate.

Shooting - another yawner. Until they are shooting at each other or at something, I don't get it.

Softball - I heard a stat this morning that the USA women have scored like 1,000 runs and their opponents have scored 2. I think their opponents this year have had 3 hits total. Now they are bitching that the Olympics are getting rid of softball. It's boring because we're too good. We KILLED it. Good for us.

Table Tennis - Ok. Really. Ping Pong. What about air hockey? Billiards? Poker? Jigsaw puzzle? Building a house of cards? Oh....that game of football you play on a table with the little triangle made out of paper. I'd watch that. Ping pong. Really?

Taekwondo - See judo. Swords makes this better.

Tennis - Sounds like it would be good. It's not. It's boring. It's why I don't think golf should be included. Yeah. As an American, I'd like to see Tiger whoop up on the rest of the world, but I just wouldn't care that much.

Triathlon - Finally - a real sport. These people are animals. Anyone that can swim across a bay, bike across a state, and run across a county deserve a medal. It should be like the Special Olympics where there are people at the finish line to hug and offer medals to everyone that finishes. They all deserve it.

Volleyball - Including beach volleyball. I have become a big fan of women's beach volleyball. but for totally impure reasons. It's better than a lot of porn. And between games, they bring out bikini-clad cheerleaders. What's not to love about that?

Weightlifting - I like this only for the potential gross injury you see every olympics. This one has been no different.

Wrestling - I guess it's o.k. But where are the ropes? I want to see people flying off the top rope and hitting them with a chair. Bring in Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper and Superfly Snuka.

Ok.....That's a lot of sport. But, WE CAN DO BETTER! I have some that I REALLY want to see added. Then I have others that I would like to suggest:

Olympic cannonball. C'mon. The Chinese could put all those sumo wrestlers to good use. The one that gets the most water out of the pool is the winner. If I was flipping channels and I saw a 400 pound man on the end of the diving board - I'm watching. Always.

Tug of War - DONT LAUGH! It USED to be an Olympic Sport. Back from 1900 - 1920. The Americans won the gold once. I think we need to bring it back. And have a big pool of chocolate pudding for everybody to fall into. You could have different weight classes, make special teams of swimmers or bronze medalist, or multiple medal winners. Have fun with it.

Hackey Sack - It's been the sport of the future since I was seven. It's time to give the sport its due.

Jump Rope - C'mon. Those Double Dutch kids rock!

Cheerleading - I watch this whenever the finals are on ESPN. It's a lot like gymnastics and synchronized swimming. A lot like it.

Texas Hold Em - It's on ESPN so much, I feel like it is already an Olympic Sport.

Paintball - If they won't let them shoot at each other with real guns, give them paint guns.

Just a few of these proposed sports and I would take vacation to watch this on television.

Golden Corral.....aka: The Meat Trough

2008-07-22T20:17:00.003-05:00

We went out to eat tonight. Nothing new about that. We missed an exit and missed the restaurant we were going for.....ended up passing Golden Corral. We hadn't been for awhile. It's a "well traveled" restaurant here in the Temple/Belton metroplex. We weren't picky tonight. We thought we'd give it a whirl.

First warning things were not going to be swell: The line a the register was 15 people deep. Most of them were in danger of actually dying IN the line. Luckily, they did not. But the way they were signing their credit card slips, you had to wonder if it was going to be soon. The poor kid at the register was brand spanking new. The old man behind us in line wasn't helping calm his acne-filled world by saying things like "I don't know why it takes him so long to open up the register! It tells him what to push. Can't he READ? Did he go to SCHOOL?" People were giving him coupons for buy-one-get-one free for up to $9.00. Turns out, the price is $9.95. He was asking for help. The others that worked there were looking at him like he was a homeless guy asking for Mad Dog.

We finally got through the line with our drinks and plates and wandered through the maze of walkers, diapered kids, and mullets to find a table that was somewhat clean (because really - Lysol is not beating down their door to be a corporate sponsor). First stop - Salad bar. Is that potato salad? Or it could be crab salad. Do you have any lettuce that was cut this week? Is that SUPPOSED to be in the ceasar dressing? It was a struggle, but I was able to eek together a respectable salad.

Second round: Meat and potatoes. Mmm....Bourbon chicken? Sorry....we're making more. Crab cakes? Making more. Steak? Want rare? No. You'll have to wait. All these other rednecks like it rare and we can't keep it on the grill long enough to even smell medium. Mashed potatoes? Yeah. Like THATS going to last more than 30 seconds on the buffet at Night of the Living Fat. We have some old gravy that even the people that can't see know is too dangerous to actually eat. There's pasta and some kind of "sauce"....although you have to be brave enough to stick the ladle down far enough into the clear liquid (is it grease? Is it gasoline?) to see what that is under the semi-clear broth. I was able to get some carrots, the last of the cauliflower, green beans, red beans and rice, and I felt like I had won the Homeless lottery when a crabcake was flung off the grill onto the lukewarming tray before any kind of bell went off in the food-zombies.

Back to the table. Crab cake was good. No wonder they make one every 30 minutes. Gotta keep them coming back for more. Vegetables were well steamed beyond any nutritional value just like good buffet food should be. Red beans and rice......mmmm. But wait. In New Orleans they have a thing called King Cake....where they stick a hard plastic baby in it. Whoever gets the baby gets good luck for the next year (and a broken molar). It seems like this is Golden Corral's version of King Cake. Except instead of a hard plastic baby, they have hard grains of rice. And instead of just one, half of them are hard. We couldn't decide if it was over cooked or not cooked at all. Actually, we didn't want to decide.

One last shot at an actual meal before dessert. The soup and baked (well....boiled) potato bar. I was lucky again! Three brand spaking new foil-wrapped potatoes just it the warmish tray. I was able to get some butter, cheese, and some stuff that I was led to believe MIGHT be sour cream onto it. Off to grab my soup bowl. Soups of the night......the sign says Clam Chowder and Gumbo. Clam Chowder sounds good......but.....I didn't know you could put a pie crust on top of chowder......that's not pie crust. Nobody has touched this spoon in this stuff since 10 am yesterday morning. Clams deserve better. And I'm pretty sure I have never had white gumbo. I don't know what kind of gumbo it was.....but I'm telling myself it was mislabeled to I can keep my crab cake down. I got a potato, let's see if I can hit up the steak guy at the right time. Getting in line is a competition. It's like jumping into the jumpropes in double-dutch. Mis-time it and you're gonna get slapped in the face. Time it right and it's like you are dancing with the stars (if the stars had whooping cough and a bad case of mange).

I was lucky. I caught some steaks past their rare stage. "Medium please"......"Is that medium enough for you?" "I didn't know red and bleeding was medium. Let's try well done" My medium is their well done I guess. Steak was actually something I would have been happy with at a real restaurant. I guess it's hard to screw up throwing cow on a hot surface.

Dessert. There was something called "chocolate pudding"....but I won't even comment further. I was perplexed at the attempt at a thing called "volcano cake." I have an idea at what they were going for. One of those cakes that oozes chocolate when you cut into it. Except this was 80% ooze and 20% cake. I wasn't sure what the ooze was. I passed. I ended up getting the frozen white milk from the machine with some caramel on it. Honestly, I was just ready to end the adventure.

Honestly, I think that's what it's going to be like when the end is near. Twenty dollars to fight old people for the last piece of dried up fried okra.

The 300 year old couple with their 100 year old granddaughter sitting next to us had the comment of the night. The old man had a button down dress shirt with the sleeves cut off......ala Larry the CableDead. Something that had my wife crying in tears:

"Momma. Marlin got married."
"Who?"
"Marlin."
"In prison?"
"Yeah. In prison."

Welcome to the Meat Trough

Well Overdue for a post of something.....

2008-07-09T21:15:00.009-05:00

What a long day this has been. Not a bad day. Just long. Work has been a little busy......errr.....stressful......let's just say, work sucks. I like my job, and I love the people I work with. But the last three months have been tough. Lots of people buying houses and wanting a lot of things installed in a short time. Deadlines deadlines deadlines. I'm tired and I deserve to be.

As a reward for our hard work over the last three months, our gracious leader decided to give us a bonus. A guided fishing trip on Lake Belton. I would have preferred money or even the day off, but it was a nice gesture. I've lived here for a year and a half and we live 2 miles from the lake. We have been to the lake park once. So, I didn't mind a little trip on the lake.

I'm not much of a fisherman though. And being on a boat with our owner in the hot sun all day wasn't really as appetizing as I would like it to be. But, not complaining. I had to go out late last night and get a one day fishing license. Stocked my little cooler with some water, gatorade, etc and got geared up.

Was up at 5 am. Had to meet at 5:45 to be there by 6 am. By 6:15 everyone had showed up and we were 30 minutes late. Still....6:30 is pretty early. Our captain got us set up and off we went. It was pretty cool. The sun was just rising and the temperature on the lake was a lot cooler than I expected. I had forgotten how beautiful the lake really is. You get used to only seeing certain parts and getting bored seeing the same thing. But on the boat, you get to see all the nooks and crannies (and lake houses). We enjoyed our 15 minute trip out to the fishing spot.

Once we got there, our captain set us up with about 3 fishing poles each. We didn't cast...we just dropped the bait in the water, pulled twelve times on the line so that it sank to about 40 feet deep and set the pole in the little holder and waited.

Thirty minutes later, our boat was full of white striped bass. It really wasn't fishing. It was catching. The limit is 5 fish a person. We got that in no time. We caught some other kind of fish (I can't even tell you what it was....looked the same to me). But, by 7:30 we were back at the pier. So much for my day off in the swealtering heat. Sun was barely over the cliffs. Our captain cleaned and cut all the fish and we were out of there by 8:15. I'm sure he charges about $100 a person. He's making one hell of a profit.

All in all, it was fun. I just wish it would have lasted longer. It was nice fishing with everybody and talking about something other than problems at work. We still talked about problems at work, but it didn't seem to matter.

Before we left, my brother was talking to the captain about wanting to buy a boat and get out on the lake more often. He said gas prices had really lessened the traffic on the lake. In the 30 minutes we were out, he said we used up 20 gallons of gas. My brother said, "That leaves me out of the boat race!" And then the captain said something to him that made my brother grin from ear to ear. A saying that will live on in our locker room talks for years to come:

The captain said - "Son. Let me give you a little bit of advice:
If it flys, floats, or f@#&s - Rent it."

Pao de Queijo

2008-05-21T18:46:00.009-05:00

What is Pao de Queijo you ask? I'm glad you asked, because I'm going to tell you. How convenient is that? It's a Brazilian staple. It's their national biscuit so-to-speak. It's commonly eaten for breakfast with coffee, although I've only had it with dinner. One of the greatest dinners of all time - Fogo De Chao.

My friends are probably sick of hearing about this place. All you can eat meat. And every bite is worth every expensive penny. But probably the best part of it isn't the meat at all - it's the complimentary Pao de Quiejo. The recipe is no secret. The problem has been the ingredients (or ingredient). See, it's made with Tapioca flour. There really is no substitute. Problem is, it's hard to find. Well.....today I found it. I bought all they had. I rushed home and BAM - my version is in the oven. Here is my journey (The recipe):
Ingredients:
2 cups Tapioca flour
1 cup milk
1/2 cup butter
2 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups parmasean cheese.

Step 1 - Mix the butter, salt, and milk. Bring to a boil.

Step 2 - Take off the heat and slowly add the Tapioca flour slowly. Stir constantly. You will end up with a gooey mess. But it smells kinda good.

Step 3 - Add the two eggs and cheese. Mix until smooth. Wel....you're supposed to mix until smooth, but it isn't easy. Lumpy is o.k. It will be very very sticky.

Step 4 - Heat oven to 400 degrees. Spoon the mix into mini-muffin tins. I used the extra parmasean cheese and sprinkled it on top of the mix.

Step 5 - Bake for about 20 minutes....until the tops start to turn golden brown.

Step 6 - Eat while hot. Srsly. Hot is best. The outside is golden brown and crispy. The inside is gooey chewy goodness.

The verdict - They are AWESOME. They aren't exactly like the ones that I get at Fogo, but in a way they're better. The cheese hardened up and got TASTY with the muffin tins. I think without the muffin tins, they would have been good too. I've got enough Tapioca flour for 6 more batches. THUMBS UP!

The first fun weekend in a LONG time

2008-05-04T21:30:00.010-05:00

About once a month (or so), my wife and I make a little trip about an hour away to "the city." That city happens to be Austin, but it could be any city really. Some day we'll get back to Houston for a weekend. One day we'll do Dallas. But, Austin is close and easy to get to and back from in a day. We usually have the same routine - Grocery shopping at HEB Central Market, and lunch or dinner at a nice-ish restaurant. We decided this time to mix it up a little. We left early and decided to see some sights.

First up - The state capitol. I'm a huge fan of Texas History and haven't been to the capital in a long time.
The rotunda is just as pretty as the National capital. We had fun looking at all the paintings of all the history. Stephen F. Austin, Sam Houston, Davey Crockett, Battle of the Alamo, Battle of San Jacinto, all the govenors (Ma Furgeson, George Bush, Ann Richards....). We saw the Senate and the House and nosed around in a few places we probably shouldn't have been. But it was fun.

Then we went to the Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum. That placed rocked. I already knew a lot of the history, but I loved the way it was all presented. We spent a good three hours looking around. They had a really cool display on the battle at the Alamo and San Jacinto, the oil industry, NASA. We stuck around long enough to see a 3D IMAX movie. The movie sucked, but the 3D was about as cool as anything else we saw.

After a butt-load of Texas history, we decided to do our little grocery shopping trip. This time, we decided to go to the world headquarters of Whole Foods. They even had a escalator that was flat so you could take your grocery basket down into the parking garage. That's cool on many levels. It was a little disappointing. Everything was SO expensive. We got some special marinade, some cashew butter, some organic root beer....a few other things. We were just HUNGRY so we decided to head to "our restaurant" a little early.

That's right. We headed back to the best restaurant of all time - Fogo De Chao. The salad bar, the AWESOME cheese-bread balls, and the 17 different kinds of meat they bring around. One of the managers recognized us and came over and made sure we were well taken care of. He used to work in Houston and worked his way up the ladder. We were glad to hear he was one of the big shots in Austin now. My wife had bunches of the lamb chops. My favorite was the garlic beef. We usualy get the dessert - the papaya cream - but we did something last time that we just couldn't pass up. We headed next door.

We had our dessert at the Melting Pot. Since we got to the restaurant early, we finished early enough to have half price dessert at The Melting Pot. Dark chocolate with strawberries, cheesecake, marshmellows, rice-crispy treats, brownies, pound cake......It really is my wife's favorite thing. Having these two restaurants next to each other is going to kill us one day. Either physically, or kill my pocket book. My wife decided that it was such a good day, she was going to order a cocktail (that....and I told her I was paying for everything). She got the Ying-yang drink. It was good. Tasted like a milk-shake.

Any chance of a buzz was slim with all the food we had just consumed. I think I ate so much, I bruised my stomach. But, we wrapped it up and made it back home - fat and happy, ready to teach a Texas History course on the college level. It was a good day. When I got home, I realized I had made a great error. In order to duplicate the OUTSTANDING cheese bread balls that Fogo De Chao makes, I needed to get Tapioca flour at Whole Foods. I forgot. Now I'm screwed until I can go back. Oh well. I won't forget again.

SUNDAY
We start most Sundays at Wal-Mart and picked up our staple items (damn....no tapioca flour). I had to help one of my salespeople at the office by going by one of the houses and meeting a potential homebuyer. After that, the day was ours. We went to the Wings Over Central Texas Air Show. It was awesome. There was an F-16 Jet that put on an awesome show. They did the TORA TORA TORA re-enactment and blew up a bunch of stuff. We ate bad food and sat in the sun all day. Honestly, I took a lot more pictures of the air-show than anything else....but this blog post is over now.

Add It to my Pet Peeve List:

2008-04-05T21:58:00.001-05:00

Several of my online friends know of my pet peeves:

1. Putting groceries away
2. Kraft mac and cheese should be followed by the box recipe
3. Fake people
......there are a bunch more. But - a couple really flared up today. I had to go to work today. That included a trip to Home Depot to get supplies for a really important house that I'm finishing.

At Home Depot I had to get a few specific things - a broom, some weatherstripping, and some lightbulbs. The first problem is they were having a "Build a planter" seminar for kids (and most of the kids where 6 months to 1 year old???). There must have been 20 babies there. So, I go to check out and guess how many checkouts are open? ONE. On a Saturday. For the whole store. Three people in front of me buying one and two things a piece. The carts were just large strollers. Of course each one had an item that either wasn't priced right and somebody had to go check, or they needed assistance to carry something to the car (which Home Depot doesn't really do....or they don't know they do), or they wanted to discuss their Home Depot credit card bill with the cashier. Really? You're going to do that at the register with Syndee with jewelry in her nose and cheek? That's your financial advisor? I'll wait. I complained. The manager looked at me like I was waking him up from a standing nap.

It took me 7 minutes to get the stuff I needed and 45 minutes to check out.

In the car, I figured the worst part of my day was over. Then I pulled out in traffic. Now - I moved out of the city of Houston to the sprawling three red light town of Belton to get away from traffic. And there is no comparason. It is 100 times better. But my big request to the drivers of small town America - "When you get in the car - at least ACT like you know where you are going."

If your left turn blinker is on - I am going to assume you are going to turn left - OR, I'll even let it slide if you are just going straight. But DONT stop in the middle of a road, inch the car to the left and at the last second jerk the car to the right. No accident, but it happened in front of me THREE times.

If I am in the left turn lane with my blinker on and you are coming the opposite way down the road and you want to turn right onto the same street as I do - JUST GO! Don't stop and wait for me. The people behind you get PISSED OFF. And once you make the decision to go - GO! Don't inch around the corner. The quicker you get out of my way, I can go behind you.

I swear - From the time I left the house till the time I got home, there was a car doing 20 miles an hour in front of me.

And finally, tonight my wife were out walking our dog. The sun had just set and it was cool and quiet. I heard the car from a mile away. I heard it come into the neighborhood. It came down our little street doing at least 70 miles an hour. If I had something to throw at it, I would have. I scared my wife. I may die one day confronting whoever does that. It seriously makes my blood boil. Dogs, kids, me - somebody is going to get hurt.

Ok. I'm done.

American Idol - Handicapping the Field

2008-03-03T18:09:00.002-06:00

I watch a lot of television. Most of it, I could live without. Reality TV has become a blur to me. All the shows are the same. Some that I thought I would love until the end of time have become humdrum - Big Brother, Survivor, Amazing Race. But there is one that I watch. It's not my favorite, but I think I could be a great judge or producer on the show.

American Idol.

This year's contestants aren't any better than the years past. There are a few that shouldn't be on there. There are a few that didn't make it that could have gone very far. I've done the research and I'm here to handicap the winners before the final 12 are announced.

1. David Archuleta (2-5) There hasn't been this heavy of a favorite since Fantasia. He has everything that is needed to win this competition - talent, aw-shucks attitude, boyishly good looks, experience. Even with an occasional off week, I think it's his to lose. Get used to hearing his name. He's our next David Cassidy.
Who will vote for him: Every screaming teenage girl. A million times. And their grandmothers
His strength: Talent and cuteness
His weakness: That cuteness may annoy America before the contest is over.

2. Carley Smithson (6-1) The accent actually hurts her chances. But, she's talented enough to win if things fall the right way (Like Archuleta getting hit by a bus). There are a couple of things she has to overcome. 1) The tattoos - Many people like tattoos. Many MANY more don't. She needs to cover up. More importantly - keep her boyfriend OFF CAMERA! His face is covered in tattoos and he's quite scary looking. Eventually, all family gets plastered on the TV. Hopefully she's smart and keeps him in his cage. 2) She was already on a record label. She should never mention it again. America wants to feel like they helped discover somebody. She was already discovered and now she's USING Americans to be famous again.
Who will vote for her: Yuppie adults who listen to Norah Jones type music
Her strength: Amazing vocal talents
Her weakness: A little too alternative and dark for the masses

3. Michael Johns (7-1) Is it me, or does he look like he should have been on the show 6 years ago? He's got the looks, the pipes, and the experience to do well. I think the girls like the Aussie accent. I think that's the opposite for Carley Smithson.
Who will vote for him: Every single female that isn't voting for Archuleta.
His strenth: Performing power and vocals
His weakness: Cockiness personified. He thinks he's already won.

4. Brooke White (10-1) She looks a lot older than she actually is (She's 23 I think). It was appropriate that she sang a Carley Simon song, because I think that's her niche. She's a good performer, but I think in the long run her "goody-two-shoes" personality will rub some of us sinners the wrong way. She's the one that's never seen an R-rated movie. It's not like losing your virginity. It's a movie.
Who will vote for her: Hippie tree huggers and coffee house types
Her strength: Wholesomeness and happiness
Her weakness: Wholesomeness and happiness. Nobody is that good all the time.

5. David Hernandez (12-1) If you are a gambler, here's your horse. He's capable of catching fire and winning it all. He is also capable of catching fire and burning to the ground in one song. He is way too focused and lacks off stage personality. But, when he's singing, he's as good as all of them. He has to be very careful with his song choices and make it look like it's all fun and not as much work.
Who will vote for him: Young post-college married couples and successful urban Americans.
Strengths: A verbato that will rock your socks off
Weakness: Personality is a little dry

6. Jason Castro: (16-1) Speaking of no off-stage personality..... His montage last week did him no favors at all. He can't answer the simple questions in interviews. How will he handle fame and success. He's very talented and has the most unique look and sound of all the contestants. He comes across and 100% about the music and 0% about the business end of the industry. America also doesn't understand dreadlocks in the long run. The'll have to come of eventually for him to win....and at this point, I think if he cut them off, his core fans wouldn't vote for him.
Who will vote for him: Hippies (most don't even own a TV) and coffee shop potheads.
Strengths: Unique and not the "cookie cutter" performer
Weaknesses: Confidence and personality when he's not singing.

7. Chickezie (16-1) Being the only black male performer is going to help him. Knowing that he got cut last year and he fought back and worked hard is going to help him. But, he needs to humble up a little. The orange suit performance was fine....but he needs to look like a performer his voting block would vote for. He's most like a skinnier Ruben Studdard....or at least he needs to be. Some of the handicappers have him a lot lower than this. I think they underestimate the power of the R&B vote.
Who will vote for him: Luther Vandross and R&B fans.
Strengths: Likable personality
Weakness: He thinks he's a little better than he actually is.

8. Asia'h Epperson (20-1) I see a little Latoya London in her. She's got a backstory that I'm sure has helped her. She hasn't found her stride yet and needs to find that song that tells America who she is. I'm not sure what kind of singer she wants to be. I should know that by now.
Who will vote for her: Whitney Houston fans
Strengths: Great performer and surprisingly good vocals
Weakness: Seems to get lost in the middle of the pack. Not the worst each week, but not the best either.

9. David Cook (24-1) After the auditions, he was the odds on favorite to win it. Then during Hollywood week, he struggled a little. Turns out, Michael Johns does a better David Cook impersonation than David Cook does. I get the two of them confused even. It would be easy for him to do something that really wows the audience, but he needs to do it quickly so he can gain some momentum. Reminds me a little of Constitine from a couple of years ago.
Who will vote for him: Alternative-rocker types
Strengths: Unique from anybody else.....
Weakness: .....except for Michael Johns.

10. Syesha Mercado (25-1) Miss Photogenic of the competition. She has the look of someone that will be successful with or without Idol. She sang "Me and Mr. Jones" last week. A song about two married people having an affair. Not really a great song for a young girl to sing AND she changed the title of the song. Much like David Cook, she was the favorite coming out of the auditions and hasn't lived up to her billing in the last two weeks. She still has a lot of time to get it back though.
Who will vote for her: Adult contemporary types.
Strengths: Upbeat personality
Weakness: Hasn't lived up to expectations. Inconsistent.

11. Ramiele Malubay (30-1) - Nice, cute, petite little girl. I'm sure she's a sweet person, but as I read someplace "She reeks of the middle of the pack." She bawled after week one when the herd was thinned for the first time. Much like Jason Castro, she lacks that "killer instinct" to win it all. She is consistently average. She reminds me of the Hawaiian girl from a couple seasons back. Originally I said she wouldn't make the final 12. It's still very possible she won't, but she might have a big enough fan-base to make it one more week.
Who will vote for her: Asians and young "club" kids
Strengths: Cute
Weakness: Too shy and nice for this level of cutthroat nastiness

12. Amanda Overmeyer (150-1) - Does she sneak in to the final twelve? I think she can. She's by far the most different from all other contestants. She's on the wrong show, first of all. A female rocker can't win this show. For all the people that love her, there are twice as many that don't understand and/or hate her. Somebody in LA should donate some hair dye. I don't mind the "rocker" look, but the hair is just scary. I'm sure, somewhere, she is keeping the blonde bangs to be alternative. There's a fine line between alternative and stubborn to a fault. She has no chance to win.
Who will vote for her: Alternative rocker chicks
Strengths: Much like last year's beat-boxer, she's super-unique
Weakness: She can't really sing. She just rocks it. What will she ever do on Barry Manillow night

There are four more people currently on the show that could get in:
Luke Menard - The Luke Perry look-a-like. Too pretty for Idol. He should go on America's Next Top Model. I don't think he stands a chance of winning this week, even if he's the best singer.
Danny Noriega - I HOPE he makes it in. He's the "theater kid"/gay kid with the combative but playful personality. He needs to sing a song this week that is up-tempo with some big notes. Anything less, and he's the odd man out (and I use that term loosely)

Kristie Lee Cook - Idol has profiled her enough that she has a good chance to get through on her story alone. The tomboy, smoking hot, cowgirl. Problem is, she just blends in to the crowd like so many of the other pretty, but average ability, girls. I want her to stay in, and there's a better possiblity of her making it than the rest of the ones I have not making it. She'd have to replace Amanda or Remiele.
Kady Malloy - The Britney impersonator. How do I know? She's doing it whenever she's on camera. The problem is her Brit is better than her Kady. She hasn't really done anything to deserve getting in the top 12. Her impersonation might carry her through. No matter what, I think she'll be hosting a show on the TV guide channel in 10 minutes.

Ok. My blog is updated.

2008-02-22T22:42:00.002-06:00

Things I hate:

2008-01-27T10:28:00.000-06:00

It's been a tough week. I've had my 46" Sony HD LCD Television and Playstation 3 with Blu-Ray and Medal of Honor 4 to get me through it, but a tough week nonetheless. I've been writing a blog entry in my head all week, and now that I'm typing it in, I've forgotten most of it.

Things I hate:
- Static electricity. It's one of the worst things I can think of. It's like God's practical joke on me. When I'm least expecting it - WHACK! If I could take a pill that would eliminate the chance of getting shocked and I had to mow the yard every day as a consequence, I think I'd do it (and I hate mowing the yard).

- Meetings. I really don't mind the meetings that are necessary to distribute important information. But, I hate the meetings that we have to talk about the things that we want to talk about at the next meeting about the meeting that we had last week about talking about starting to think about doing something about things. Some of them are two hours and I feel like the only useful information I gained is what everybody will be doing over the weekend.

- Some assembly required. We got our new TV last Sunday. And a new Playstation. But, I couldn't plug it in until we (we meaning me only) put together the new TV stand. Nice one at Walmart (I know....unusual). "Some assembly required." I pulled it in the house, took it all out of the box. Found box 1 of the hardware. Didn't seem like alot. Read the instructions. Hmmm....I'm missing box 2. It should have been in there. Went through all the garbage. Backtracked. Nope. Missing. Instructions say do NOT take it back to where we bought it. I couldn't get it back in the box if I wanted to at this point. So, to the website we go. Send off an e-mail and get a "confirmation" e-mail back that they received mine telling me I would get another within 24 hours. We're now at a week and nothing. My wife is in charge of calling but the recording says that if we've sent an E-mail that we should not call. Whatever - I'm ready to burn it in the fireplace and go buy a new one at this point. Our $2000 TV is sitting on an old hope chest. I hope it doesn't cave in - that's all I'm saying.

- People who don't know how to leave a message. If you call me and I don't answer, there is one of three situations going on at that moment. 1) I am away from my phone. 2) Whatever I'm doing is more important than taking a phone call. 3) I don't want to talk to you. All three can be solved by leaving a message and waiting. Why do you keep calling back? I know you think it's important, but really. It's not. Nobody is in route to the hospital, nothing is burning. So you keep calling three, four, five times. By the time I answer, the answer to your question is probably not going to be the answer you were looking for.

That's enough for now. I do feel better though.

Carless! (Or Truckless)

2008-01-12T22:24:00.000-06:00

For the first time in my adult life, I am not an automobile owner. And that is a GOOD thing.

My first car was a Subaru Impreza. I researched it for months. I found out the dealer got $1000 for selling it to me, so I offered him $500 less that what he paid. He laughed at me. I told him what I knew and I would go to every Subaru guy in the city to get the deal. He let me get in my car and then he came out and told me to come in and sign the papers. It was the best car buying experience of my lifetime.

Because the next time, I got cocky and needed a truck. I was talked into a "Smart Buy!" That Smart Buy was the dumbest thing I've ever done. It was basically a lease. When I traded in that truck, I had to pay THOUSANDS in mileage and wear and tear. That money rolled in to my next truck. I drove it into the ground and was able to get another.......

Which leads to today. I owed about $6400 on it. It had a lot of miles. I could list about ten things wrong with it but I kept my mouth shut when I walked into CarMax. I would have told them if they would have let me. But, they were too busy telling me how they operated. They offered about $2000 more than I owed and we Danced out of the dealership.

Now I have no truck or car that I own. I have a company truck. I'm pretty sure I won't get fired this week. So....I'm taking the money and getting a big screen! We were looking at cheap 46 in sets. Now we're looking at good 52 inch sets. I'm excited about that.

Christmas - Redneck Style

2007-11-28T21:06:00.000-06:00

(FIRST - Turn off my music player above before playing the video below. That's important)

I don't really miss living in Houston at all. I miss my friends. I miss being able to eat "anywhere on the planet" with all the great restaurants Houston has. But I finally found something this week that I didn't expect to miss. I miss the way my old house was built because of the way I was able to put up my Christmas lights. It was a corner lot and I was able to make it really pretty. I had a "light show" that let it fade off and on and people stopped and loved it.

This year, with the new house, I've struggled. The front of the house doesn't have as much going on so I'm limited with what I can put up. So.....I've decided to go all out. I've White-Trashed it up as far as I can go, and I'm going further as soon as I get to a store.

You know you're Christmas lights are good when people stop and ask "How'd you do that?"

(You can BARELY hear the sound.....I'll update it again tomorrow night when I can turn the speakers up louder)

Cool isn't it? It wasn't really hard. I got a thing called GE's Lights and Sounds of Christmas. It was kinda expensive, but I don't care. It plays 40 different songs. I talked to my neighbors tonight and made sure they were o.k. with it. We'll see....they all seemed like they thought it was cool.

I couldn't be happier. I don't mind the attention. Lori.....ehh.....she could take it or leave it.

Saturday Morning Random Thoughts

2007-11-17T07:33:00.000-06:00

Been awhile since I blog posted. Not much to say. Working hard at my new job. I'm enjoying it as much as I possibly can be. Like any job, there are aspects that I don't like, and if I won the lottery, I don't think I'd keep working - but I'm enjoying the freedom they give me to make decisions. Something I'm still getting used to. That's my only real update.

- I'm 38 now. My birthday was Tuesday. It wasn't anything awesome. My mom cooked me dinner (pot-roast) and it was nice being near her house so she could do that. But, Brent was sick and at the pharmacy, my SIL and niece were at a basketball game, and the baby hadn't had a nap and was determined to be the grumpiest kid on the planet. After I got home, I found out my aunt had passed away. That sucked.

- My Aunt Dianne passed away. My mother's brother's wife. She was an interesting woman. My aunt and uncle live about 2 miles from where we live now, in my grandparents old house. We saw them at church and at my parents house for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but with her health ailments, we didn't see them as much as we should. She was like a cat. She had more than 9 lives. Diabeties, kidney problems, she fell awhile back and broke her neck. We've heard she was on death's door on Wednesday and she'd walk in to church on Sunday looking fine. She was on dialysis but she still went to the casinos in Louisiana every month. Finally, it was the kidneys that got her. I feel bad for my uncle.

- I'm taking my uncle with us to the Mary-Hardin Baylor football game today. Never heard of Mary-Hardin Baylor? It's a small private school here in Belton. It's one of the top schools in the country, though. AND, their football team is ranked number4 in the country (for division III schools). They're in the playoffs. My father LOVES to follow them. I think the games are kinda boring because UMHB always scores 40 in the first quarter and puts in their scrubs. Maybe today will be different.

- My two year wedding anniversary is Monday. We're going to Austin tonight to eat dinner. Lori doesn't know where yet. We're going to the Melting Pot - a fondue restaurant. To be honest, the prospect of cooking my food in boiling broth on my table doesn't sound like it's going to blow me away. But, Lori and I are on a food adventure, and this is an adventure we have not experienced yet. There was a Melting Pot in Houston and we never went. There was always an old standby restaurant that we would rather go to. They have something called "The Big Night Out." It's very expensive but it includes everything. How can I not order that. I'm excited because I am not allowed to surprise Lori with the restaurant very often.

- I'm really digging the new band Sugarland (they may not be new, but they're new to me). I saw them on the CMA awards and got their CD. Every song is good. I bet if I go buy their first CD, I won't like it.

- I'm on a bad movie kick recently. Bad Eddie Murphy movies - right now I'm watching The Golden Child ("I..I...I..I....want the kniiiifffffeeeee"). I watched WarGames and InnerSpace earlier this morning. Tremors comes on soon I think. This week, I've watched The Goonies, Pump Up The Volume.

- I have a sore throat this morning. My dad, my brother, and Mackenzie were all sick this week. I'll consider it a birthday present from them all.

That's it for this morning. I need to go do something exciting so that I have something to write about.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-26T23:35:00.000-05:00

End of the month. The word of the month has been "stress". I am working hard to make sure the word of the month of November is "relax."

I am currently going through a job change that I hope will be the move I've been looking for. I think it is. I will be working side-by-side with my brother as builders. Small-town company with established roots. The last two days, I've been offically "unemployed." I hope that by next week, I'll be permanently home.

So, I decided today to stop thinking about my drama. I went to Walgreens and bought stuff for Halloween. I went to Wal-Mart and got a pumpkin. The results:

I'm pretty proud of it. It's my first Halloween in Belton and I'm looking forward to it. My mother is coming over to my house to pass out candy. She always misses out on it because she lives out in the middle of nowhere and nobody ever comes over there. I'm hoping we have a lot of trick-or-treaters. I got Freckles a costume, but it really didn't fit like it was supposed to. So, I altered it so that she at least has the color-scheme:

Freckles is almost a year old now. She is getting used to her routine now. Up at 5:45 am with mommy. Breakfast at 6. Daddy up after breakfast and a quick walk at 6:30ish. (She loves her walks....no matter how short or long they are). At 7ish, she hides in the corner. Because she used our old furniture as her personal giant chew toys, she goes in the kennel. She doesn't hate the kennel...but I don't think she loves it. Sometimes, grandma or grandpa will come over in the middle of the day and let her stretch her legs. Most days, she's there until 5:30 pm. Dinner right away. Mommy and daddy are usually both home by 6. Playtime from 6 till 7:30 or so. Then, there is usually a long walk around 7:30 or so. Playtime until 10 and then nap until lights out.

My 25 Favorite Rock Bands of All Time

2007-10-21T09:29:00.000-05:00

Several months ago, bored in a hotel room for a few nights, I created a list of my 100 favorite movies of all time. Months later, I'm still pretty satisfied with the order. I left a couple movies off and I would change the order here or there, but not too much. I did it to fill the boredom.

So, today, I'm going to make a list to get my mind off of my stress ball of work. I got a new HD receiver for DirecTv the other day and I got a bunch of new channels....one of them being MTV-HD. They actually play MUSIC! I have the playlist at the top of my blog now. I've forced music to the front of my brain to distract me from other stresses.

So, my list of the top 25 Rock and Roll bands of all time. I set myself some rules. The focus is on "bands" more than it is "artist." I allowed myself one exception (see below) because his band changed over the years but is iconic and still stands the test of time. I'm fans of people like Bryan Adams and Robert Palmer. But, I left them off the list. I didn't do a lot of research thinking of bands. I listed everything off the top of my head and came up with 25 pretty quickly. I left some pretty important bands off my list (i.e. The Rolling Stones, The Who) and some are very low down the list because I wasn't ever on their bandwagon. Most of the bands are WAY higher on mine than most people's list, but that's by design. I believe music is very personal. I get frustrated at copy-cat bands and commercial radio for force feeding the same noises into my head whereever I go.

25-T. KISS - I remember fighting with my father on long trips on which 8-Track we were going to put in to listen to. He liked the Four Seasons. I didn't know why, but I liked KISS. It was before I really knew what music was. But I knew that I liked it. He usually let me win and listen to Dr. Love and Rock and Roll all Night.

25-T. Led Zepplin - I decided that they belong on my list. But, I'm not a huge fan. I had a roommate once that could possibly be the biggest fan of all time. He owned every recording they ever made (legal or illegal). I didn't even know who they were when they were popular. I've grown to respect their music. But, I think sometimes their music is sloppy.

24. Rush - There was a time that I would have said they were in my top 10. Then, in 1988, I went to the Astrodome to see them headline the Monsters of Rock concert. Gary Moore, Bryan Adams, .38 Special, Ozzy Osbourne, and Rush in a day long concert. Everybody else blew me away. Rush kept the crowd waiting two hours so they could finish watching a playoff hockey game backstage. They're set was pretty crappy. I still think they have one of the greatest sounds in music and all three are super talented. Because of Neil Pert, I wanted to be a drummer.

23. Nirvana - I was never a big grunge fan. But, I liked Smelled Like Teen Spirit. I liked the attitude on stage. I just hate when bands hate their success. This is one of my wife's favorite bands. She'll be upset their so far down my list.

22. Boston - I LOVE their sound. I missed a chance to see them at a Mosters of Rock concert in Dallas in the early 90's and I've always regretted it.

21. .38 Special - This is one of those "sleeper bands" that everybody kinda knows but not really. When I saw them in concert, the thing that stood out to me was that they had TWO drummers on stage. I think they're very underrated. I appreciate their music now more as an adult then I did back then.

20. Pink Floyd - They'd be higher on my list if I took drugs. They have some great great anthem songs. I saw them in concert in Rice Stadium once in Houston and a huge lightning and thunder storm rolled through and they had to cancel it halfway through. But that half of concert was amazing. It was almost like Mother Nature supplied the light show.

19. Bon Jovi - When I was a kid, it was a little embarrassing to be a fan of Bon Jovi. He was a pretty boy. But his band has stood the test of time. The hits of the 80's are still just as relevant today. Slippery When Wet is one of the greatest albums of the 80's. I never thought that it was when it came out. It is now.

18. Metallica - My wife's all time favorite. I've seen them in concert several times. They always opened for other people when I did. A little too "hard" for my taste growing up. But, they put on a great show and Sandman is one of my favorite songs. Sometimes I wish they'd just shut up and sing, but I guess that's just the times of today.

17. Guns N' Roses - I had more fun at their concerts growing up than I did at any others. People got CRAZY. Welcome to the Jungle was a change of gears into real rock and roll. It's a shame Axle Rose is such a piece of crap. They'd still be awesome if they weren't such idiots.

16. AC/DC - The loudest band I've ever heard. This is one of the rare bands that I enjoy listening to more on the CD than I do in concert. Angus Young flailing about the stage gets old after a couple of songs. But they so many great songs that everybody knows by heart.

15. Queen - I struggled on where to put Queen on this list. I have several of their CD's and I love the same songs that everybody else does. But the reason I like Queen is a CD called Innuendo. I listened the plastic off of that CD when it came out. None of the songs were commercially successful, but I think the whole CD is brilliant. It was one of their last ones. I watched the tribute concert to Freddie Mercury a few years later. They were as important to rock music as any other band.

14. U2 - Old U2. I'm not a fan of the new U2. I really can't stand Bono. I have a BIG problem with famous people (actors and musicians) thinking that because they are famous that I care about what they think about political issues. Shut up and sing. Back in the 80's, with the Joshua Tree, U2 was just singing and making great music. I've seen them in concert and admit that they put on a great show. I miss the old U2 though.

13. The Police - Every Breath You Take, Roxanne. They have so many songs that I know by heart after all these years. It's too bad their egos got in the way of their music. But, I don't know if they could of captured that lightning in a bottle again.

12. Genesis - I was a big Phil Collins fan growing up. But, Genesis played the Astrodome on the I Can't Dance tour one summer and I had 4th row tickets. Everybody knows their hits. A lot of people know the rest of their music and don't even know that they do. Every song was good.

11. Scorpions - Rock Me Like a Hurricane! I don't have any personal story to relate to with this band. They just rocked. I saw them two or three times in concert. I just love their sound and all that guitar playing.

10. Whitesnake - They had Saints and Sinners, then Slow and Easy that came out around the time I was starting high school. They were cool albums (yeah....album...it was before CDs). But then in 1987, they came out with their album called 1987. I bought the cassette actually. Side one of that cassette became my theme music for my junior and senior year of high school. Still of the Night, Bad Boys, Give me All Your Love, Looking for Love, Crying in the Rain, and Is This Love. The other side of the tape had Here I Go again. Back when I wasn't very cool, this tape helped me be cool enough sometimes.

9. ZZ Top - Being from Houston, I am required to have this band in my top ten. I don't mind. I think they kick ass. There is no other band like them in the world. They've always played exactly what they wanted to and luckily, people like it. They put on one of the longest, greatest concerts of all time....every night. They aren't like some of the other bands on this list that will get in fights and break up over their success. They just have fun playing music.

8. Eagles - One of my best friends would dis-own me as a friend for not having them as my number one. He used to get tickets all over Texas when they played. Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio. We used to travel to see them play. I usually took the girl I was dating at the time so I have some pretty great memories of their concerts and the weekends we went. The weather was always perfect. The guitar sound of all their hits. Great memories. I never told my friend this, but I always liked Joe Walsh more than the Eagles.

7. Ozzy Osbourne - Here is my exception. Every other band on this list is the name of a band (I don't count Bon Jovi because if it were his name, the band would be called Jon Bon Jovi). I've seen Ozzy in concert more than any other human. I was a HUGE fan when I was a teenager. It was right after Randy Rhodes was killed. Jake E. Lee was the guitarist and Bark at The Moon was the album out. My mom let me and a friend go to the concert without adult supervision. It was my first experience of what the possibilities of being an irresponsible adult would be like. Say what you want about Ozzy - he isn't a musician - he is an entertainer. I'd go see him again tomorrow if I could get a ticket.

6. Motley Crue - I got to take my little brother to their concert in Houston. It was his first experience as the possibilities of being an irresponsible adult would be like. They filmed the video to Home Sweet Home that night. Much like Guns N' Roses, the crowds at a Motley Crue concert treated it more like Mardi Gras. It was always so much fun. They started great with Shout at The Devil. I think their music got a little less outstanding with each new one....but it was still great.

5. Journey - I'm not too familiar with early Journey music. It was in the 70's when they all had afro's and it was a bit hippy. But, some of the later stuff is woven into our everyday lives. Don't Stop Believin, Open Arms, Faithfully, Any Way You Want It.....their greatest his CD is AWESOME. I even liked playing their video game back in the 80's. I was lucky enough to go to their last tour - Raised on Radio. One of my top 3 concert experiences EVER. Once Steve Perry left, it was over.

(Note: Due to the nature of music, the next four bands could be interchanged as my number 1 at any given time, depending on my mood, the weather, the environment, etc. The order they are today is just how I feel at the moment. These next four bands are essentially tied for number 1)

4. Extreme - If you've noticed, most of the bands on my list are from the 80's. It's when music was part of creating me as a person. Extreme is different. They came around when I was a bit older. There was a time that I knew every word to every song to every album by heart. Do You Want to Play was the song that caught my attention. Then, Pornograffitti came out and I was hooked. Extreme is one of my wife's favorite bands as well. A sign that we were meant to be together. Their downfall was coming out with More Than Words. People who didn't know who they were bought their CD because of that song. More Than Words is NOT the typical Extreme sound. It was unfortunate that the world didn't embrace them.

3. Def Leppard - How can I be a child of the 80s and not have them as one of my favorites? This is another Greatest Hits CD that can't be beat. In the early days, MTV was hitting it's stride and Photograph came out on Pyromania (now THATS a good album). Then Hysteria and then Adrenelize. They didn't pump out new music every year. They let each of their albums become part of pop culture. Their concerts were always awesome. I saw them just recently with some old high school buddies. We drove to Beaumont and saw them in a little civic center. Most of the crowd was older (like us) or there to see the opening act (which was crap). The boys from Def Leppard were just as good 20 years later as they were when we first saw them as teenagers. Isn't that all you're asking of your rock and roll band? Make me feel like I was a teenager again? For those two hours, my friends and I were back in high school.

2. Van Halen - How do you handle Van Halen when you're putting them on a list? David Lee Roth. Sammy Hagar. Is it the same band? Do you split it into two different bands? Screw it. It's all good. I am on the David Lee Roth side if we're picking which Van Halen is better. That's not to say Sammy Hagar's Van Halen wouldn't be right up here at number 1 or 2 on the list. But the first two or three Van Halen albums that came out where life changing. Jamie's Crying, Running With The Devil, Ain't Talkin Bout Love, And The Cradle Will Rock, Unchained, and even Jump and Panama. All those songs are my favorite songs. Eddie's guitar playing made me want to be a rock guitarist. Seeing them in concert was an event. When Sammy came along, the sound changed - not for better or worse - just changed. Why Can't This Be Love will always be my favorite Van Hagar song. Every notebook I had as a kid had the Van Halen logo written on it. I was obsessed. Maybe I still am.

1. Cheap Trick. They are at the top of my list. I understand that they aren't at the top of many list like this. But, if I had to sum up my personality in one rock band - it's Cheap Trick. They're just having fun. My introduction into rock music was the song - She's Tight. I didn't know what it meant at the time. I just knew that it was the greatest thing I had ever heard. Surrender, I Want You to Want Me, Dream Police, Clock Strikes Ten. Robin Zander and Rick Nielsen and Bun E. Carlos. I knew about them when I was too young to know what music was. Once I discovered them, I studied them. They were HUGE in their day.....for some reason, in Japan, they're as big as the Beatles, the Stones....anybody. They don't take themselves too seriously and just have fun with playing. They're who I would want to be if I were in a rock band.

Random thoughts on a quiet Saturday Morning

2007-10-13T07:46:00.000-05:00

I'm up earlier than I should be on a Saturday morning after saying up late the night before. Friday nights are savored right now. See, I'm not enjoying my job here at all. Weekday mornings are hard on me because I worry about what is coming my way. I only breathe easier on my way home because I know I don't have to deal with it for another 12 hours. Fridays, I feel that stress weight lift off my chest temporarily. Usually, Sunday night, I'll start getting that dread feeling in my gut about the upcoming week. I'm working on ways to fixing it. I haven't mentioned it to many people because if I do, I feel like it will consume me.

But, since I'm up on Saturday, I need something to do to keep me from thinking of work. I haven't blogged in weeks. I have a new playlist. I think it's one of the greatest playlist on the internet. Everybody else should delete theirs and put mine up. It's missing 40 or so songs I'd like to put on but aren't available.

So......some things that have been running through my head:

- Rascal Flatts is not country music. Even if it is, it's the same song rearranged and the words changed. Not that its bad.....it's just the same thing over and over. And not country.

- Giada de Larentas looks like that actress on "Yes, Dear". The same lady that was in Mr. Holland's Opus as the talented girl who left to go to Broadway. Giada is hot. So is that actress. My wife thinks it's because she shows her cleavage. Maybe. But I don't think so. I just think she's cute.

- That reminds me. I need to update my "List". The TV show Friends started it. Five people who I can have sex with and my wife can't say anything about it. She gets a list, too. I actually have it written down somewhere. It changes every hour though. Right now, I'd have to put Giada on it (and I think I could get away with that Yes Dear actress and still count as one person), Jennifer Anniston, Jessica Alba (she's new on my list after seeing Good Luck Chuck), Shania Twain, and Charlize Theron. Britany Spears was on my list once. But I've seen her hooter too much. The fantasy is over. I've considered putting the wife on Family Guy on the list. She's kinda slutty.

- I think you can tell a lot of people by their playlist. A lot of Marylin Manson means they are angry and just don't have a place to vent their anger. A lot of Alysia Keys and R&B means they think they are very sexy people (I think they are usually wrong...but who am I to judge). Country with a lot of Tim McGraw, Rascal Flats....they're followers and really will listen to whatever "the man" puts on the radio. For me, with my playlist, I'm a child of the 80's who loves it "unplugged".

- Some of the time, I read about other people's problems on the internet blogs, boards and think "Geez.....quit your bitching. Some of us have real problems." But lately, I've read a lot and thought, "Woah....and I thought I had problems." I've thought about Tigger and Penny and want to create a magic pill to make their problems go away. And I'd like to get "my people" to take care of Missy's little problem.

- This one is to no one in particular - Sometimes, your kid isn't that cute. If you are reading this, I'm probably not talking about your kid. But sometimes, I look at the pictures and feel bad that genes got so screwed up. :)

- I thinkAllison Krauss, Kelly Willis, and Eva Cassidy have three of the prettiest voices on the planet. Period.

- The new TV show Chuck is my favorite new show this season I think. The girl spy on it may go on my List soon. My guilty pleasure is Cavemen...it's better than I thought. I can't stand Carpoolers but my wife loves it. I've tried to like Pushing Daisies, but it's too wierd. I'm patently waiting for Heroes to have the BIG episode. Three more weeks, then I'll be pissed. The Office is my favorite current show.

A little Rant

2007-09-03T10:01:00.000-05:00

I've got myself worked up about something that doesn't really matter. I don't know where to put it. I can't go talk to my wife about it, because frankly, she doesn't give a crap. I could post it here or there, but I don't expect anybody else to give a crap about it either. So, I'm posting it here for nobody to read (or for everybody to read). I need to vent. This will probably be a long and rambling post that loses it's way every paragraph or so. It's my therapy to get through today.

I watched Superbad a few weeks ago and laughed harder than I may have ever laughed watching a film. I saw it by myself. My wife flatly refuses to go see it (and I'm a little miffed by that, seeing that I'll go see any Chick-encrusted-tear-fest that she has her eye on just to make her happy). My brother wanted to see it, so we set aside today to go since his wife and kids are out of town visiting grandma.

I woke up this morning and found that it's not playing at the local movie house. SHIT! My brother and I are good at going to see funny movies. This would have been fun for both of us. I'm hurt and bothered that the Temple, Texas, movie theater has decided not to show the #1 movie in America for drivel like "Daddy Day Camp" and "Stardust".

But that's not why I'm writing this. I'll get over the fact that I may never see Superbad in a theater (oh....I'm not supposed to mention how I saw it in the first place). I decided to go on RottenTomatoes.com and see how everybody else felt about the movie. 88% of reviews thought it was good. That's an awesome amount. Most think, as I do, it could be one of the all time classic funny teen movies.

Then I decided to read a couple of negative reviews to try to understand why somebody would or could hate this movie. I stumbled on to MaryAnn Johansen's review (http://www.flickfilosopher.com/blog/2007/08/superbad_review.html) and now I'm angry.

I hate most movie reviewers that don't find MOST movies great. I love all movies really. Good ones, bad ones, gross ones. As long as the movie delivers on what it's intentions are, it's my own fault if I don't like it because of my personal beliefs. I mean, if I am anti-alcohol drinking, I don't think I have any right to tell other people a movie was bad because somebody was drinking in it.....especially if it's a movie ABOUT drinking.

MaryAnn's review made me mad. First, she's upset that scripts written by 13-year olds who dropped out of high school are being made into blockbuster movies (The writers of Superbad wrote it when they were 13 years old). I don't care if scripts originally penned by the Devil himself are approved....as long as they are genuinely funny and entertaining.

She goes on to compare how low Superbad is by comparing it to Y Tu Mama Tambien (a movie that bored me to tears) and Dazed and Confused (one of my all time favorites) by saying that the writers have no perspective on the adolecent experience. What I think she meant to say is they had no perspective on HER adolecent experience. The writers were geeky 13 year olds writing their fantasy gone wrong so that it would be funny.

She finds it offensive that these geeky boys look at the hot chicks as potential rolls in the hay and is shocked that the writers think enough of themselves that these hot girls who are characters in the movie actually have some attraction to the geeky heroes. In MaryAnn's world, hot chicks just don't associate with the awkward guys. I think she lost me here.

This movie isn't GHANDI. Jeezus K-RIST! I don't know what some of these uptight people think they are going to see when they walk into a movie called "Superbad" about two geeky teenagers. Now, if I went to see Ghandi and he was making fart jokes, I would have a problem with it. But it's a fantasy movie about (and for) males (and enlightened females) to enjoy. It may not have been "reality" in high school, but now, almost twenty years later, the things the characters go through in the movie is the "reality" our memories have created. We all were the geeky, crass, shy kid in one way or another. We all thought that girl that kissed us was too good for us (and she was probably thinking the same thing at the same time).

Alright. I fell better.

A drink for my old friend Nick

2007-08-12T21:42:00.000-05:00

Tonight I'm drinking. For Nick.

Nick was a friend of mine. He was a great guy. Not a great co-worker. Just a great guy. I met Nick when I was a superintendent at First Texas Homes in Houston. He worked for a rival company, but would stop and joke with us about how bad his job sucked and how much he would like to work for a company like ours. When one of the guys in our group quit, we all recommended Nick. He interviewed with our boss and got the job immediately. He was so likable.

Soon after he started working for us, I changed jobs. I became a quality manager and it was my job to walk the houses that the superintendents finished and help them get them done. Nick wasn't really good at finishing. He let things slide. He wasn't too worried about it. We tried to be hard on him, but he was so likable.

We had one particularly difficult homeowner who's house Nick was building. It took an extra two months to get it done correctly because Nick was in no rush. It caused the company to take all his houses away from him. For the last 9 or 10 months, he's strictly been doing customer service. He was really good at customer service. He got along well with all the homeowners and was good about doing things on their schedule. He was so likable.

A few months ago, Nick pulled me aside to talk to me. His wife just had another baby. A cute little girl. That made two. His other daughter was 3 years old I think. Cute as a button. Nick was overweight and had problem sleeping. Someone told him that I had surgery a year earlier to have my tonsils out. He wanted to know everything about what I went through. I was happy to tell him is was one of the best things I ever did for myself. It improved my snoring, several other benefits, and I didn't even have acid reflux every night anymore. I told him if his doctor was pushing him that way, he should go for it. I cheered him on. He was so likable.

I left First Texas Homes sort of in February, but still worked 2 days a week. I got to see Nick and the guys in my old subdivision more often. I left First Texas Homes for good back in July and my last day there I went to lunch with Nick and the guys. He told me he was getting the surgery and was excited about it. Should be in and out in a day. Recovery would be a week at home. He was overweight. He joked about looking forward to the ice cream the most. We laughed along with him. He was so likable.

I just heard tonight that Nick passed away. He had an asthma attack while he was having the surgery. His lungs filled up with fluid. He was on a ventilator for a week while they figured out what to do. They told everybody last week that they had it under control. They had to keep him heavily sedated because he kept trying to pull out the tube from his throat. They told everybody Friday that he would be home in a week. Two days later, he's dead. From getting his tonsils out. He was so damn likable.

I have guilty feelings for helping talk him into the surgery, but I know it's not my fault. My friends down there have similar feelings for the way we gave him a hard time in the past, but they know it's not their fault. So, tonight - I'm drinking one for my ol buddy Nick.

He was so damn likable.

Donna's Blog Challenge

2007-07-28T21:06:00.000-05:00

Name 5 favorite television shows:
1. Favorite current show - Heroes. It's my favorite ever. Seriously. I'm not just being dramatic.

2. Favorite comedy sitcom - Everybody Loves Raymond. Everybody in that family WAS my family in one way or another.

3. Favorite NickAtNight sitcom - The Beverly Hillbillies. Jethro and Granny and the cement pond. I think it would be funny if they re-did it today. Not like the movie....that sucked.

4. Favorite 70/80 show - The Dukes of Hazzard. I remember making sure I was home on Friday night with my family to watch it. It was an important eveny in my family's life.

5. Favorite cooking show - Good Eats. I have a man-crush on Alton Brown. He's coming out with Feasting on Asphalt 2. I can't wait. I get frustrated with shows that just throw things in because that's what they say to do. Alton tells you WHY you add salt or pepper or flour or whatever.

Honorable Mentions: South Park, Friends, Coach, Brady Bunch, Gilligan's Island, Leave It To Beaver

Name 4 favorite memories:
1. The day I proposed to my wife. It was at her college in Seguin. She had purchased a brick that had her name on it in the courtyard. We were on our way to SeaWorld in San Antonio and made a detour to see it. She had no clue. My wife would expect me to say our wedding in Las Vegas. That was cool, too.

2. In a high school basketball tournament I scored the winning basket. I was pretty good, but no star. Coach diagrammed a play for our star to shoot it from the corner. He missed badly. I was under the basket, out-jumped everyone and grabbed the ball in the air and shot it in at the buzzer. I was the coolest guy in the school for a couple of days. It didn't happen often.

3. A buddy and I were headed to Ft. Lauderdale in college. We had got one of those time-share things and we were going to do our six hours, then cruise out to the Bahamas and hang out on the beach. The day before we got there, a little storm called Hurricane Andrew hit Florida and we had to make other plans. We got the last hotel room in Orlando and hit Disney World all week. The coolest thing was, nobody was there. Everybody that was supposed to be didn't show up because of the hurricane. Everybody that was in Orlando was just there to escape the storm. It was wonderful.

4. I met my first wife for the first time in Las Vegas. We had an internet and phone relationship up to that point. Nothing turned out in the end to make anything a great memory. But that first weekend was a good one, if I 'm being honest.

Name 3 things you want to do before you die:
1. I will (WILL) visit Florence and Venice, Italy. Something about Italy. I don't know why. The food, the art, the people......it's just cool.

2. Scuba dive. Being married to Lori makes it a little difficult. She won't scuba. Ever. But, I figure eventually, I'll be able to figure it out.

3. Sky dive. I've bungee jumped several times. I'm not too keen on hang gliding. But jumping out of a plane sounds fun.

Give 2 names that you would use NOW if you were going to have a new addition to the family:
This is a toughie. It changes every couple of weeks.
If it's a boy - Chase Hunter
If it's a girl - Alexa Haley

Name the one thing that you're working on now to improve your life:
I'm not dieting. I'm not working out. But I am eating better and exercising in my daily life more and more. Little baby steps.

2007-07-22T08:53:00.000-05:00

I'm tired, bloodied, dirty. But it's all been worth it.

We started the day by traveling to Austin. Plan was to go to IronWorks Barbeque. Got there around noon and discovered that there was some big teacher conference next door and there were about a million people there. So, we made a backup plan - Stubbs Barbeque. I wasn't complaining.

Then we went to Central Market. Our once a month pilgrimage for almond butter and exotic spices and specialty root beer and fresh baked bread and whatever catches our eye. We always have a good time there.

Then, on the way home, we had the discussion. The rule was, once I got a full time job up here, I could get a television for my office. We had set aside $600 a year ago just for that. I wasn't allowed to hint, beg, or nag. I had some of my own extra money saved just in case it cost more. I know myself. I know what I want. I know if I compromise, then I'll never be 100% happy. My wife also knows I do my research. I over-research everything.

My wife figured a small 20" set next to my desk. I knew that wouldn't do. With the size of the office, and the size of the wall I was putting it on, nothing less than 32" would do. I could go to 37", but that would be well over $1,000. I had to be well below that. So, I researched 32" flat screen, LCD, HD televisions like I was curing cancer. The cheapest "best" 32" is the Visio at $599. Perfect. Right in our price range. Problem was, the TV itself is kinda ugly. It's silver and has weird speakers at the bottom. Picture is o.k. What I WANTED was the Samsung 32". It's gorgeous, on or off. Piano black finish, picture is rated by several places as the best in its class. But....$1100. Just not possible.

My wife knew all this and was pushing for the Visio. We decided to go to Sams and look. There was a Circuit City right next door. I checked to see if Sams had the Visio in stock and watched my wife while I did. Yup. They've got it. We decided to go next door to see if the same TV was cheaper. Return policy at Circuit City is a lot better than Sams. Circuit City has both TV's. We couldn't get anybody to help us. Again....I just watched my wife.

She told me, "I don't know if I can let you buy the Visio. The picture is SO much better on the Samsung." That's all I needed to hear. We couldn't get anyone to wait on us at Circuit City, but I had a plan all along. Best Buy was across the street. They didn't even HAVE the Visios. But, with the approval of my wife to spend the extra money, off we went.

She found a nice leather chair in the surround sound department and I told her to get comfortable. I had some dealing to do. Found a poor kid to help me. The Samsung television I wanted was $1100. I told him I was disappointed because the price online showed as $999. He said he could get me the $999 price. Then I asked if they did price matching. Sure. Do they match Fry's Electronics? Lemme check. Yeah. In my wallet, printed out a week ago was the price of the television at Fry's during their sale. $830. He thought it was fake. I got worried. They had to have a manager approve it. Manager knew what was up. He just wanted to know if Fry's had any in stock. My answer was, "Yup! Sure do. I just hate that freakin store. I do all my shopping here." That's all he needed. In honesty, Fry's hasn't had them in stock for 2 months. But that was my research....not theirs.

So, barbecue, grocery shopping at my favorite store, and an $1100 television for $830. I felt like I robbed them.

But I started the story by saying I was a little bloodied over it all. Fast forward to installing the television. I have one cable in my office. It runs my cable-modem. But, I don't have cable TV. I have DirecTv. Cable guy told me I could get a splitter and run it off the same line as the modem. Liar. Idiot. After working on that for an hour, I had to try something else. There is a cable in the bedroom on the ohter side of the wall. I pulled the plate and drilled a hole. But I misjudged and hit the exterior brick (and cut my finger a little in the process). After sulking for an hour, I decided to go for it. I came back down the wall a ways in the bedroom and drilled a hole in the wall. Then took a long nail and poked a hole in the other side in the office. Made both holes big enough to run the cable though. All in all it took me about 3 hours to figure out.

Hung the TV on the wall (yeah....that wasn't quite as easy as that just sounded) and now I'm sitting in my office a little closer to heaven. I'm a refrigerator and toilet away from never having to leave this little room. ;)

Paying my Tag Debt

2007-07-20T19:41:00.000-05:00

I was tagged twice. Donna and Lynette. It means I have to come up with fourteen things about myself. Fourteen? Here's the problem. Most of the people that read this blog know about everything there is. Seriously. I talk a lot. But, I've decided tonight is the night that I will make it through.

1. I have met two REALLY famous people. Will Smith when I was in court (he was going in for a support hearing for his oldest boy with his first wife) and Heather Locklear. We were having dinner in Laguna Hills, California, and she came in with her mom, daughter, and famous hubby Richie Sambora. I was told they were there. I couldn't see past her schwingness.

2. I love to gamble. I'm afraid to online though. I've never crossed that line. Only in Vegas. Craps and Blackjack are my two favorites. I love watching poker on TV but I've never played for real. When I go to Vegas I do not sleep. Seriously....like 5 hours over 4 days. Then I sleep for three days straight when I get home.

3. In junior high and high school, I just assumed I would do something with computers when I grew up. I took one computer programming course in college and abandoned the idea immediately. I changed to management.

4. If I had one wish, I wish I had all the knowledge I have at this moment and I could travel back to when I was 10 or so. I was so shy growing up it was stupid. I studied so hard I missed out on some of the fun. I'd be a solid C student if I had to do it over again. (And then I'd take all my knowledge of sports outcomes and become a zillionaire anyway). I would tell a lot more people to go to hell. That's for sure.

5. After my divorce, I taught myself to play guitar and wrote bad sad country songs. I wrote some o.k. ones, too. But most of them were bad.

6. At one point in time, I was the world record holder for 16 year olds for corn cob throwing. Well.....according to the people at the Corn Cob Festival. I'm sure somebody has broken the record by now.

7. I'm addicted to Swelltown.com. I am currently in 3rd place overall and I'm slowly catching up to the two in front of me. There are a couple of women slowly catching up to me though. I've decided to retire from Swelltown when I reach first place or one of the women behind me passes me by. If I can't be first, I don't wanna play anymore. First thing I do when I wake up is trade celebrities on Swelltown. Same when I leave for work, get home from work, go to bed. My wife thinks it's weird.

8. I knew where I was going to college when I was three. I never wanted to go any place else. The University of Houston. I grew up going to basketball and football games. Most of the memories with my family is usually connected with a game we went to.

9. I don't like to read books. And usually I think the movie is better than the book. Except Pet Semetary by Stephen King. That movie sucked.

10. Once, my best friend and I drank a half-gallon each of tequila shot by shot. I'm not sure why we didn't die. But my memory of it was we really didn't even get that drunk.

11. I've been in one fight my entire life. I was scared to death. I wanted to crawl into a little ball and cry. But, I whupped his a$$. Mostly out of fear that I was going to get hurt. After I won, I went home and crawled into a little ball and cried.

12. I believe the DVR (or Tivo) is the greatest invention of our lifetime. Computers are cool, the internet is awesome, but my DVR is something I can't live without.

13. I have a very short attention span. When I find a new hobby, I dive in head first, usually spending thousands of dollars to equip myself. Then I'll see somethng shiny in the corner of my eye and drop everything for the new stuff.

14. I hate hunting and fishing, although most of my family and friends go every chance they get. As the great Ron White says about hunting - "it's really cold, really early, and I didn't want to f'ing go." I'll eat all the fish and deer they bring home, but I really don't think it's a sport. You go hide, then when the deer are out minding their own business, shoot them in the head. Hamburger is fine with me. Cows are easier to hunt I guess.

There. 14. I tag nobody. I think most have been tagged. That was tough to do. I had to dig deep.

DAD WATCH - DAY 17

2007-07-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

Sorry sorry sorry.

This should have been on Tuesday, but I posted it elsewhere. When I left Sunday night, my dad's "blood count" (there is a more medical name but that's what the family is calling it) was at 10. He couldn't go home until it was at 1,000. Everything we read, were told, figured out on our own was that it was going to take a heck of a long time to get to 1,000.

Tuesday - mid-day. Doctors came into the room with my mom there unannounced. Glaring at my father. Mom got nervous.

"Mr. Peters. Would you like to go home today?"

And it was over. He made it to 1,000 in two days. Normally takes a week. Subborn father. When he could find out he could go home earlier, I bet he stayed up at night trying to sqeeze more blood count. Today, Thursday, his count is up to 3,500. All this means nothing to me of course. We didn't know what the number was before the transplant. We don't know exactly what the number means. We just know it's "THE NUMBER." We are expecting it to be 5,000 for the transplant to be considered "successful."

We aren't sure what success is yet. 1 year of further life? 5 years? All I want is for my dad's pain to be lessened a little. Again, I'd like Mackenzie to be old enough to have lifelong memories of Pa-Pa.

Life at home has been grand. My father's six dogs are VERY pleased and will not leave his side. Mackenzie has changed since he went in. She talks non-stop (even called and talked to me on the phone tonight for the first time ever). She sits in his lap and has conversations, watches horror movies with Pa-Pa. They are best friends.

Dad can't drive for awhile. His blood-sugar is way up and down still (all this and he could still drop from a diabetic coma...the irony). It was 40 at the doctor today. That ain't good. But they think they can control it once he gets off the other medication. Nobody seems overly paniced over it, so we follow their lead.

So....on with whatever may come next.

DAD WATCH - DAY 13

2007-07-15T20:52:00.000-05:00

Figured I should get on the ball and give everybody an update on my father.

Went in on July 2nd I believe. Was given the massive chemo on the 3rd. Had the transplant on the 4th. They told us it took about five to seven days for the chemo to do it's job and kill all the bone marrow. Then, he would be at zero immunity for a few days and then on Day 10 after the transplant (today) his bone marrow levels would go up. And they started to today.

Well....that's the index card version of what's been happening.

First of all, Scott and White Hospital is really beautiful. We are blessed that he isn't in some run down country old-school place. It's a brand new building, a brand new room, flat screen TV with cable, top floor of an 8 floor building overlooking all of Temple and Belton (you can literally see for 30 miles). He is suffering from a little bit of cabin fever, but it could be a lot worse.

He has NOT gotten sick like all the doctors and nurses told him he would. He's not doing jumping jacks down the hallway, but to us (his family), he actually looks and acts healthier than he has in a few years. He gets to walk around the hospital and does so frequently (and counts his steps to measure how far he walks) and even gets to go outside when he wants to. He just has to wear a protective mask so he doesn't breath in anything he shouldn't.

There have been a couple of small snags. One, he developed a small fever around Friday. Worst possible thing for someone that has no defenses to fight off. The doctors were on it immediately and filled him with antibiotics. Fever got to 100.9 I think. Out of all the "bugs" they thought it was, it was the most minor. Still serious, but it looks like it's about gone. We all immediately thought of e-coli since he just had a bout with that a few weeks ago. Secondly, he hates the food. He's not eating well because the food service department there can't get it right. My mom and dad are too polite to make a bigger fuss about it, but it's becoming a problem. He doesn't like the hot food dishes they serve. We think it's something about the medicine he's taking that is making the smells get to him. Reguardless - he is ordering off of an alternative menu that they gave him. But when the food comes, it's whatever they want to bring - not what he ordered. We (his family) are breaking rules in a safe way to come to the rescue. My dad loves a certain kind of hot dog made in Taylor, Texas. My sister-in-law fried up a couple and took them up there to him (doctor was notified and was o.k. with it). Tonight, we went to eat at a mexican food restaurant that he likes, so I ordered some extra cheese enchaladas and took them to him. He had just turned away a whole tray of food so I think he was pretty excited to get one of his favorite dinners.

One funny thing happened tonight. Whenever I go in, I knock and try to say something funny. Tonight I knocked and said, "Somebody call for an enema?" Well....when the door swung open, I realized the Pastor and his wife were in there visiting. :) Woops. They are cool with it though. I like them a lot.

Back to the transplant. His blood count (or levels or marrow count or whatever it is) needs to start going up from this stage forward. It needs to get to a level of 1,000. Tonight it had gone from zero to ten. Ten is a long way from 1,000, but it's better than zero.

So, hopefully, he's about a week away from busting out of that joint. He has plans on all the restaurants he's going to stop at on the way home. I believe he's lost about 25 pounds so far. A lot from the drugs, most from not eating.

Most of his time is spent on the computer since he doesn't have high speed internet at home. He would love to hear from anybody. His e-mail is

LAPETERS@VVM.COM

Tell him I sent you. ;)

2007-07-08T08:14:00.000-05:00

July 4th and all the events surrounding it is a very big deal in my family. I have lived in Belton, Texas, for about 4 months, but I've been going to the town's parade for 37 years. I've never missed one.

We started the holiday a week ago by going to the God and Country concert at the local college. The choir from the Baptist Church was there and the army band from Ft. Hood. We used to go with my grandmother every year. Since she has passed on, we haven't been as much. It was in a good location this year, so I told my mother I was taking her. Lori and her parents decided to go. My uncle, in town for my father's bone marrow transplant, decided to go as well. It was great. Very moving. Many tributes to the military. My FIL was in the Air Force, Navy, and National Gaurd. My uncle was in Vietnam. I was glad they were able to go.

Then, the 4th of July Parade was the big event for us. About 30,000 people line the streets. It's not exactly a "neighborhood" parade. My mom and dad stayed at the hospital. My niece and SIL had a softball game to go to. But everybody else made it. It wasn't too hot. The parade is a big excuse for my brother and I to make cracks on all the people that pass by. We didn't really go public with our comments like years past, but it was fun for us.

Friday night was the rodeo. Back in the day, the rodeo was in an outdoor arena down by the courthouse. A few years ago, they moved it to the Bell County Expo Center, commonly known as "The Pimple" by my family. It's a mini-dome. It's nice I guess. Weather isn't a factor anymore. But it's so LOUD in there. My SIL and Mackenzie left early because Mackenzie just couldn't take it. The rodeo is fun and there was a good turnout. It's never as good as your memory of it is. No cowboy rode a bull. Very few roped the calf. In Steer Wrestling, it should take 5-10 seconds. It took 20-30 seconds. But, my MIL and FIL had a blast.

So.....July 4th as a Beltonian is done. Can't wait for next year.

Update on Life

2007-06-27T19:37:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've updated this. So......it is time for a life update.

I've been sitting around thinking that there is not a lot going on in my life. Actually....I guess there is.

First, I'm getting really excited about the July 4th holiday coming up. My grandparents used to own a cafe in downtown Belton. We would come up and sit in the front and watch the big July 4th parade go by. They sold the place in 1976, but we kept going. The parade has been around for over 100 years I think. I've never missed one in my lifetime. Barring a catastrophic event, I don't plan on missing one. It's a big time event now. Basically it's an excuse for my little brother and I to sit and make fun of hillbillies, T-ball teams, and local businesses. Our local TV Weatherman came by on a float. My brother screamed out, "You are HORRIBLE! Every day you say there is a 50% chance of rain. And you're USUALLY WRONG!" The crowd roared and applauded. Now, we're somewhat famous among the little group that sits in the same spot every year. My 2 year old niece, Mackenzie, is finally old enough to enjoy the parade. So, we're looking forward to it. There is also a patriotic music concert that I will be able to take my mom to. She hasn't been in 10 years or so. That will be fun. Then there is the rodeo. We'll go to one. We used to go to all of them, but we liked it better before the bullriders starting wearing padding. We like the wrecks. We root for the bulls.

My dad is going in for his stem-cell transplant on July 3rd. He's gone through all the hoops and last week, with very little fanfare, he went in and they took out all the good stem-cells from his blood and they froze them. On the 3rd, he'll go in and they'll pump him full of chemo and kill ALL of his bone marrow. Then they'll put all the frozen stem-cells in (I think they thaw them in the microwave first) and wait for them to grow into healthy bone marrow. All in all, he should be in the hosptial for 3-4 weeks. It'll be hard on my mom, but it's nice that it's during the summer so my sister-in-law can help. We know the risk and we're just ready to move forward no matter what. I'm hoping my dad is in less pain at some point. He puts up with more than I think any human should have to. Needless to say, mom and dad will miss the July 4th parade. We're gonna be picture taking, movie making fools.

And then there is my job search. It has come to an end. I have accepted a job with CenTex homes in Killeen. I'm excited I guess. A lot of things happened right around the time of the interviews. There were a couple of local builders in Temple that showed some interest. There was a custom builder that I would really like to build for that contacted me the day before I accepted the offer with Centex. But he just wanted to ask where I was at in my search. He doesn't have anything for me. For me, it's kinda like going back to basic training after being an officer for 10 years. It's going to be a lot of work, a lot of changes, a longer commute.....but I like my new boss. I think it'll be a good experience for myself.

So, I have about 4 more days in Houston, wrapping up loose ends at my old job. I'm going to miss Houston and miss working for my old bosses tremendously. But, I'm done driving 180 miles each way to work two days a week. It was fun for the first two or three weeks....but now I don't look forward to it. Money has been tight. I'm looking forward to getting in a routine again.

So.....that's what's up with me.

Notes about my Movie List

2007-06-03T11:11:00.000-05:00

Blogging that list was one of the biggest "waste-of-time" projects I have ever done. But it was fun. Now, when people say, "Do you like that movie?" I can say, "That is my 33rd favorite movie ever!" (Which is Sixteen Candles I think). I've always had a list in my head and never wrote it down.

What is one the list?
80's comedies. Lots of them. Some are earlier or later than the 80's, but that was my high school years - the time when going to the movie theater was an EVENT.

What isn't on the list?
War and Gangster movies. I have a friend who would have all the Godfather, Platoon, and Scarface movies all over his list. They're fine movies. But I've seen em. Not sure if I would go out of my way to watch them again.

What was left off intentionally that others may be shocked about?
E.T. - Didn't care for it when it came out. A little too sappy by the lead actor kid.
Meet the Fockers - I felt really bad for the main character. I was more uncomfortable than entertained.
Pirates of the Carribean - Never have liked Johnny Depp really.
Beetlejuice - The sculpture stuff just freaked me out.

Movies on my list that you may never have even heard of but should watch:
Midnight Run - Looks like another cop action movie. Really great story. Who knew Charles Grodin could do such a movie.
Memento - Independent Film and the most original, riveting movies in years.
Galaxy Quest - Star Trek geeky, but very entertaining.
Dazed and Confused - Just watch it. I wish I would have seen it when it first came out.

My Favorite Movies (51-100)

2007-06-02T23:35:00.000-05:00

100. Weird Science - Anthony Michael Hall on his decline. But he was still good.
99. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - THOSE ARENT PILLOWS!
98. The Rookie - Just a good G rated, feel good movie
97. Breaking Away - A bike race movie. But it was GOOD!
96. Full Metal Jacket - The only WAR movie on my top 100 list. I don't care for war movies
95. Rollerball - The original James Caan movie. Johnathan! Johnathan! Houston vs. Japan
94. First Blood - Screw Rocky. Rambo was better.
93. Fandango - VERY underrated movie with Kevin Costner. Very cool movie.
92. Terminator 2 - Better than the original. Very cool movie.
91. Nightmare On Elm Street - A bad guy with a sense of humor.
90. The Blues Brothers - Rawhide!
89. Slap Shot - A hockey movie. Nothing is off limits
88. Shrek
87. Boogey Nights - A star. A great big shining star.
86. The Jerk - There are snails on her plate! I was born a poor black child.
85. Sound of Music - Yeah. I put it on here. My mom made me watch it. I like it though.
84. Mr. Bean - I am a 13 year old trapped in a 37 year old body. It's why I like Mr. Bean
83. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels - Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom? Thank you.
82. Back to School - Rodney Dangerfield, the Triple Lindy. And Sam Kinnison was in it.
81. Goonies - Sloth was my hero.
80. Almost Famous - This kid lived the life we all wanted to live.
79. Arthur - America's favorite drunk. "He took a knife from the cheese. Do you think he wants some cheese?"
78. Aliens - The original was dark and boring. The sequel was exciting and cool.
77. Toy Story - The first of the computer animated movies. It was very funny.
76. Galaxy Quest - SUPER MOVIE. Highly underrated. I expected a cheesy b-movie. Instead, it was entertaining. One of my sleeper movies.
75. Meatballs - It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!
74. Die Hard - Yipee Ki-yea.....The original of this was as big a movie as there ever was.
73. Catch Me if You Can - Tom Hanks, Leonardo De Caprio, Steven Spielberg? Perfect.
72. Bull Durham - Kevin Costner's best baseball movie. Field of Dreams is weak.
71. Stir Crazy - Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder made prison look like a fun rodeo with murders.
70. Elf - I am a Will Ferrell fan BIG TIME. Everything he does makes me laugh.
69. Out of Sight - Pre Ocean's Eleven. J.Lo and Clooney are extra cool. The movie was cooooool
68. Grease - A dirty musical. And we didn't even care. It was great.
67. The Green Mile - This movie affected me a lot.
66. Little Darlings - My crush on Kristy McNichol and Cynthia Nixon began here.
65. Bachelor Party - So many one liners to steal from this movie. It was so much fun.
64. Pulp Fiction - Some of the greatest dialog in the history of movies.
63. Trading Places - Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroid and a topless Jamie Lee Curtis. Woo Hoo!
62. Happy Gilmore - If only for the Bob Barker scene. "The Price is Wrong Bitch!"
61. Real Genius - Do genius kids really go to luaus?
60. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - The remake scared me.
59. True Romance - Christian Slater is just a good guy in a bad situation. Exciting movie.
58. Better off Dead - I want my TWO DOLLARS!
57. A Perfect World - Clint Eastwood chasing Kevin Costner in the Texas Hill Country.
56. Airplane! - It's a teradactyl! When this came out, it was THE BOMB!
55. Grounhog Day - I think I would have had a lot more fun than Bill tried.
54. Kill Bill - Both, volume 1 and 2, are good. But I liked 1 more. Lots more action.
53. Pee Wee's Big Adventure - There is no basement in the Alamo.
52. Kingpin - On my list despite the disturbing scene with the landlord. Blech!
51. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - It's only a fleshwound!

My Favorite Movies (41-50)

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50. Back to The Future (1985) - “Hello? McFly! Hello!” - The three movies of this trilogy together are very good. But the first one will always be my favorite.

49. Beverly Hills Cop (1984) - “The chief didn’t chew it all off. You still got a little ass left.” - Eddie Murphy has some great movies. This was my favorite. Just a great solid movie.

48. Silence of the Lambs (1991) - “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.” - A horror movie won best picture of the year. It HAD to be good. It was. My wife won’t watch it ever ever again.

47. American Pie (1999) - I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort? He pets the one-eyed snake five or six times a day.” - This was by no means a perfect teen movie. But Steve Stiffler is enough to make this a classic. The sequels weren’t as good as the first one.

46. Roger and Me (1989) - “Although most people in Flint were now too poorto afford a room at the Hyatt, the hotel allowed the public on opening day to ride the city’s only escalator.” - I must say, I hate Michael Moore now. He’s more political than a movie maker, and that bothers me. Almost enough to just keep this movie off my list. But I did love it SO much when it came out. The best documentary I ever saw. And the Rabbit-Lady (“Pets or meat?”) will always be classic.

45. Memento (2000) - “Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They’re just an interpretation. They’re not a record, and they’re irrelevant if you have the facts.” - This is the most original movie I have ever seen. The main character has no short term memory and is trying to figure out who killed his wife. It’s essentially told backwards to see how we got to point B from point A. Much like Usual Suspects, a lot of the things you can never see coming. A brilliant movie.

44. Chasing Amy (1997) - “Curious about men? Well, I always wondered why my father watched Hee Haw.” - I saw this before the other Kevin Smith movies (like Clerks). I was introduced to Jay and Silent Bob. Any my love affair with Joey Lauren Adams was begun. Not your typical fluffy happy movie. But it is my favorite Kevin Smith movie.

43. Pump Up The Volume (1990) - “Feeling screwed up at a screwed up time in a screwed up place does not necessarily make you screwed up.” - Christian Slater’s best movie. This is another that is high on my list that you might not see on anybody else’s list of favorite movies. The shy guy gets behind the radio mic and becomes a dirty talking rock star. I loved it.

42. Wizard of Oz (1939) - “Lions and tigers and bears! Oh, my!” - Yeah. It’s on my list. I’m a guy. What’s your point? I watch this whenever it comes on. It was pretty impressive for 1939. It’s a great movie.

41. Every Which Way But Loose (1978) - “Right turn Clyde” - Ruth Gordon was great in this. Clint Eastwood is known for a lot of things - Dirty Harry, westerns…..but THIS is how I know him. It was dramatic enough, had enough action, and had the Black Widows as well. I remember going to the drive-in to see Halloween and watching this out the back of our car. The sequel “Any Which Way You Can” wasn’t nearly as good….but I enjoyed that one, too.

My Favorite Movies (31-40)

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40. Wayne’s World (1992) - “I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she’s yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be.” - This is one of my wife’s favorite movies of all time. I was a fan of the skit on Saturday Night Live. It was one of the few that translated into a good movie. Stuart Smalley Saves His Family was good, too. But, this will always live as the best SNL skit turned movie.

39. Midnight Run (1988) - “I knew you had money. I didn’t know you HAD money.” - Of ALL the movies on my list, I would guess that this is the one that not too many other people would have on theirs. De Niro as a bounty hunter and Charles Grodin as a criminal? Not really the buddy film for the ages. But I think it is De Niro’s best film (yes….better than Raging Bull). I loved this movie and don’t know why it didn’t get more attention.

38. Blazing Saddles (1974) - “Excuse me while I whip this out.” - This is another movie that they’d never be able to make today, much like Bad News Bears. Politically incorrect as they come. CandyGram for Mongo. The baked beans scene is the most well known scene, but it was unusually weird in a good way before movies ever tried to get away with it.

37. Sling Blade (1996) - “I like them French fried potaters.” - If you see the movie, you do the voice. It was an awkward, weird movie. But MAN Dwight Yoakum was a good bad guy. Billy Bob Thorton will never do anything better.

36. Aladdin (1992) - “Phenomenal cosmic powers! Itty bitty living space.” - I was too old to see this in the theater, but I did it anyway. Three times. It was back before Disney was whipping out movies ever six months. It had been awhile since the classics came out. I’m not a big Robin Williams fan, but I thought him being cast as the Genie was great and as funny today as it was then.

35. Porky’s (1982) - “Five young boys in the nude, a police line-up so that you can identify his tallywhacker?” - That scene will always live as one of my favorites, with the two coaches in the background cracking up. One of the first R rated movies I saw in the theater with my mother. It was a stressful day and I laughed harder than I ever did that night. EVER.

34. Dazed and Confused (1993) - “All right, all right, all right!” - I didn’t see this movie until a few years ago. I don’t know how I missed it. I’ll go on record to say that I dispise Matthew McConaughey. But David Wooderson, the character he plays in this movie is one of my idols. “One thing about high school girls…..I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” The movie is great, but without Wooderson, it is just average.

33. Sixteen Candles (1984) - “I mean, not man girls in contemporary American society today would give their underwear to help a geek like me.” - One of the best teen 80’s movies. Anthony Michael Hall as Farmer Ted, Long Duc Dong….they were classics. And there’s John Cusack again.

32. Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1986) - “My old man is a television repairman. He’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.” - Jeff Spicoli was ahead of his time. The whole cast of this was great. And Phoebe Cates alone is worth this being on my list.

31. Raising Arizona (1987) - “Son, you got a panty on your head.” - This is a pivotal movie for most people. You either love this or you hate it. It was my introduction to the Coen brothers and I loved it. It had a different pace and feel than any other movie I had seen. I understand why people didn’t like it, but it just fit my sense of humor.

My Favorite Movies (21-30)

2007-06-02T23:14:00.000-05:00

30. Halloween (1978) - “What’s the boogieman? As a matter of fact, that was.” - The original scary movie for me. The music alone gives me nightmares. I’m not big on horror, but this one stands the test of time. Michael Meyers could beat up Jason, Freddie, and all the other bad guys. You can’t kill the boogieman.

29. Live and Let Die (1973) - “A secret agent? On WHOSE side?” - Some people like Sean Connery as James Bond. I am a Roger Moore fan. This movie had it all - A world record boat jump, voo-doo, alligators, sharks. And the best James Bond theme song of them all. And Sheriff J.W. Pepper was just funny.

28. Bad News Bears (1976) - “Listen, Lupus, you didn’t come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.” - I got to see parts of the sequel to this filmed near my house in Houston. They don’t make movies like this anymore. You can tell because they remade this movie a few years ago and took the wimpy way out. The remake was a joke.

27. Revenge of the Nerds (1984) - “I’ve been out combing the high schools all day.” - The nerd gets the homecoming queen in the end? C’mon. How could you NOT love this movie. Booger is one of the great characters of my generation. And Anthony Edwards was in Top Gun AND Revenge of the Nerds? That’s range.

26. Lord of the Rings (2001) - “I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise. ‘Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.’ And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.” - This one is for the whole trilogy. It was just awesome to see it on screen. I am really not a big fan of the story. But, the movie was amazing.

25. Stand By Me (1986) - “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” - I was a teenager when this came out, but I related to the loss of my old friends when I was a kid. It was told much like Princess Bride, with a narrator, which is one of my favorite movie tricks. Great cast, great story, great scenery, great music. And John Cusak was in it.

24. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) - Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?” - Another of one of those ‘epic’ films that is bigger than the actors in it. This was Harrison Ford at his best. I know he’s Han Solo. He’s better here.

23. Something About Mary (1998) “Have you seen my baseball?” - I remember seeing this in the movie theater and laughing harder than any movie I have ever laughed at in my life except for maybe Porky's. The zipper scene, the crazy dog scene…..everything was classic. And then you throw in Brett Favre? Perfect.

22. Ocean’s Eleven (2001) - “There’s a ninety-five pound Chinese man with a hundred sixty million dollars behind this door.” The coolest movie on my list. George Clooney with the new generation of brat-packers. I love that Brad Pitt’s character is always eating something in almost every scene. The sequel wasn’t as cool as the first one, but it was still cool.

21. American History X (1998) - “I believe in death, destruction, chaos, filth, and greed.“ Edward Norton’s greatest movie. He is a muscle-bound skinhead who murders a car thief in a very grotesque way (“Bite the curb”) and goes to prison. There, he is turned on by his own people and becomes a spokesman against the cause. Intense, disturbing, and riveting.

My Favorite Movies (11-20)

2007-06-02T22:49:00.000-05:00

20. Star Wars (1977) - “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”

This is the one that started it all really. There is debate over which one is the best. While most say that it is Empire Strikes Back, I prefer the original. All of the essential players are in this one.

19. National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) - “We watch his program. We buy his toys, we go to his movies, he owes us! Doesn’t Marty Moose owe us? He owes the Griswalds right? F’n-a right he owes us!”

There is some debate about this. Which is better? Vacation or Christmas Vacation. I’m surprised at how many people say it is Christmas vacation. For me, hands down, it is the original. I HAVE a cousin Eddie. I HAVE a Aunt Edna. Chevy Chase’s career in a movie.

18. Gladiator (2000) - “At my signal, unleash hell.”

When a movie is so well done, you mistake it for actual Shakespeare, that means it’s good. By far, the best thing Russell Crowe has ever done. Joaquin Phoenix is one of the best bad guys in the history of film. They may never make another epic movie like this again. They’ve tried, but it always looks like their trying to copy this one.

17. Forest Gump (1994) - “Lieutenant Dan. Ice cream!”

This is one of those movies that will be talked about for years. It gave us so many great characters - Lieutenant Dan, Bubba, momma, Jenny. Full of great dialog, characters, plot. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love this movie. I think Tom Hanks is one of the greatest actors of all time, and this is his best.

16. Rudy (1993) - “I’ve been ready for this my whole life.”

One of the only movies that can make me cry like a baby. It’s conflicting to me because it is about Notre Dame, a school I don’t really care too much about. But, Sean Astin plays Rudy wonderfully. It’s the underdog story of all underdog stories and you find yourself pulling for him like he’s your son or brother.

15. Stripes (1981) - “We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi, we’re not Spartans, we’re American. With a capital “A”, huh? And you know what that means? Do you? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog. We’re mutts.”

Bill Murray and John Candy at the top of their game. It looked like being in the Army was fun. Goof off in basic training, entertain the crowd at graduation, and get an all expenses paid trip to Europe in a luxury R.V. What could be better? The mud wrestling scene was the best thing John Candy ever did.

14. The Princess Bride (1987) - “As you wish."

I was on a date when I saw this movie. Maybe that’s why it is so near and dear to my heart. It’s a chick flick, but done in a way that there is something for everybody. The grandfather reading a story to his sick grandson was a nice twist. It was slapstick funny enough to keep you laughing, with big stars like Billy Crystal, Andre the Giant, and Mandy Patinkin.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

13. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) - “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.”

Another in a long line of well timed movies in my life. A sophomore in high school at the time, I got on board with the slacker high school student attitude. It was a groundbreaking movie in its day. Ferris talked to the camera as if we were there with him - in the shower, in the car, at the pool. It was different than any movie ever done. Principle Rooney and Grace, the secretary steal the show.

12. American Beauty (1999) - “Remember those posters that said, ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life’? Well, that’s true of every day but one - the day you die.”

Another of the Kevin Spacey arsenal. A very dark movie, but extremely entertaining. When I walked out of the theater, I remember thinking that it was the best movie I ever saw. While it may not be the best today, it’s still right up there. The most dysfunctional characters in just about any movie on my list. Lester Burnham narrates his last day on earth. His wife, daughter, neighbors all have issues that make Lester look like the normal one. Disturbing, shocking, funny, entertaining. Also not for everyone. As much as I love it, a lot of my friends hate it. I understand why, but I disagree.

11. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) - “Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K”

I saw this movie over thirty times in the theater. It’s what we DID that summer. It was like a history lesson AND entertainment at the same time. By far, the best thing Keanu Reeves has ever done (and will ever do).

Slackers Bill and Ted have to pass their history test. They get help from the future, ala George Carlin. If they don’t pass the test, the future utopia that is based on their music will be no more. With a time traveling machine, they kidnap some of the most important people in history to help them with their report. Ganghis Kahn trashes Oshman’s Sporting Goods. It’s as fun a movie as anything.

Just stay away from the horrible sequel.

My Favorite Movies (1-10)

2007-06-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

10. Dances With Wolves (1990) - “Dances With Wolves. I am Wind In His Hair. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?”

When this movie came out, I remember thinking that it was bigger and prettier than any movie I had ever seen. It was long - 3 hours. But it didn’t feel that long. It was beautiful, funny, sad, moving, shocking. Everything a movie is supposed to be. The musical score is wonderful and is still in my main rotation of CD’s.

Kevin Costner plays Lieutenant John Dunbar, on a quest to see the frontier before it disappears. He befriends a group of Indians, including Stands With A Fist, played by Mary McDonnell. The friendship makes him an enemy of his own people, thus endangering the Indians.

Essentially, they just don’t make movies like this anymore. This may be the last real epic movie ever made, especially with today’s short attention span. It deserved every award it won that year.

9. Best In Show (2000) - “We are so lucky. We are SO lucky to have been raised amongst catalogs.”

The only movie in my top ten favorite movies that has been done this century. Written, directed, and starring Christopher Guest. This movie was made along the same lines as This Is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, and A Mighty Wind. Most people prefer This Is Spinal Tap, and it is fine - but this is by far my favorite. Most of the dialog is improvised.

The same cast is used in just about every movie. My wife and I saw this movie before we owned a dog together. It helped my wife become a dog lover. Our favorites were the gay couple of Stefan Vanderhoof and Scott Donalan. But all the characters are wonderfully played.

It’s dear to me because it’s one of the first movies that my wife and I found genuinely funny together. Now that we have owned a few dogs, it’s that much funnier.

8. Animal House (1978) - “We have an old saying in Delta House: Don’t get mad, get even.”

This was one of the first R-rated movies I ever saw. VCRs were new back then. I snuck in and watched this movie and I was in puberty heaven! Once mom and dad found out I had seen it, I just watched it whenever I wanted. I must have seen in a thousand times. As a man, I am required by law to have it in the top ten best movies of all time. It is, but even if I didn’t think so, to say otherwise would mean turning in my man card.

This movie will be 30 years old next year and it is still just as funny today as it was then. Every frat wants to be Delta House. John Belushi’s greatest moment. He had a couple of other great movies, but no where near this. The rest of the Delta gang - Otter, Pinto, Boon, Flounder, and D-Day - all against Neidermeyer and Dean Wormer. It’s just funny through and through.

7. A Christmas Story (1983) - “A zepplin! THAT’S MINE!”

I have a little brother. This movie is as much about Christmas for the two of us as the presents are. It doesn’t help the rest of the family that cable TV runs this movie for 24 hours in a row every Christmas. My brother and I can recite the whole movie from memory I think. From start to finish. My family hates it.

It’s about Ralphie, played by Peter Billingsley. A young boy that just wants an “official Red Ryder Carbine-Action two-Hundred-Shot Range model Air Rifle” and his quest to get it. He is up against it as everyone including his parents, teachers, and Santa Claus tells him - “You’ll shoot your eye out.” It is set in a postcard 1950’s setting. It is as Americana as apple pie itself.

The quotes in this movie is what makes it tick - “Fra-gIL-Le….it must be French!”, “It’s a major award!”, “Aunt Clara had for years labored under the delusion that I was not only perpetually 4 years old, but also a girl.”, “Don’t forget to drink your Ovaltine”, and “ Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap.”

The reason this movie is one of my favorite of all time is the memories it brings to me of Christmas. It’s a big deal in my family. Thirty-seven years of tradition for me. A streak that I don’t intend to ever break. The meal, the presents, the family. When opening presents, my brother and I say “A zepplin! That’s Mine!” over and over and over.

6. Hoosiers (1986) - “I’ll make it.” - Jimmy Chitwood

Coach Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) gets a second chance to coach a teenie school in rural Indiana. He leads a small team of farm boys to the state championship game. He has his own way of coaching, which the town doesn’t take to very well. When the town votes to get rid of Coach Dale, the star player, Jimmy Chitwood, makes an ultimatum - “I play, coach stays. He goes, I go.”

The best musical score I’ve ever heard. Just listening to the music of this film gives me goosebumps. Dennis Hopper does a good job playing Shooter, the alcoholic father of one of the boys on the team who helps coach . This is a true story, for the most part. There is an old saying I heard a long time ago which I have learned is true - If you want to make sure you are watching a good movie, watch one with Gene Hackman in it.

This is another movie that just came out at the exact right time in my life. I was a junior in high school and was on the basketball team. For me, especially at the time, it was the most beautiful shot movie ever. The David vs. Goliath themes were inspiring.

5. The Breakfast Club (1985) - “But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal.”

Best character driven movie ever. Couldn’t have been better cast. Every one of the actors in the movie became icons for their generation. Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy are all sentenced for Saturday detention. Each is the stereotype of a high school student. Anthony Michael Hall is the geek, Molly Ringwald is the princess, Emilio Estevez is the jock, Judd Nelson is the criminal, and Ally Sheedy is the reculse. Written and directed by the king of 80’s movies - John Hughes.

Another movie that came out at a pivotal time in my life. I was a sophomore in high school. Just coming out of my geek phase into my jock phase, but feeling like the recluse. The soundtrack to this movie was as important as the movie itself.

I will say that this MUST be seen in it’s original form. The “made-for-tv” edit is one of the worst in the history of film or television.

4. The Usual Suspects (1995) - “You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting caught, and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything it’ll be to get rid of me. After that…my guess is you’ll never hear from him again.”

I love a mystery movie. Especially if it is as character driven as this one. And then, give it a twist that I never saw coming and I’m a fan for life. This move made me a Kevin Spacey fan, and I am glad that he won the Oscar for it.

“Keyser Soze” is the mysterious bad guy that is behind the scenes controlling a group of small-time cons. They get in over their heads but are in too deep to do anything about it. The group is lead by Dean Keaton (Gabriel Byrne) who the lead cop, Dave Kujan (Chazz Palminteri) thinks is the real bad guy. The other players are Michael McManus (Stephen Baldwin), Fred Fenster (Benicio Del Toro), Todd Hockney (Kevin Pollak), and Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey). Verbal has been left behind after a hold up gone bad that has resulted in very bad results for the team. The story is told by Verbal from the office of Dave Kujan with several flashbacks.

This is just a good movie. Keeps you guessing and on the edge of your seat throughout. Each and every character is at their best. The way the movie was shot is what puts it ahead of the rest. Another movie that stands the test of time.

I rented this movie when I was single, on a dark and rainy Saturday along with the movie Se7en, also starring Kevin Spacey. I was an instant fan.

3. Caddyshack (1980) - “And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice”

The funniest movie ever. How could it not be? Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Bill Murray…….and the ones you can’t name were just as funny. The reason this is number three and not just out there as another slapstick comedy is because of Bill Murray as the assistant groundskeeper, Carl Spackler. Most of his part was improvised, including the time-honored classic “A Cinderella story” monolog where he takes some whacks at some mums and becomes the Masters champion.

The plot focuses on Danny Noonan, played by Michael O’Keefe, and his desire to earn the scholorship that the country club he caddies at gives out each year. But, so many others steal the moment. Rodney Dangerfield’s greatest role. This IS the most quotable movie of all time. Even if you have never seen it, you have heard someone quote it at one time or another. “It’s in the hole!” and “Be the ball” and “I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.” are phrases I use in my every day language. I don’t even care for golf that much. That’s how good the movie is.

It even had a dancing gopher. Classic.

2. Say Anything (1989) - “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”

I AM Lloyd Dobler! This movie came out when I was a freshman in college. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Still don’t. The greatest character in any movie ever, ever, EVER. John Cusack plays Lloyd Dobler, a romantic optimist, despite himself. Ione Sky plays Diane Court, an overachiever who was never socialized into her high school group because of her studies. Lloyd decides that what he wants to DO with his life is be Diane’s boyfriend. Diane’s father is being investigated by the I.R.S. for stealing money from the elderly that he takes care of. Wonderfully played by John Mahoney, Fraiser’s father.

Cameron Crow, the writer and director of this movie is a genius and his movies are littered across my one hundred favorites. There are wonderful side characters, like best-friend Cory who has written sixty-five songs about Joe - “And I’m going to sing them all tonight.” Jeremy Piven and the “Gas-N-Sip” boys try to give out their man therapy.

This movie taught me to “dare-to-be-great” and not to be afraid to be different. The only reason it isn’t my favorite movie is because I’m not that big a fan of Ione Sky. She was great in the movie, I just wish somebody else played her part. A chick flick that I don’t need my wife around to watch.

1. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) - “It all comes down to one thing. Get busy living, or get busy dying."

Tim Robbins plays Andy Dufresne, a prisoner who has been falsely conviced of killing his wife. Morgan Freeman plays Red, the old con that can get things when needed. The two strike up a deep friendship. Andy is full of hope for the future, Red is living in the present, trying to forget his past and future.

I didn’t know this was the greatest movie I ever saw when I went to the theater. How good can a movie about prison be? But, the themes of the movie stayed with me for years. No matter what the situation is, there is always hope for the future. The more time passed, the more I understood the underlying themes. The most important of those being integrity. Andy Dufresne is an individual of integrity among a host of criminals and guards with little integrity. It has some very religious themes as well. Andy crawls through five hundred yards of sewer pipe and “comes out clean on the other side.”

For some reason, this film resonates with men, as all my friends view it as one of their favorites, while the women I know think it is depressing and dark. A film I can watch a thousand times and never get sick of it. I’m not a big fan of Tim Robbins off the screen, but on screen he is wonderful. Morgan Freeman is one of the best actors alive. Great plot, twist, acting, bad guys, good guys, bit charactert. The perfect movie.

Monday Night Ramblings

2007-05-14T19:04:00.000-05:00

Heroes is my favorite show ever. Seriously. Tonight is the show before the final one of the season. It makes me happy and sad. Happy that we'll reach the end of season one. Sad that we'll reach the end of season one.

I went to dinner tonight with my lovely wife and inlaws at a little hole in the wall Italian place near our house. Turns out, in Belton, Texas, everything is a hole in the wall. This just happens to be the closest one to our house and we actually like it. Tonight, my MIL's water tasted funny. My wife tasted it in her tea. Something in the water, glass, ice.....something. She ordered a Pepsi instead and said she could still taste it. I couldn't. She spent the entire meal obsessing about it. Seriously. Like 10 times. Sigh. Let it go.

Can elephants jump?

My dad had an e-coli bacteria infection. It wasn't the food kind or the "other" kind. It just found it's way in. He's getting better from that. That's two setbacks from the transplant. One pulmonary embolism and e-coli. Eventually he'll get there.

How I Met your Mother was interesting tonight. Is Robin off the show? I knew she would be...but I thought it would be there till the very last one.

I think I'm going to be offered a job soon. It's with a big national builder. I was hoping to get with a small company up here but there is just no opportunity. So, I'll work my tail off again. It'll be a big change of pace for me. Especially from the last 3 months.

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people. Bastards.

We live in the middle of nowhere. But Saturday, we went to the pro indoor football game. The Cen-Tex Barracudas vs. the Odessa somebodies.......We lost 32-42. Both teams were pretty bad. I think that's just the level of play for that league. But, a couple tidbits I found interesting. The local middle school band played at halftime. Didn't march, just played. I was particularly interested in the song choice. The 12 and 13 year olds played an excellent version of Tequila. Mommy musta been proud. They also had a rock concert after the game from DownSiid. They billed themselves as Ghetto Rock. It appeared from their flyer that they were from Correll, Texas. I may be wrong, but the ghetto rock band is from the country. That aint right. Are trailer parks ghetto? I think the ghetto people would be upset at that.

I can't lick my own elbow. Lori won't do it for me.

Deal or No Deal picks contestants that are idiots. Seriously. Sometimes it's best to take the deal.

I think I have a disease. Anal Glaucoma........I can't see my ass going back to work.

Ok....Heroes is starting soon. Need to get everything set up. I hope Hiro kills Sylar next week. That would be sweet.

Update on Dad

2007-05-11T12:31:00.000-05:00

Father update:

I'm currently sitting in my father's hospital room. The seventh floor of a brand spanking new hospital wing with a HD flatscreen TV and high speed internet. But the important stuff first.

I got to meet his team of doctors today. They said it was great that he got to the ER when he did. Whatever infection he had responded very well to the antibiotics and the blood cultures that came back today were negative. They said that he would be able to go home when that was the case. They're going to hold him till tomorrow until they can find out what the name of the bug was. After that, he'll probably get oral antibiotics. There was a chance he was going to have to do an in-home IV which would have been a pain. The DID take the main line out. That's just a pain in the butt that he has to have it re-installed before the transplant. But, in the big picture, not a big deal.

The problem is, he may not want to go home. He doesn't have high speed internet. I showed him how to watch his favorite shows on CBS.com and NBC.com. He's in hog heaven with that. Jericho is his favorite....he watched 5 of them last night. He hasn't even found a lot of the stuff he'll have fun with. When he comes back from the transplant, he'll be able to explore a little more. Everybody is as polite as a hotel staff. Valet parking. I may try to be admitted.

But, he misses his dogs and his granddaughter. We brought pictures of all of them and put them up in the room.

My day wasn't supposed to go like THAT!

2007-05-08T18:07:00.001-05:00

.......This is a long long long rant that is not the witty funny sarcastic thing that I usually write....
It is my way of unloading an increadibly long long day off of my shoulders.

Lori and I moved up here to Belton, Texas, for several reasons:
1. Less stress
2. Closer to my brother's family
3. Less traffic
but most imporantly.....
4. Help out with my mom and dad.

Mom had a stroke years ago and is in a wheelchair. Dad has multiple myloma and is in the home stretch for getting a stem-cell transplant (not embryos). He's been on the verge of the transplant for a few months. He's gone so far as to have the "main-line" installed in his chest to harvest the good bone marrow cells. The DAY before he was going to start that, they did a bunch of test and found that he had a pulmonary embolysm. Basically, he has a blood clot in his lungs. Doctor's freaked. We didn't. Yeah....we know he could drop dead at any time. What else is new? So, they delayed everything a month and put him on blood thinners....expensive injections that he takes twice a day to get rid of the clot. That's a problem for that "main line" they put in. It's not supposed to be just hanging out for a month without a job to do.

Which brings me to this morning. We got my dad a laptop as part of the "Make Daddy Comfortable" operation since he'll be in the hospital for three weeks at some point with the transplant. We ordered him a skin for it (a big sticker that goes on the outside and makes it look cool). There was some problems and I was trying to help. So, as soon as the customer service opened, I called and got some info (it's in the mail). Called mom at about 7:30 this morning.

"I have to get off the phone. Waiting for the doctor to call back."
"Is dad o.k."
"NO!"

Made the 24 mile trek over there in less than 20 minutes. I new record! I got an update on the way, but wasn't briefed properly until I was by his side. He woke up with a fever. A fever in his condition is bad. It probably means an infection. The problem was he had "the shakes" worse than he ever has and was having a hard time moving. Doctor said he didn't want me taking him in, so 911 was called. While the ambulance came, I put the dogs away (all 6 of them), helped my mom get dressed, helped Mackenzie get dressed, and cleaned the kitchen and den. Ambulance came and carted dad off and we followed. Got to the hospital before 9 am.

Scott and White Hospital in Temple just opened a new wing. It's freakin awesome. Nicest emergency room I've been in. HDTVs, play area for Mackenzie....they pimped it out real good. We give the doctors the mobile pharmacy that my dad takes every day and they start running test. By the time we got to the hospital, my dad was feeling fine. His temperature was 102.7 though. Update my brother. Update Lori.

So, once situated, I went from "Steve the Caregiver" to "Steve the Babysitter." My mom and dad were watching my two and a half year old niece. She was being well behaved and (truth be told) helps out more with my parents than my 11 year old nephew or 14 year old niece. We went hospital exploring. Turns out, Uncle Steve's arms last for about 30 minutes of carrying a 2 1/2 year old. So, back to the room. Around noon, we decided to go eat and I left mom and dad in the room.

McDonalds. She doesn't know the difference between McD's and any other place. Just gimme french fries! We tried to play in the play area, but she wasn't real in to it. A little too big for her. So, we did some more exploring. Temple is a railroad town and the old depot has been turned into a museum. They have a HUGE engine out and she got to climb up and get INSIDE. She loves trains but had never been close to one before. She had a ball.

They had a huge play area that was built by all the local businesses called the Whistle Stop Playground. Again, a little too much for her. But the difference was it was built so all the parents (and uncles) could climb on it too. I decided to bite the bullet and go down the big slide. Once she saw that - IT WAS ON! Turns out, Uncle Steve is good for about 1 hour of playground time before he's done. We stayed close to 2 hours. Swings, bridges, rope ladders, slides. She didn't want to leave, but didn't whimper too much.

Back to the emergency room. The doctors all suspect the same thing everybody else does. Infection. Don't know where. We have an idea. That "main line" is basically a hole in his chest for anything and everything to get in and out of. They ultrasounded his gall bladder and liver. Did bloodwork, x-ray........

He's being admitted overnight while they monitor the fever. No biggie for the family. We've been through it before. My SIL and brother showed up in different cars. I gladly passed the now passed out Mackenzie to mommy. My SIL and the kids went back to my parents house. I got all of my dad's accounting files off his home computer and put them on his laptop. He does the accounting for their little church and while we all believe it is too much for him, we also agree that taking it away from him would be a bad thing. He enjoys having a purpose and being responsible.....plus he's good at it.

Took the computer up to the emergency room....still waiting for a regular room. Working on 9 hours in that little cube. My brother will take my mom back home at some point. I got home around six.

I had chores all laid out to do around the house today. That got scrapped. I'll be in Houston the next two days. I think dad will be fine with this little episode. I do think it is a good "fire drill" for how we'll all react with something more serious. And it's a good test run to see how he likes the hospital. He's going to have to get used to it sooner than later. I'm gonna go to bed soon.

CLIFF NOTES VERSION:
Dad had fever.
Went to emergency room.
Possible infection.
I took care of Mackenzie all day.
Steve's arms, back, legs, and brain are tired.

My wife is a marketing case study:

2007-04-29T21:44:00.000-05:00

Today was a really good day. We finished getting all the blinds installed throughout the house so it feels like we actually live her now. Before, we had temporary paper blinds that served their purpose well, but needed to come down. My wife ordered a motorized blind for the living room with a remote control. With the hit of a button I can open the blinds and see my gorgeous view out the back. It's cool. But it got me thinking.......

My wife is the stereotype when it comes to shopping. She is by no means a typical woman. There are things that she just can't get on board with. Purses, expensive jewelry (she'll let me buy it...she just won't buy it herself).....there are things she just doesn't have a big use for. But a lot of the typical things and you could teach a class to marketing students about what makes a girl tick.

Today we took a trip to WalMart. Spent a good hour on the food side. "Low Carbs." Gotta have that...it's healty for us. "Low Fat." That too. "Low Sodium." Oh yeah! "No Sugar Added." Now we're talking. "Chocolate Donuts." Bo-yeah! Wait....chocolate donuts? Yup. Don't get me wrong. I'm putting in the potato chips, ice cream, cookies.....but I make no apologies that I don't read the labels. I should. But I don't and I'm fine with it. On the other hand, put lots of colors, make it into convenient sized packages, and put "Low something" on it and it's probably going to end up in our cart. And, cover it in chocolate, cinnamon, cream, or cheese and there's a good chance it will make the cut. I'm not sure what diet we're on. Low fat, low sodium, or low carbs. I think we're on a little of all of it.

Ok. So we made it through the store, filled up a good sized cart, found a checkout line, and we're standing there waiting for the science experiment people in front of us to check out so we could get our stuff up on the belt. I hear, "I'll be right back." She returns to witness the last of the groceries being loaded up on the counter. What happened? Could she not find the color, size, item she was looking for? Ha. Yes, she is distracted by the brightly colored clothes strategically placed just outside of her grasp in line. So, while I do all the work, loading up the groceries, she gets to dance through a maze of cheaply sewn undergarmets with John Deere logos on them. Doesn't seem quite fair.

I do thinks like dangle my keys. I mean, I figure something shiney and jingley should distract her back over my way. That backfires every time. She hates that.

It is true though. My wife has a shopping addiction. Shoes. Comfortable shoes. There is a package every few days on our front door. QVC sends us a Christmas card. When our cable goes out, the QVC stock drops. Well.....maybe not. But, I can bet you if I went in and turned on the television in the master bedroom, the station that would pop up would be QVC. It's her background noise. Never know when you are going to find a deal you just can't pass up. Like Grandpa watches the Weather Channel, my wife watches QVC. She knows the salespeople by name. BY NAME!

And our shower. Last time I checked, there are only two heads that reside at this residence. Mine and my wife's. I haven't figured out why there are seven (Not five. Not six.) Different kinds of shampoo in our shower. I have one. Walmart mega bottle....last me a year. Then there is moisturizing shampoo. Curl maintenance shampoo. Color maintenance shampoo. Gentle shampoo. And two shampoos that don't have a purpose. They just smell nice. Pair this with the apricot sand paper exfoliating creams, conditioner buffet, and razor museum and there's not a lot of room left to actually shower.

The following are said weekly:
1. I had to get it. They had free shipping.
2. We'll just try it.
3. I'm expecting a package today. Be on the lookout.
4. I need on the computer to check something.......QVC.com

I'm not complaining. It's her money. She could by 50 shampoos and start a club for all I care. I just find it fascinating.

I Don't Know

2007-04-24T17:33:00.001-05:00

This is my version of a Hank Williams III song. The most fun song I have sang so far.

Godspeed

2007-04-23T19:50:00.001-05:00

Kareoke FEVER!

2007-04-23T13:50:00.000-05:00

Well.....through the job search, I try to find ways to fill the time. I've started playing my guitar a lot more which has me going through old memories of when "my band" was together back a few years ago. I miss playing with those guys and I miss those guys in general.

But, I stumbled across a couple of websites that have ignited my dream of becoming a rock star. Ok....it's not a dream really. It's a fantasy. Even if I had the best voice in the world, I don't think I would want to be a rock star because of all that it involves. Groupies would be fun though.

SingShot.com has a few recordings. It was fun. But then I found SingSnap.com and I've had a blast for the last four days singing everything I can get my voice on. As embarrassing as it is to let people I know hear me sing, I'm having too much fun to care.

And I went ahead and added a MP3 player with three (yes >>3<<) origianal songs instead of just the one that's been hanging out there for so long. There are a couple more songs I need to get the recordings of.

I'll update when I have something meaningful to update.

2007-04-14T16:09:00.000-05:00

I don't have anything to say....haven't in awhile. I feel like I should update my Blog just because if I don't, I'll forget about it forever.

Job search has been frustrating. I've had a couple of good interviews....but they just weren't the right fit. There's a job out there. I just have to let them know that I'm available for it. I'm still working two days a week in Houston. Each week, I pick two days that I will have stuff to do and I wake up dirt early on the first day, stay in a hotel, then come back after work on the second day. The best part has been the hotels I get to stay in. I found Priceline.com and spend anywhere from $25 to $50 a night. The $25 hotels are o.k.....usually extended stay hotels with full kitchens. The $50 hotels are AWESOME....Sheraton Galleria suites......it's like my own mini-vacation. I've borrowed my father-in-law's laptop and I'm able to get on the wireless internet in my room usually. It's put enough money in my pocket that it's worth it. I'm grateful to my bosses have enough trust in me to do it.

The house is still just as great as ever. The snow last week was surreal. We go out exploring every chance we get. Eventually, we'll get some paint and start customizing it the way we want. We just need more money.

My puppy is fun. She chews things she shouldn't. She likes to chew things that we don't find for a couple of days (the backside of a couple of throw pillows, socks under the bed). But, besides that, she's been really good. She's learned to "sit" and "lay down." We're working on "roll over" but that's asking a lot right now. Our most recent challenge is to get her to stop chewing on Lori. Lori's "no" isn't powerful enough to freak her out. So, we've started "yelping".....as strange as I'm sure it sounds to others, it works, so we're sticking with it.

That's my life in a nutshell

Global Warming

2007-04-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

In my lifetime, I have physically SEEN it snow in Texas a total of THREE times in my 37 years. Once on Thanksgiving back in 1974. I don't remember it, but I know it happened because I have pictures of me next to a snowman in my back yard. The next time was Christmas three years ago. We drove back to Houston that same time....it had already snowed there. We missed most of the event.

And today - April 7, 2007. It was 80 degrees here just two days ago. We weren't sure it was snow for a while. Then it started sticking together. It's really the first time I have seen it REALLY snow in Texas. I mean like flakes sticking together. It's not sticking to the ground long. It's still 35 degrees and is melting quickly, but it's snow.

My wife hasn't seen this since she was a little kid. We had heard that there was a chance this could happen this weekend. I don't think we believed it. I hope there isn't a tsunami coming tomorrow.

2007-04-04T22:05:00.000-05:00

My Hometown
I just recently moved to this little place. I figured, since I'm not working at all, I'd go out and do some 'sploring today. It only took a couple of hours. Everything is within 10 miles of my house.

The pride and joy of our little town is the courthouse. Belton is the county seat. The courthouse was built in 1884 and as country courthouses go, it's a little famous. It was just restored in 1999 and you can see it from a lot of different places around town. It's the centerpiece of the July 4th celebration.

Nolan Creek runs through the town. My grandmother started up a hamburger stand in the little park back when my mom was a baby. That little hamburger stand grew and eventually, my grandfather quit is job as a butcher and opened Butch's Cafe in downtown Belton. He sold it in 1976, but he and his family lived quite comfortably because of that old place. My brother and I have some of the greatest memories. The buildings (the park stand and the cafe) are still there. The park stand closed recently and a few years ago the cafe was turned into a barbeque restaurant. My grandfather would have been happy about that.

It flooded here over the weekend. Belton Lake is up and they're letting water out quickly through the dam. Nolan Creek is just as high. There is a low-water bridge down past downtown that looks like a real pretty waterfall. My brother and I skipped a million rocks off of this bridge. I skipped a few more while I was down there today.

I drove to the park, visited my grandpa's old cafe, went by the old church that my parents got married in, drove through my grandparent's old neighborhood, visited the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor, visited the gravesite of my grandparents, went to Belton dam and watched the water rush through to the Leon River, and took some pictures from the top of the dam of the lake. All this in about an hour and a half. Someday I'll go to the Bell County Museum and check out some of the history. Today was just to see how pretty this little place is. I haven't showed my wife a lot of it. I hope she appreciates it as much as I do.

Dog Training/Wife Training

2007-04-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

I'm learning that there is a fine line between dog training and wife training. (Ok....I checked. She's not looking) Tonight, my dog decided it was time to show me her alter ego - "Queen DevilFreckles." I'm tired, she's tired, my wife is pissed......the all American family!

My wife likes to lay in bed and watch TV in the evening for about 30 minutes. This dog LOVES women - especially my wife. But she loves to play play PLAY! She discovered my wifes boobies tonight and has decided it is her personal mission to pop one of them I think. My wife is pretty patient but when she wants her down-time, she wants her down-time.

So, we shut the bedroom door and Freckles and I decided to work on "stay in your bed." She likes her bed ok. Her toys are all in there. I think she gets the point. BUT - her attention span lacks substance. She runs to the bedroom door and wines. I calmly pick her up and put her back. Again. And again. And again. Again again again again again again again.....I think she gets it, but I don't think she cares. Anyway....it wore us both out.

My wife loves this little dog. But her "NO" voice is in the same tone as her "Iwubsthelittlepupperwupperdawggie" tone. I get called in to break up fights. I have a hard time communicating that >>I<< can't tell the difference between her play and not-play tone. A little patience I think. I mean, I've trained my wife to do all kinds of things through patience and learning. I've got her wrapped around my little finger to where I don't have to do a thing.

Well....that's all for tonight. I have to go bring in the garbage can, unload the dishwasher, and fold clothes.

Oh wait.

Damn.

My Niece

2007-03-31T22:26:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've posted anything about Mackenzie. I couldn't be prouder of another human being. She's growing up so quickly. She takes care of Me-Maw and Pa-Paw better than anybody. She just started going to "school" and the teachers are amazed at how much of a conversation she can carry on. She gets up in Pa-Paw's lap and actually has a conversation about life, politics, cartoons, dogs, her day, food, her worries......keep in mind she's just two and a half! I'm proud of my other niece and nephew.....but I have been proud of them for years.

Mackenzie is going to grow up to be a vet. She almost doesn't have a choice. She is going to specialize in dogs. Sasha is her doggie. Sasha is a big mutt that has loved Mackenzie since she was a newborn. Stringbean is the mother dog and can't leave the house until she is sure Mackenzie is o.k. and safe. Shasta is her other baby. Zeke is the biggest of all the dogs and tolerates more from her than any other human. Cougar (the smartest of all the dogs) and her have conversations and LOVE to play with the flashlight together. Midget, the smallest of all the dogs, gets the most affections from Mackenzie. That's SIX DOGS that she takes care of and they take care of her.

I took over my new puppy a couple of days ago. Freckles is getting used to new people and isn't sure about most. Mackenzie had "that way" with Freckles that fascinated me. Mackenzie saw the puppie and said "Awww......puppy!" and scratched in just the right spot behind the ear....just like she was a pro. She wants to come visit. This dog may not be ready for kids....but I think she's ready for Mac.....I'm looking forward to the interaction.

My niece Alysia is 13 now and bigtime into softball. She joined track so that she could get faster in softball. She plays in tournaments all over the state. My sis-in-law and brother travel quite a bit with practices and games. Mackenzie helps take care of Me-Maw and Pa-Paw (they take care of her, but she's the best helper in the business). She's the apple of my father's eye and I'm betting when she grows up, she'll know how to cook better than Emril from watching my mom do it.

I'm a gushing uncle. But, I really do think that she has more responsibilities at 2 1/2 than any other kid her age. She doesn't understand how much she knows. Six dogs, two grandparents that depend on her almost as she does on them, a brother and sister that give her hours of entertainment, and a mom and dad that spoil her to the level of a queen. How can this kid NOT grow up to be a star?

I'm thrilled that I moved up here close to her so that I could watch her grow more.

2007-03-30T22:03:00.000-05:00

I love weather.

Today was crazy. A little one hour "Steve, this is your mother. Can you take me to run a couple of errands" trip turned into a 6 hour free-for-all.

My mother is in a wheelchair. My dad helps her in and out of the car and drives her around. Recently, my dad has gotten sick and driving her around is not in his best interest. So, we make other plans. My sister-in-law helps a lot, but she's started working again now that Mackenzie is old enough to help Me-maw and Pa-paw help her. So, I was enlisted. No problem.

Left at 11:30. Got there at noon. Got to JC Pennys salon at about 12:30. Got out of JC Pennys at about 2:00 pm. Post office, then my home to check on my puppy. Puppy is NOT happy that we left her alone with thunderstorms outside. She left me a note near the door to tell me how upset she was. Back out to Walmart.

It seems that there is a distinct possibility that there may not indeed be an actual or real Easter Bunny. My mom bought enough candy and crap to give everyone in Rhodesia a happy Easter. She was making 5 baskets. Three for the kids and one for Lori and I. One for Brent and Betty (my brother and sister-in-law). It is very much like Halloween without trick-or-treating. Or Halloween with fake green grass.

The problem is that the entire time this is going on, it's POURING down raining. I have to load my mom, get the wheelchair into her car, load the groceries and Easter crap. TORNADOs heading our way.

I lived for a short time in California. Earthquakes didn't scare me. I lived in Houston my whole life. Hurricanes were an excuse for a party. I actually looked forward to hurricanes (I know I shouldn't have, but I loved the show). Tornados make me pee myself. You don't have a good enough warning, there's nothing you can do if they want to get you, and they suck.

Radio said a tornado touched down in Belton. I raced home and everything was fine. But my doggie was a little pissed.

Anyhoo....that was the jist of my day.

2007-03-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

Our Puppy Adventure - Day One!

Miss Pickleshorts has arrived! Woo hoo! I'm pretty excited. Lori is pretty overwhelmed....but she's pretty excited, too. Pickles is taking to her new diggs pretty quickly. She already christened the master bedroom with a big gift for us. She tried to get my computer room, but I caught her as she was starting. We won't count that one.

I met the owner of the rescue organization in Austin after working in Houston today. Passed over the money and she passed over the dog. Pickles wasn't scared of me. She jumped right up in the truck like she was an old pro. Once in the truck, she kept her distance and laid down in the passenger seat.

Down the road towards home with a little quick stop at the Petsmart. She wasn't too sure about all the other dogs in the Round Rock store (Round Rock is mostly upper-class Austinites. These dogs were spoiled!). Food, chew toys, water bowl, potty pads (just in case), stain remover, treats, chews.....got it! When I found the treats, I opened up in the store to make sure she liked them o.k. It was at that moment, we became best friends. She hasn't left my side ever since. In my lap or right next to me the rest of the way home. "This dude will feed me? I'll kiss his ass!"

Once we got home, we tried to potty in the front yard. Pickles was SO excited to be out of the car. Next door, in the dark, there was some brick with a tarp over it. The wind rustled the tarp and the terror that is Pickles came down on thy tarp! But she didn't want to get close to it. Just lettin her know she was there. We went inside to meet mommy (briefly) and looked for this backyard that Pickles had heard so much about. Once I took her off the leash - IT WAS ON! She ran and ran and ran and ran and ran some more. Big figure-eights, like she was trying it on for size....seeing how big she could get her circles. After getting tired out, she came inside and downed a bladderfull of water. Lori and I tried to calm her on the couch, but she would have NONE of that. She was a 'splorin fool!

Two hours later and we've been back outside to pee 4 times. Sometimes she goes....sometimes she runs or lays down in the grass and rolls around. She's just happy to be home.

Tonight, we've locked ourselves in the office while mommy sleeps. She's found her chew toys. She slept awhile on the ottoman I have in here. Now she's on the floor making an excellent doorstop. I can hear her if she wakes up because it will rattle the door. As soon as I hear it, we're bolting for the backyard again.

This blog won't become "PUPPY WATCH 2007" - I promise. But I'll update every now and then.

2007-03-26T10:10:00.000-05:00

In the Mood for a Rant

I'm tired of the hypocrisy. Everybody. I struggle daily to be the best person that I can be. I make no promises to be perfect. I don't think I know better than anyone else. I get tired of being told how I can do thing better by people that can't even do things for themselves.

Today, the stewardess (I typed that whole word with my left hand...cool) that had her little "roll in the bathroom" with Ralph Fiennes came out and said that she was in fact a high dollar prostitute in her past. She confirmed that they did in fact "do it" in the bathroom. Unprotected sex. That doesn't bother me so much. Good for Ralph. Get you some. He's an idiot for doing it that way, but it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is he was on a flight to India to talk about AIDS prevention by practicing safe sex.

It brings me back to Revered Ted Haggard. This prick (there really is no other term to describe him) went on the Barbara Walters special as an "authority" on who God was. He is...err...was the head of that mega-church in Colorado Springs. He got his church and all the people that followed him involved in political fights about gay marriage and how wrong it is in the eyes of the lord. Again - good for them. They have a belief and they are following through. Just don't throw rocks at the gay people, let the gay people have their turn at the debate, and let's see what happens. I think the church is wrong, but I am in no position to know what God thinks is right or wrong. But then it comes out that 'ol Mr. Haggard has been in a THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP with a MALE PROSTITUTE so that he could help him aquire METH? This is the same guy that looked me in the eye on national television to tell me that being gay was wrong. I guess having a three year relationship with a male prostitute doesn't make you "gay"....wait a minute. Yes it does. Flaming gay. There is no trial period for stuff like that. And again, I don't care. Be as gay as you want to be. Just don't get on my TV and tell me how against it you are while you are doing the exact things you are campaigning against.

It's everywhere. All the Catholic priest and the little alter boys. I mean, I can see isolated cases of confused priest here and there. But it's like it's a fraternity and the alter boys are the sorority after a four-keg party.

I'm just tired of being told what is right and wrong by people that don't have the first clue. From President Clinton all the way down to the next door neighbor. Leave me alone.

2007-03-24T18:36:00.000-05:00

MEET SENORITA FRECKLEFACE

The deal was, once we got our house and one of us got a job, we would start looking for a dog. I miss my last dog, Fozzie. I have been browsing the rescue shelters for some time, not really saying anything until Lori was ready.

I think she's ready. Today, I made an application on one dog out of about 1,000 that I looked at. The application was harder than my college application - full of references, pictures of our house, blood type....well, not blood type, but I have it handy just in case.

A few minutes ago, the foster parent called me for a phone interview. Freckles is four months old. She is a Corgi/Australian Shepard mix. She's very healthy and playful. Her sister, Velveeta, just went to her permanent home a couple of weeks ago.

We talked on the phone for about thirty minutes. The next step in the process is for us to meet Freckles (formerly known as Miss Pickleshorts). We decided to meet next Saturday in Round Rock, which is halfway between us and the foster family (I think it's closer to them, but I offered to come to their house or close by if need be). Once we (and they) and Freckie are satisfied that we will all be happy together, the next step is to schedule a home visit.

The cool part is, the lady liked me so much, we will probably skip that step. I'm going to send pictures of our house and yard. If everything goes as planned, we'll bring Freckles home next weekend. We're talking about changing the name. She's only 4 months old. My wife's only real concern is the potty training. I'll be doing all kinds of research on that this week. I'm not too worried, but all of our other dogs came with potty training attached. I'm a little more excited than I should be. Look at that face. Look at those legs. We're gonna have fun.

2007-03-24T09:48:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my Dawgs!

I went out yesterday to Home Depot and bought something for me. I haven't really bought much for me since I barely have a job. But, I didn't really buy it. My Dawgs bought it for me. It's a desk lamp that I've wanted for awhile. I like it.